j_mysterio Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 I'd like to hear your guys' encounters after NC. What did you do wrong? What did you do right?
MovingOnIsHard Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 Depends what your definition or success or failure is. If by success/failure, do you mean you were able to bring to bring the person back to you or you were able to emotionally detach from that person and move on?
Smokeshow Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 I am currently in the process of reconciliation. Met up with my ex on Sat night after close to 6 months NC. We'll see how things progress but as of now it is somewhat of a success 2
Author j_mysterio Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 Smoke.... Was it awkward seeing the person again? Can you feel love between you two still or do you feel like friends?
spiritofjosh Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 From experience NC for me has done no harm. It made me not look desperate and have time to think and clear my head and same goes for the other involved. I've gone NC with all of my exes and some have come back after the "breakup freedom" high backed off. Some other exes have made contact but never got back together. Currently my now ex and I have been broken up for 2 weeks and I went NC but we have spoken 2 or 3 times in between and I am now refusing (with not much difficulty) not to text her, although out of all my exes this one is one I hope comes back. We dated 6 months. I dated one girl for 2 months, we broke up and I went NC and only heard from her once after that bc I ran into her. Nothing came of it and I didn't care. NC does help heal.
Author j_mysterio Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 Also, its hard not to think they're ignoring you because youre ignoring them. Cause youre both too hard headed. NC... Dammit.. NC
Smokeshow Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 Smoke.... Was it awkward seeing the person again? Can you feel love between you two still or do you feel like friends? To be honest with you there was no awkwardness at all and all we felt was love between us, she even mentioned it to me. She honestly thought it would be a quick night but as soon as she saw me at her front door she had a smile from ear to ear 1
Author j_mysterio Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 That's amazing dude... Happy for you. Does the fact she may have been with other men bother you? Eventually down the road do you think that will be brought up? Its all about maturity but we all have out moments of weakness.
Author j_mysterio Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 I'm just trying to get perspective... And how other people work... Since sometimes I feel like a self destructive idiot... Even when in a relationship or single.
Smokeshow Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 That's amazing dude... Happy for you. Does the fact she may have been with other men bother you? Eventually down the road do you think that will be brought up? Its all about maturity but we all have out moments of weakness. She went on a couple of dates but told me she didn't sleep with them. TBH we weren't together so she was free to do what ever she wanted so there would be no reason to lie to me.
BlackbirdSong Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 I've gone NC in the past and they never came back. Or they did come back when it was easy too late. I have a habit of breaking NC and it sucks.
Author j_mysterio Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 QUIT breaking NC. Its not NC if you contact. I'm not breaking it... I love this girl too much to not do my best with NC. I actually am surprised with my self control... Having this forum has helped a lot. Especially when you hear people talking about how BAD they feel after breaking NC and how it didn't solve anything... Just made them feel worse.
Author j_mysterio Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 I hear that Smoke... Thanks for your input. When did you ask her if she slept with anyone? Or did she just bring it up? Thatd be a touchy subject for sure.
LYNNLH Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 I am still in NC..for the past 1 month plus ( stopped counting the days).. I am proud to say that I have been successfully maintaining it and nothing in the world will make me break it. He is blocked on everything and he will never able to contact me anymore but actually, that is not what matters most to me. What matters most is that I have built a shield around myself and that this person is totally out of my life. NC liberates me... 2
Smokeshow Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 I hear that Smoke... Thanks for your input. When did you ask her if she slept with anyone? Or did she just bring it up? Thatd be a touchy subject for sure. She brought up the subject because she wanted to know who I had been seeing during our BU. It was more her curiosity about me than it was me about her that started it all
Twigyy Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 It wouldn't matter if they come back or not when doing NC. At one point you'll start to forget about it and start not to care anymore. I've broken NC three days ago. That night I felt horrible, but now I feel totally different from my first NC. I don't think about her as often, maybe only once a day, I don't check my phone for her messages, I don't stalk anymore. If she wants to come back, great. If not, I'm still happy with my own life. 1
Author j_mysterio Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 Youre bsing yourself. Especially at first if you say during NC you shouldn't care. Maybe you shouldn't... But most of the time the fact is you do. I'm just trying to be realistic here. Not all self righteous "here I go again on my own... Traveling down the only road I've ever known"
Author j_mysterio Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 If that were true... This site wouldn't exist
ZiggyZoo Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 Well, I can say that today is the first day that I don't miss my ex or want him back in even the slightest little bit. I'm even ok with thinking about him with someone else. I'm almost exactly 4 months post-dumping and broke NC once, about 2 months in. I called him and left a message, didn't talk to him. I couldn't be happier, it was hell.at first, but now I'm in a much better place. 1
Author j_mysterio Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 Annnd... Do you love your ex? I know you're over him... But do you love him? Or was it just getting used to not having him around that hurt the most? Or loving him but know you can't be together.
hunk Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 Have had 4 serious relationships and NC healed me after each one without fail. All took varying lengths of time, with the longest being 3 (three) years(!!!!!!), shortest being about 3 months of ZERO contact. NC has not once brought an ex back however. Haven't heard from a single one of my exes ever again, which is kind of sad when I think about it ... oh well 2
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