singlelife Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 It seems emotional is better than physical. Women is this correct?
xxoo Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 I like a man to be a man: physical. But he also needs some emotional aspect. Maybe 75/25 to my 25/75. 2
fitnessfan365 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 Don't under estimate a woman's need for physical attraction and sexual satisfaction. Women are people too and it's not like they're emotional junkies watching Rom-com's 24-7. Granted, they hide their physical desires better than men do, but they're important nonetheless. My GF begging me to bed her constantly has nothing to do with my personality. Just saying.. However, the saying "Seduce a woman's mind and her body will follow" exists for a reason. In the end, if you can't connect with a woman on emotional and intellectual levels, there won't be any long term compatibility. Since you spend a lot more time out of the bedroom with a woman, that's ultimately what's most important. 3
carhill Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 IME, being married, it's more being in touch with and sensitive to *her* emotions. However, I believe this dynamic is attraction-dependent, where stronger attraction allows more wiggle room for a man to be in touch with and expressive of his own emotions. As attraction moves down the scale, this gets more annoying. 1
katiegrl Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 It seems emotional is better than physical. Women is this correct? For me both the physical and emotional must co-exist simultaneously....or nothing's gonna happen. Meaning, I can't have one without the other. Never have... But when both the physical and emotional energy is there..working in conjunction with each other? Wowza!!! It's hot! That's why I could never enjoy FWB.... I think I am somewhat of an anomoly though..in this regard anyway. 4
Popsicle Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 I like a man to be a man: physical. But he also needs some emotional aspect. Maybe 75/25 to my 25/75. I like this description. It fits my desire.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 For me both the physical and emotional must co-exist simultaneously....or nothing's gonna happen. Meaning, I can't have one without the other. Never have... But when both the physical and emotional energy is there..working in conjunction with each other? Wowza!!! It's hot! That's why I could never enjoy FWB.... I think I am somewhat of an anomoly though..in this regard anyway. That's why Katie's awesome. A realist to her core. I've always respected women that keep it real when it comes to needing emotional fulfillment and sexual desire. Trying to pretend attraction/sex doesn't matter is like saying you don't need oxygen to breathe. Why deny the obvious? Granted, some guys might take it as a cue to think a woman is easy. So from that aspect I can understand downplaying it a bit. But still, when some women try to make out men as being the only gender that care about the visual and the bedroom is BS. 2
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 Any fool can perform the physical, that's not what separates you from other men. But as men, you naturally think first about the physical and think that women feel the same way(or like a lot of men simply don't care)..it's easy for guys to get lost in the lustful aspects of the physical and sexual attraction of it all. But for many women, that's a step by step process, and jumping to that area (unless they're out on the night looking to whore it up) you're not going to compel many women with just the physical. Luckily for me this is not something I've got to fake or do much to delve into...the emotional aspect of things. I connect with women first through conversation and sharing thoughts/feeling..I know, it's kinda "gay", but once you make that emotional, chemistry and psychologically connection everything else comes so much easier and more natural...at least for me. Lots of people lead first and only with the physical, and I've been there a few times myself where I've given in a try...but it just feels a bit void for me, I'm more of a cerebral kinda guy and I think that's what works for me...although I could've been the guy just going out to try and get laid with physical, that can work on the right women but not usually the type I'm interested in. 4
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 My sister said that her Ex was highly emotional and it was a huge turn off lol. I think Men need to keep a lid on their emotions to a degree, you can't be more emotional than a Woman or they're going to question your masculinity.
Buddhist Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 (edited) Not for me no. Leave my emotions the hell alone thank you very much. I just want a man who doesn't have his head up his backside. Aka....aware enough to know the universe does not revolve around him, willing to think of someone other than himself and act accordingly when the circumstances require it. Warm-fuzzy-soulmatey-feelz....meh you can keep those. BTW, I don't think the OP was talking about a man emoting as such. More in his capacity to form deep emotional connections with women. Which has bugger all to do with emoting and more to do with being less obsessed with the physical aspects of life. Sure I'd like a deep guy, but I don't need to be attached to him emotionally to enjoy that. In fact, I rather I wasn't. Edited April 6, 2015 by Buddhist
katiegrl Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 That's why Katie's awesome. A realist to her core. I've always respected women that keep it real when it comes to needing emotional fulfillment and sexual desire. Trying to pretend attraction/sex doesn't matter is like saying you don't need oxygen to breathe. Why deny the obvious? Granted, some guys might take it as a cue to think a woman is easy. So from that aspect I can understand downplaying it a bit. But still, when some women try to make out men as being the only gender that care about the visual and the bedroom is BS. Thanks fitnessfan!!! Wow, I must say I did NOT expect that response from you at all! I thought you might want to argue with me about why I am not able to simply enjoy some hot sex...simply for the sexual pleasure. Many women can...and do...that's what FWBs and FBs are for! I am just not one of them...
kissmybooty Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 Any fool can perform the physical, that's not what separates you from other men. But as men, you naturally think first about the physical and think that women feel the same way(or like a lot of men simply don't care)..it's easy for guys to get lost in the lustful aspects of the physical and sexual attraction of it all. But for many women, that's a step by step process, and jumping to that area (unless they're out on the night looking to whore it up) you're not going to compel many women with just the physical. Luckily for me this is not something I've got to fake or do much to delve into...the emotional aspect of things. I connect with women first through conversation and sharing thoughts/feeling..I know, it's kinda "gay", but once you make that emotional, chemistry and psychologically connection everything else comes so much easier and more natural...at least for me. Lots of people lead first and only with the physical, and I've been there a few times myself where I've given in a try...but it just feels a bit void for me, I'm more of a cerebral kinda guy and I think that's what works for me...although I could've been the guy just going out to try and get laid with physical, that can work on the right women but not usually the type I'm interested in. Omg my kinda guy ... Actually exists!!!! Just knowing there's one of my type out there gives me hope that there might be more of them, yes far and between.
Versacehottie Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 My sister said that her Ex was highly emotional and it was a huge turn off lol. I think Men need to keep a lid on their emotions to a degree, you can't be more emotional than a Woman or they're going to question your masculinity. I agree with this, at least for my preference. I think if I understood it right the OP meant that guys need to try to connect with our emotional side or recognize it in order to make an impact. And I would agree with that as well. Nothing better than a guy who is not overly emotional but a steady presence recognizing and finding little ways to connect with a girls emotional side. It displays how much they care for you but are still who they are. Love it. And of course physical matters a ton but for a lot of women, the emotional and physical are intertwined. Physical attraction exists or is intensified via a better emotional connection than just average. Don't underestimate. And of course, don't discount the physical either.
katiegrl Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 Not for me no. Leave my emotions the hell alone thank you very much. I just want a man who doesn't have his head up his backside. Aka....aware enough to know the universe does not revolve around him, willing to think of someone other than himself and act accordingly when the circumstances require it. Warm-fuzzy-soulmatey-feelz....meh you can keep those. BTW, I don't think the OP was talking about a man emoting as such. More in his capacity to form deep emotional connections with women. Which has bugger all to do with emoting and more to do with being less obsessed with the physical aspects of life. Sure I'd like a deep guy, but I don't need to be attached to him emotionally to enjoy that. In fact, I rather I wasn't. Interestingly, even though I am highly emotional, I can't stand all that "warm-fuzzy-soulmatey-feelz" stuff either! I am talking about emotional ...and physical ENERGY. Both my boyfriend and I ... AND our relationship ... possess oodles of it!! Which works for us...keeps it hot and exciting.. even after five years!
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 I agree with this, at least for my preference. I think if I understood it right the OP meant that guys need to try to connect with our emotional side or recognize it in order to make an impact. And I would agree with that as well. Nothing better than a guy who is not overly emotional but a steady presence recognizing and finding little ways to connect with a girls emotional side. It displays how much they care for you but are still who they are. Love it. And of course physical matters a ton but for a lot of women, the emotional and physical are intertwined. Physical attraction exists or is intensified via a better emotional connection than just average. Don't underestimate. And of course, don't discount the physical either. I don't think either sex should be an emotional wreck, but you've got to be open with your emotions to establish a real and genuine connection with someone, and if you can do that you can get far with people not just romantic relationships, it's how you connect on a genuine level...somethings that is deeper than just the superficiality of normal generic conversation. Some people are fine just being with someone new, relying on sparks or whatever other trickery to lead the you down the way, waiting for the rest to come miles and years down the road...some people have the lowest expectations of being with another human being, their presence alone is enough, they make up the rest in their own head. Wearing your heart on your sleeve is not a good idea in the dating world, but being comfortable with yourself and your own emotional capacity/state is something different. I definitely won't share my life story or share my deepest darkest secrets, in fact I avoid things that are too personal and not very tactful depending on the stage and comfort level of the interaction in terms of getting to know someone, basically If I don't know you, I'm not getting too emotional But there's a difference between being emotional and overly expressive because you are vulnerable and exposed looking for acceptance or comfort, or just being comfortable and confident in the way that you feel and understanding who you are, and not feeling like it's something to be ashamed of. The reason I can be so emotional and open at a drop of a hat is because I'm secure in how I feel, I'm not embarrassed, or feel emasculated or vulnerable...you can't say something that will make me feel like a fool for sharing it, because I'm sharing it because I'm comfortable with it within myself to begin with, the decision was already made and emotional baseline established, not because it's dependent on whether you accept or not. Some people are out there looking for someone "special" to connect with them emotionally, mentally and physically...but it's really got to be you who establishes a baseline within yourself, that's what actually allows you to connect with the right person, instead of waiting for someone to reach out to you and get through those walls, and the what people do is wait for that and when they feel that one person does (which is materialized in their own heads) that's when they drop the guard...but I definitely don't sit back and wait for the right woman to come to me to do that... I have an emotionally, psychological and physical expectation and that comes from within myself and that's what I reflect outwards and look for someone compatible to that. The physical and sexual aspect is just as important, but it's more like the icing on the cake than the cake itself, it's what makes it sweat and delicious but you've got to have the substance there for it to be completely satisfying (not a cake guy btw, It's just an analogy). I'm a very physical, sexual and affectionate guy...but my self-control is miles above the average guys, and I don't represent myself that way, it's something I share after the other criteria has been met. 1
GemmaUK Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 For me both the physical and emotional must co-exist simultaneously....or nothing's gonna happen. Meaning, I can't have one without the other. Never have... But when both the physical and emotional energy is there..working in conjunction with each other? Wowza!!! It's hot! That's why I could never enjoy FWB.... I think I am somewhat of an anomoly though..in this regard anyway. It's exactly the same for me! Thinking about this subject in terms of a long term RS/marriage where sex has significantly decreased (not something which I have yet experienced in a LTR) the lack of sex or infrequency of it is usually down to an emotional disconnect than for any other reason. 1
Mrin Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 I'm a dude but here is my two cents. What women want out of relationships is a strong, lasting connection with the other person. That connection needs to look like a spectrum. It can't just be all physical. Or romantic. Or material. Or intellectual. Or emotional. The broader the spectrum, the better. A relationship is like a symphony. You have the kettle drums of sexuality. You have the oboe of vulnerability, you have the strings of romance and the woodwinds of thought. The crashing cymbals of chemistry and strength and structure of the brass. Each section, each piece has a role and helps make the whole greater than the sum of its parts. And her access to that symphony, how she experiences it is through emotion. So yes, you're damn straight women want men who can touch their emotions. But that doesn't mean a man needs to be some emotional shrieking violet. Rather, a man just needs to be emotionally present. Accessible. Not some blank wall devoid of emotion. But relatable. Able to relate to her emotions as well as being able to relate his in a productive and open manner. To be Knowable. In the female energetic sense of the word. It is all good stuff. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 The biggest mistake men make is assume that women think like men. That's why you have all the shirtless and d^ick pics. Having said that though, men that are too emotional and "soft" are a turn off too, just too much feminine energy. I have observed that men that are more celebral tend to have more physically feminine features and lower sex drive (which I am not attracted to).
GemmaUK Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 The biggest mistake men make is assume that women think like men. That's why you have all the shirtless and d^ick pics. Having said that though, men that are too emotional and "soft" are a turn off too, just too much feminine energy. I agree with this. I have observed that men that are more celebral tend to have more physically feminine features and lower sex drive (which I am not attracted to). But can't agree with this at all. I could only use the term 'a few men' if I were to write that statement. Plus I would have to say that there are also many much less cerebral men who are like this also. In other words cerebral men come in all shapes, sizes and sex drives. 1
katiegrl Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 (edited) It's exactly the same for me! Thinking about this subject in terms of a long term RS/marriage where sex has significantly decreased (not something which I have yet experienced in a LTR) the lack of sex or infrequency of it is usually down to an emotional disconnect than for any other reason. ^^ Apparently, I am not such an anomaly after all!! :) Edited April 6, 2015 by katiegrl
Erised Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 I need to be mentally stimulated and that all setfor any sex to be enjoyable. A guy with a low sex drive or talking about making love or whatever is a turn off but I don't see that as what OP is referring to... If it is then it's wrong for me anyhow. I really love sex. But attraction is so much more mental than physical for me.
Natalie8 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 Are you asking if women want guys who can be in touch with their own emotions or touch the girl's emotions : can have conversations about feelings? Both are important, to me at least. And also, being physical and emotional are not mutually exclusive. I have met guys who were self aware, capable of talking about feelings, and sexually confident. Thats a good combo especially if they can relate intellectualy, plus have good banter. Being emotional doesnt mean crying at romantic movies or being soppy constantly. But rather having the courage to show vulnarabilities. I have met guys who couldnt express any negative emotion other than anger. I think thats sad. Whats even more sad is that there are guys who think that having sexual needs is a male privilage. For them a girl having a sexual side to her is a sl**.
Recommended Posts