fred123 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 iv noticed women resent men after a while, especially when they were actually nice and interested to them in the beginning. what makes a women turn like this??
darkbloom Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 I don't resent men. Even though I've been burned by a few. I'm not all that trusting though. Men and their motives make me uneasy.
Hopeful30 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 In my opinion, a woman only resents men if she is incapable of letting go of poor past experiences with them. Not all men are the same, and if every situation were the same, then maybe you're the pattern and the change must be within you.
paigej91 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 iv noticed women resent men after a while, especially when they were actually nice and interested to them in the beginning. what makes a women turn like this?? Your question is vague and cryptic, so it's hard to truly answer this. However, believe it or not, when I do actually come across a genuinely nice guy, I find myself quite hesitant because I'm living in an era where a legitimate nice guy (read: not a misogynistic "nice guy" who actually condemns women for not choosing him simply because he's "nice") is so rare I assume there are other motives I'm not aware of....yet. Sad, but true. I wish this were not the case, but I have to be on guard because of: a) modern dating which does not favor my/most women's interests and b) my past (where I've been hurt badly).
Toodaloo Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Well in my experience the "nice" guys turn out to be not at all nice. They turn out to be selfish, egotistical, lazy and entitled. I am always very wary of a nice guy... They hide it at the beginning and lull you into a false sense of security and then your fecked. Give me the guy who farts, belches and is honest about forgetting your birthday. At least you know what you are getting and can make an informed decision. I don't wait to date saints any more because their halos slip and when they do they blame you for it... you end up giving up everything that you were and that is where the resentment starts to slip in... I want to date the good guy, the great guy, the one who knows his sort comings and who knows who he is and what he wants. The one who says buggar off I am out with my mates so I can go out with mine too! I want the guy who is going to turn up and be supportive even if he is a pain in the ass. I don't want the one who is the pretender to the throne... 2
elaine567 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 iv noticed women resent men after a while, especially when they were actually nice and interested to them in the beginning. what makes a women turn like this?? Perceived and real wrong doings and a failure to meet expectations or deliver on promises made. Discarding her thoughts and feelings, making her feel unloved and demolishing the emotional connection she thought she had. Men generally acting like douchebags, partying all the time, cheating, choosing friends over family responsibilities, whilst she is basically left alone to shoulder the burden of the house, children, finances, work, etc.
PegNosePete Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 What are you trying to ask here? Why do women resent men after a while? Or why do women resent YOU after a while? 2
Lernaean_Hydra Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 iv noticed women resent men after a while, especially when they were actually nice and interested to them in the beginning. what makes a women turn like this?? I'm assuming you're asking what would make a (hypothetical) woman resent a (hypothetical) man? In my expereince, resentment builds - for both sexes - for many reasons. The cause depends only on the individual and there is no set list of "5 things men do that make women resent them" one can easily follow and learn to avoid making such errors. However, from what I've seen, one of the biggest causes for resentment is a marked increase in general complacency within the relationship. When your partner stops making gestures to make you feel desired or appreciated (compliments, flowers, romantic dates, one-on-one time outside of sex, etc), it can build resentment. When a partner stops doing their share around the house, it builds resentment. When you start to feel like your partner doesn't listen to you, spend enough time with you (chooses things like Facebook or gaming over personal time as a couple, etc), yeah, resentment often follows. When one party feels the relationship hasn't yet reach it's pinnacle, yet things remain stagnated, it can build resentment; Why won't he move in/marry/have a baby with me/etc is a question many women are often made to ask themselves (and their SOs) only to come up short of a satisfactory answer. Feeling there is very clear room for improvement within your relationship yet seeing your SO make little effort to actually improve things can definitely build resentment. But those are all just vague scenarios and maybes. Realistically speaking, for me personally, what's caused the bulk of my resentment was my partner demonstrating he was apparently incapable of listening to anything I said which in turn gave me the impression he felt my thoughts/feelings/needs were of little value. When I said "Honey, can you please do __" and he didn't or "Please don't do __" yet he did it any way, it made me feel increasingly bitter and unappreciated, not to mention disrespected. We women are often accused of hiding our feelings and expecting men to be mind readers thus leading to a breakdown in communication, but often times, we've actually have tried - and numerous times at that - to openly communicate our feelings in term of behaviors/things we like or dislike only to be ignored. After a while, many women just give up and, feeling things will never change, instead give into silence, sullenness and allow resentment to fester. 1
elaine567 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 I think it is also about disappointment, "he said loved me sooo much, yet now he hardly says two words to me and we never go out any more; we never have any fun" and unfairness - injustice. "I spend hours cleaning, cooking and making things look nice after my work, but he comes in, eats, plays his games, sleeps on the sofa and never even notices or offers to help. 1
Toodaloo Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 I think it is also about disappointment, "he said loved me sooo much, yet now he hardly says two words to me and we never go out any more; we never have any fun" and unfairness - injustice. "I spend hours cleaning, cooking and making things look nice after my work, but he comes in, eats, plays his games, sleeps on the sofa and never even notices or offers to help. Oh so true...
kendahke Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 what context are we talking about here? It could be a million things. Narrow down your focus.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 I think after they've had their panties charmed off by enough guys who turn out to be d-bags, they get a bit cynical Lol.
serial muse Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 I think after they've had their panties charmed off by enough guys who turn out to be d-bags, they get a bit cynical Lol. Heh, I found this interesting. Most of the other responses were from women, who assumed the OP was talking specifically about a one-on-one situation, where a woman who has been with a man for a while comes to resent him over time. That, I admit, is what I also assumed from the OP's question. And my response, like theirs, would have been that resentment grows when I feel like the person I'm with isn't loving to me in the way he once was. However, you, a guy, assumed the OP was asking why women in a general sense would resent men in a general sense. And the answer you gave was that women are jaded by bad boys. I'm not judging either way, I just think it's telling that we all go back to the same well that confirms our personal prejudices. Cryptic posts like the OP's are like a Rorschach test for LS posters. We all see in it what we want to see. So, OP, did you get the answer you were looking for? What is it you really want to know here? It's hard to not impose one's personal fears and experiences on strangers on the internet, but harder still when you won't tell us your situation so we can even have a hope of giving a balanced and thoughtful answer. Without more information about you we're just all going to keep telling you, in various and differently veiled ways, what brought each of us to LS in the first place.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Heh, I found this interesting. Most of the other responses were from women, who assumed the OP was talking specifically about a one-on-one situation, where a woman who has been with a man for a while comes to resent him over time. That, I admit, is what I also assumed from the OP's question. And my response, like theirs, would have been that resentment grows when I feel like the person I'm with isn't loving to me in the way he once was. However, you, a guy, assumed the OP was asking why women in a general sense would resent men in a general sense. And the answer you gave was that women are jaded by bad boys. I'm not judging either way, I just think it's telling that we all go back to the same well that confirms our personal prejudices. Cryptic posts like the OP's are like a Rorschach test for LS posters. We all see in it what we want to see. So, OP, did you get the answer you were looking for? What is it you really want to know here? It's hard to not impose one's personal fears and experiences on strangers on the internet, but harder still when you won't tell us your situation so we can even have a hope of giving a balanced and thoughtful answer. Without more information about you we're just all going to keep telling you, in various and differently veiled ways, what brought each of us to LS in the first place. I made it as more of a sarcastic comment for a trap question. Not all women resent men.
Redhead14 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 iv noticed women resent men after a while, especially when they were actually nice and interested to them in the beginning. what makes a women turn like this?? If you are talking about misandry, which is a deep seeded resentment of men as a gender, it is rooted in childhood very often. Lack of or poor male role models and continuing that cycle as they grow older by choosing men who are similar to those models. It's the same a misogyny in men. In the end, they want and need a connection with the opposite sex and push their "issues" aside but can't maintain it.
regine_phalange Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 The times I resented men had one or more of these things in common: When someone acts manipulative and wants to control the pace and route of the relationship without discussing When someone's in denial of conflict and sweeps problems under the rug Snide remarks that are disguised as jokes, or "I didn't mean it that way" or "you are blowing this out of proportion!" 2
serial muse Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 I made it as more of a sarcastic comment for a trap question. Not all women resent men. Ah, well played then. Very well veiled. Anyway, I do hope the OP will come back and explain what it is he really wants to know. I mean, people are totally entitled to ask questions however they want, of course, but I tend to think personally tailored advice is going to be more useful to just about anyone than echo-chambery pile-ons.
carhill Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 OP, would you say that some of this perspective comes from observing your sister? "i have a sister and she is very sweet to me and always on my side and says some girls have been real rude and cruel to me but i have seen her do the same to other guys as well" http://www.loveshack.org/forums/off-topic/personal-rants-confessions/512038-maybe-women-should-look-themselves 1
WomenWubber Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 People who give a lot tend to build up resentment, because they often don't get as much in return.
SawtoothMars Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 iv noticed women resent men after a while, especially when they were actually nice and interested to them in the beginning. what makes a women turn like this?? Women don't tend to generalize the same way men do. If a woman resents you it is because of the relationship. 2
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