sparkle222 Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 This is not a love story: I dated someone for a year two years ago. I ended it when it went long-distance for a year (we both went to study abroad unis; we'd planned this before we met/got into a r/s). I remember that the reason why I ended it was very, very irrational, but that there were a lot of immature problems in our relationship (tbh I just don't think I was ready for one and was so worried it would go wrong that in the end it did). In any case, he tried quite a lot of times to get back together, but I just went cold and mean because I guess he seemed 'pathetic' (I wasn't nice!) and also because I was pathetic myself and couldn't handle long-distance and visiting; in the end he gave up and went out with someone else he'd met at his uni. That (of course) was when I realised what I'd done, and I think he was well pleased to see how upset I was; he messed me around and told me he still had feelings for about three months while he was seeing her. In the end they broke up, (because of me he said); he then said he needed time before we could start seeing each other again, but at this point I'd had enough and lost it at him; he told me he couldn't help liking two girls at once and went back to dating her and told me it was both a rational decision (we'd both changed over that year) and an emotional one (he hadn't seen me in a while and so had developed feelings for her). Now of course we're back at the same uni and it's horribly, horribly awkward and unpleasant; he keeps saying that he wants to be friends but makes zero effort (and has certain boundaries, e.g. he doesn't want me in his dorm, and he blocked my number when I annoyed him too much over text); however, he says he wants me to contact him and whenever I have something in my life to vent about he'll often cuddle or hug me to the point where frankly it seems weird. I've always assumed he's taken although I recently I heard he and his gf had split up (unfortunately this was also--coincidentally--when I lost it at him over text). I don't think they are (still) split up because I saw him the other day and he offered one of his hugs (again) and when I pointed out how weird this all is he just referred to the 'sad situation' and how he's not a nice guy and how no one told him life would be this way (which he's been doing throughout the year). He is quite touchy-feely so my guess is he still 'cares' about me but is 'in love' with someone else. Can someone explain what on EARTH he's playing at? Part of me will always wonder if he's taken/if he wants to go out again, but I'm not only hurt but also too afraid to ask in case he just shoots me down again (and thinks I'm crazy). I know starting afresh could be just the right thing to do but I really like(d) him and can't really let him go, esp when he's so close nearby (and knowing that no new person I meet would really be 'better', just different). I just want to understand what's going on in his head?!
Ruby65 Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 Yes... OF COURSE... he's just messing with you! Someone who really loves you doesn't treat you this way. What is he playing at? He's flattered by your interest and probably wants to keep you around as a Plan B. Please move on. You deserve so much better!
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