Nsharpy Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 Well i dont even know where to start to be honest...... I started dating this girl about 3 months ago now, weve gone on 5 so far, we talk every day until the early hours of the morning, shes told her parents pretty much everything about me, literally when i met her parents and her sister they all knew my whole life story, we have movie nights until 3 am holding each others hands and cuddling and acting all cuddly, they all seems like signs shes attracted to me so yeah i went in for a kiss and we kissed. Then the next day she said she doesnt see me more than just a friend right now, shes sorry for giving mixed signals etc... I actually really like her and i think she does like me in that way too, i think shes just afraid as shes never been in a relationship before and shes at uni, so im assuming commitment could be scary for her and putting her off of it, shes also a really shy girl so that could be a factor aswell.. How should i proceed ?
Vintage79 Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 Ummm - dude you're her friend, not a romantic interest. Proceed as a friend would treat someone if you want a friend, as a romantic partner if you want to be thought of as creepy and want to try to get your first restraining order. If there was ever interest, you moved way too slow and that opportunity is gone - you're better off leveraging her for access to her single friends at this point, or simply looking elsewhere. You could try no contact, but unless there is residial romantic interest (from her towards you), it will only serve to sever your potential platonic friendship with her.
Frank2thepoint Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 You proceed by respecting her decision, leave her alone, and move on. It's unfortunate the girl got scared, and lead you on for three months, but it's good that she told you this. There's nothing you can do, except go no contact. Delete all her contact information, chalk it up as an experience, and heal. Dating sucks sometimes. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 Actually the signals are pretty clear. You only saw her five times in three months. If a woman is romantically interested, she actually wants to spend time with you. BTW - When a woman says that she sees you as a friend, she doesn't like you in the same way that you do her. She is telling you straight out she wants nothing more than friendship. 1
Author Nsharpy Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 Actually the signals are pretty clear. You only saw her five times in three months. If a woman is romantically interested, she actually wants to spend time with you. BTW - When a woman says that she sees you as a friend, she doesn't like you in the same way that you do her. She is telling you straight out she wants nothing more than friendship. We hadnt only seen each other 5 times in three, months, just 5 dates .. i should have made it clearer i categories going out and doing stuff as a date, but meeting up and just chilling i didn't include
fitnessfan365 Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 (edited) We hadnt only seen each other 5 times in three, months, just 5 dates .. i should have made it clearer i categories going out and doing stuff as a date, but meeting up and just chilling i didn't include Ah man.. No wonder you got friend zoned. The way that it comes off is that you only tried to kiss her, flirt, and be romantic 5x over the course of three months. Then any other time you two got together, you acted platonic because you didn't see it as a "date". A "date" is any occasion when a man and a woman get together and enjoy each others' company regardless of the activity. So what you should've done was have a "date" mindset EVERY time you two got together. Also, you texting non-stop with her all the time added to her seeing you as a friend. When a man and woman are lovers, they use the phone to communicate a bit. Exchange a few texts here and there or a brief phone call, etc. But communicating on the phone almost always leads to setting up the next date. Only friends talk endlessly on the phone. So next time you meet a woman that you like, do this. Treat EVERY occasion you two spend time together as a date no matter what you're doing. Then cut way back on the texting, and mainly use the phone to plan dates. Edited April 5, 2015 by fitnessfan365
DoesntGetIt Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 In this case I agree with FitnessFan 100%. Women need you to be a bit more aggressive then 5 kind of romantic things over 3 months. I was on a date with a woman where we both had been doing OLD and were sharing stories of how annoying it is. She specifically mentioned a guy who by the end of the third date, had only touched her hair. No other physical contact, no kissing, nothing. At that point she said bye and gave up on him. She has been clear with you. There is nothing for you to do now. Your choice is to continue on as her friend, or move on from her completely if you can't handle being just friends. Women don't say they see you just as a friend as any kind of trick or test, it is a nice way of saying there is no romantic interest there.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 In this case I agree with FitnessFan 100%. Women need you to be a bit more aggressive then 5 kind of romantic things over 3 months. I was on a date with a woman where we both had been doing OLD and were sharing stories of how annoying it is. She specifically mentioned a guy who by the end of the third date, had only touched her hair. No other physical contact, no kissing, nothing. At that point she said bye and gave up on him. . Hahahaha.. That's hilarious man. Don't get me wrong. I love me some long hair to pull. But after three dates, and all he did was touch her hair, makes it sound like he has a fetish for playing with dolls or something.
Gary S Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 If you are not seeing her at least once a week, it's not going anywhere. You should have been in a relationship with her by now if it were ever going to happen. Time to find a woman who is actually into you.
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