I guess I'm stubborn and stuck

[DannyCA]

I saw my ex 3 months ago for the first time in 2 years. When I saw her things went great and things happened that I would not have expected in a million years because of how bitter we were to each other for two years.

 

1. We got along just as good, if not better than when we dated
   
2. She told me her favorite thing to sleep in is my old sweater I gave her and she wouldn't know how to explain that to a boyfriend because she doesn't want to stop sleeping in it
   
3. She said her favorite scarf is still the one I got her years ago at Christmas
   
4. She brought me around her parents and they were really excited to see me
   
5. She told me shes pretty sure her parents still want us to get married
   
6. The way she would look at me during the two days we hungout was the same way she looked at me the first time she said "i love you"
   
7. When we dated, if she was nervous/shy about telling me something, but still really wanted to tell me, she would do this stuttering laugh while trying to get the words out. She did that for this entire list and countless other times
   
8. She offered to let me stay at her place during my stay in her city
   

 

A few weeks ago she posted a picture of her with a guy and a picture of just him on what looks like a date. I've taken countless pictures with friends of mine who are girls that look exactly like the pictures she posted, and these girls have posted pics of just me that look like the one my ex posted, but I've never been attracted to them nor have I done anything with them.

 

I just can't help but feel like I'm fooling myself if I say they don't look like a couple.

 

The last two years I've done some serious soul searching and growing as an individual (I'm in my early 20's), but I'm still not the man I'd like to be. Even though we had a great time, if she told me tomorrow she wanted to get back together, I would decline because I'm not happy with myself. I still have much more growing to do alone. I can see that if you are not happy with yourself, you shouldn't be in a relationship

 

But still, I have to admit, seeing those pictures really hit hard.

[BlackHat]

if she told me tomorrow she wanted to get back together, I would decline because I'm not happy with myself.

 

I am almost twice your age, and this is a real man talking if I ever seem one.

 

Let me help you grow a bit more. Her attitude is classic of a b****...bubble gum. Basically, she is not so sure that she will end up with the other guy (probably an alpha male) so she wants to make sure she keeps you close.

 

I had a somehow similar experience once. I used to have a lover, but eventually got tired of her and replaced her with someone else. Still, she was pretty hot so when she contacted me a year or so after I replaced her I really wanted to meet her and do you know what.

 

However, she wanted us to be "friends". She wanted to talk to me, to hang out, etc...I knew that something was not right, so I told her that sure I would meet her, but only in my apartment and only to do the dirty deed. She got mad and hanged up the phone. Not a week later she called me again and agreed so we met and did what we had to do.

 

After the deal was completed she told me that she had a boyfriend and was mad at him for whatever reason...I knew it! She simply wanted to check if she could keep me around. Of course I welcomed her to meet me as long as it was at my place for a couple of hours.

 

What I am trying to tell you is that you should recognize that she wants to keep you around in case the man she REALLY loves and REALLY wants to marry decides to dump her. Then, if she is in an age where she wants to have babies and someone to pays for them, she will conveniently call you to rekindle the old flame.

 

There is nothing good there for you, so STOP CONTACTING HER.

 

No more hanging with the parents, or going out together, unless you want to do it my way and tell her that you only want her for s**. Otherwise next time she calls you tell her that you don't think its a good idea, and if you want to make it extra fun ask her to bring her boyfriend along and see how she reacts.

 

At any rate you are a human being. You have value. And you are no second dish to anyone.

[DannyCA]

 

However, she wanted us to be "friends". She wanted to talk to me, to hang out, etc...I knew that something was not right

 

Funny, every time she's contacted me when she was in my city, she wanted us to be "friends", wanted to talk to me, and hang out. The idea to use her for s** always crossed my mind, I knew I could get her into bed, but I couldn't bring myself to do that.

 

It's just been a sh** road of ups and downs. It really pisses me off that I can't forget about her. I don't have an ounce of feelings for any of my ex's before her and I don't even have an ounce of feelings for my ex from a few months ago, but the one from 2 years ago is on my mind everyday.