Author terlaughs Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 that makes sense.. I think Inwould be ready if I felt it were right.. I brought up seeing each other and his answer was "as soon as we can" and then "let's hang this week".. I just prefer more specifics and intention if I'm going to consider it a relationship.. I think I've resorted to maybe just having fun with him because it seems he's the one delaying things... In other words, I'm feeling it out still, but want to enjoy what it is.
Redhead14 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 ok thanks! I'm more of the traditional mindset.. I like to be pursued, who doesn't? His last message was that he was going to bed and said it was always nice to talk to me... But never suggested a hangout.. He has been very flirty, saying he couldn't wait to kiss me again.. Just assumed he'd initiate? "I like to be pursued" -- If this is the mindset you have, then stick with that consistently. Let him come to you. If you change "approaches" you will be confused all the time. He didn't contact you for a day and you were becoming insecure. Now is the time to manage that -- in the very beginning. Insecurity kills a dating scenario quickly. Be secure with your approach and be confident. And, keep your expectations low this early in the process. You want to be pursued. If you go to him, at least now, you'll be wondering if he would have contacted you on his own and questioning his sincerity/interest level. If he contacts you, even if its in a few days, you'll have a better sense.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 Just out of curiosity, how long were you with your ex BF that you just broke up with? I mean if you've been seeing this guy for three weeks, you essentially started seeing him a week after you broke up with your ex.
Author terlaughs Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 I actually posted about my ex on this forum.. He has, what seems to be, a very mild case of Aspergers, and we were together 3 months over the summer, and then only 3 months from December to March. He basically had zero emotion and could not open up.. our relationship ended with him saying he didn't know if he loved me because he doesn't know what love means... was rough for me, since I invested a lot in trying to understand him. I posted in here between those months and got slot of great responses of why I should walk away, but I tried again and was happy to... now I know for sure it wouldn't work... Basically, don't want a relationship with lack of intention after that... Trying to not sell myself short, bc previously I feel I did.
Erised Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 You make it clear you're back in town and excited to see him. He should set the date up from there. (If you don't want to just ask)
Author terlaughs Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 I did.. he knows I'm back.. So we shall see! I just like the heads up/consistency.. I have a busy schedule, as well, so I appreciate the heads up so I can plan. Also shows a man is interested in spending that time with you...
fitnessfan365 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 I actually posted about my ex on this forum.. He has, what seems to be, a very mild case of Aspergers, and we were together 3 months over the summer, and then only 3 months from December to March. He basically had zero emotion and could not open up.. our relationship ended with him saying he didn't know if he loved me because he doesn't know what love means... was rough for me, since I invested a lot in trying to understand him. I posted in here between those months and got slot of great responses of why I should walk away, but I tried again and was happy to... now I know for sure it wouldn't work... Basically, don't want a relationship with lack of intention after that... Trying to not sell myself short, bc previously I feel I did. Now it makes sense why you were able to start dating again pretty quickly. Aspergers and lack of emotion means that you never developed a super deep connection with the guy.
Author terlaughs Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 exactly! thank you! I think because that relationship was so "surface level," and this guy is more fun.. I'm enjoying it for just that, the fun.. if it goes beyond that, super, but I just want to make sure I'm being smart about it.. I've always believed guys go for what they want.. but I totally understand that today's datin world can and should be split.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 exactly! thank you! I think because that relationship was so "surface level," and this guy is more fun.. I'm enjoying it for just that, the fun.. if it goes beyond that, super, but I just want to make sure I'm being smart about it.. I've always believed guys go for what they want.. but I totally understand that today's datin world can and should be split. Well I have a traditional mindset and am an old school gentleman. So I am a guy that goes after what I want. That's one reason why my GF is so attracted to me. But, she initiates communication from time to time, insists on paying for dates from time to time, etc.. She does this just enough to let me know she is actively invested so it isn't one sided. Since the guy has basically done everything up to this point, reaching out with a simple text to let him know that you're thinking about him, goes a long way. He'll still take the hint and make plans hopefully, but at least you're not making it completely one sided.
Author terlaughs Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 thanks for all of your input! We made plans, but now he's saying he may have to work late..? Stuff like this I never really know what to think... because you never really know? He said he'd let me know... and then asked what I wanted to do? I don't see a point in hyping up a date unless we know it's definite? Maybe I'm too critical... thoughts?
Redhead14 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 thanks for all of your input! We made plans, but now he's saying he may have to work late..? Stuff like this I never really know what to think... because you never really know? He said he'd let me know... and then asked what I wanted to do? I don't see a point in hyping up a date unless we know it's definite? Maybe I'm too critical... thoughts? Tell him what you'd like to do and that if he doesn't confirm by a certain time, you will make other plans. Not in a snarky way Just something like, "I'd like it if we could ______. If you can't make it, that's ok but I'd like to know for sure by X time. I may ______ if we can't get together.
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