pseu do nym Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 Hello. I'm a male and have a somewhat simple question about dating etiquette. I'm 30 years old but don't have a lot of experience dating because I spent 10 years in a long term relationship. I've been doing the online dating thing and have noticed a particular trend. It seems like most of the time I have to initiate the conversation via the phone. I will send a text message to a woman. She normally replies within a reasonable period of time so I'm not worried about being ignored. However, the thing that kind of gets to me is it's pretty rare that she texts me first (e.g. out of nowhere and not a reply to a previous text). Is this normal? Am I expected to initiate most conversations because I'm the male? This pertains to starting a relationship (1 month or less). Thanks in advance for any input. Link to post Share on other sites
40 Fonzarelli Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 Yeah it's definitely the man that should initiate. Although it's nice when she does occasionally. As long as she keeps the conversation going then all is well. My suggestion when it comes to texting is go for the meet up asap. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pseu do nym Posted April 5, 2015 Author Share Posted April 5, 2015 Yeah it's definitely the man that should initiate. Although it's nice when she does occasionally. As long as she keeps the conversation going then all is well. My suggestion when it comes to texting is go for the meet up asap. Thanks for the advice! Does this apply even if we've had previous conversations by text? I worry a bit about seeming "needy" if it seems I always have to initiate. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 Women need time to get emotionally invested. So usually in the first month, you're reaching out once a week to plan a date. Then as she likes you more, she won't want to wait an entire week to see you again. So she'll text as an excuse to put herself in your orbit. It may be something as simple as asking how your day is going or texting you to say she had fun on the last date, etc.. Then you simply take the hint and ask her when she wants to get together again. After that date frequency increases and so does her communication frequency. As long as you continue to plan more dates as she reaches out, you'll be good. Where guys get into trouble is chatting endlessly with her instead of just being direct and making plans. Then she gets bored. Link to post Share on other sites
40 Fonzarelli Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 Thanks for the advice! Does this apply even if we've had previous conversations by text? I worry a bit about seeming "needy" if it seems I always have to initiate. You won't come across needy unless you are texting her all the time, or before she even responds. Leave some time between conversations so she'll wonder what you are up to or why you aren't texting her. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 Call her and set up a date. Show up and chat in person. Rinse and repeat as appropriate. Early on, keep texting to a minimum, but be consistent. Yeah, I know 30yo's are buried in their phones. Still, moderation in everything. Plenty of time for sitting across from each other as old married folks texting each other instead of talking. I've seen it! Link to post Share on other sites
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