Butterfly228 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 So! I've been on a break for almost a month now with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. All throughout our relationship we were set to never take a break because either we are together or we aren't. All throughout our relationship we argued a lot. We moved in after a few months being together. Very fast but it was kind of no choice I got kicked out and had nowhere to go. After 2 years of living together we decided that it was in our best interest to try and live apart For awhile to give ourselves a little breathing room and to try and put our relationship where it should be. (This was more my idea). After 2-3 weeks of living separately, He then asked for a month long break after an arguement. I called him 4 days later apologizing because I had realized I was wrong, but he still insisted on a break. He told me to prepare for the worst because by day 4 he told me he was realizing he didn't want to be with me because of the arguments. I know I am not the easiest to deal with but I've done everything to make him happy. We've never had major issues. Just arguing about little things. I want to be with him but I'm not sure he wants to be with me. I just need any outside opinions on this..
Ruby65 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 Well, I can understand how you'd hit a do-or-die point at two years in. This seems to be a time where the honeymoon period is waning and decisions are made about either committing for good, or walking away. In general, breaks are ways to ease your way into a breakup. If you're living with someone and he wants to live separately at that point? I'd say your relationship is done for now. I've lived with someone a year and a half... reached a crisis point and broken up for many months.... then gone on to reconcile and get married. So, who's to say how this will play out? One thing I do suggest, though -- when someone wants a break or a breakup, you need to go along with it and go strict No Contact. Let them feel the full weight of their decision. Disappear from his world completely... and focus on YOU and YOUR life, YOUR healing. That's what matters now. Here's a guide that will help you: http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com 1
Cinnamonstix Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 I would call off the break and break up, personally. I think this is the best shot at it ever working out. You can't really feel the weight of NC if you're just on a break and know you'll talk again. It needs to be for real. There is a reason you don't believe in breaks - because they rarely work!
Author Butterfly228 Posted April 8, 2015 Author Posted April 8, 2015 This is the thing, he told me to prepare for the worst before the break. So I used this time as we aren't getting back together and I acted as if the relationship was over. I definitely felt the weight of the NC though.
hamster-girl Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 I am not the easiest to deal with but I've done everything to make him happy. And yet he's still not happy. If you've done your best for this guy, and it's still not good enough for him, it's probably best to move on. Find someone who thinks you're awesome and you won't have to "try" to make them happy - just being with them will make them happy. You can do much better
PegNosePete Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Well, sorry to say the relationship is over. He clearly does not want this "break" to simply be a temporary break. He wants to break up, but is doing this "break" thing to try to make it not as painful. Like peeling a scab off slowly rather than in one big rip. Personally I think the rip-it-off strategy is better and if I were you I'd tell him that.
Toodaloo Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Your relationship is over. He is just sugar coating it to try and make it easier as there has been so much drama in the past. Time to accept it and move on.
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