Mondmellonw Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 I told him that to me a "break" is an excuse, that it wasn't necessary to delay things that way. I told him that there was no middle ground with me. Either he wants me or not. I asked him if he loved me and he said "yes, I do, but sometimes that is not enough". after a long conversation, he said that he feels he puts more effort into having a good time than me. He said that I seem to be distant when we are together. And I know it. I have been dealing with my family not wanting me to stay with him and many other stuff, but he is taking my 2mood" very personally, even when I insist on that I really want to be with him. I have the feeling that now everything will go to hell...
Veron123 Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 (edited) Looks like he's confused. So are you. Why don't you think over it again. Reconsider your relationship with him and you will know what you want. Edited April 5, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author Mondmellonw Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 (edited) Looks like he's confused. So are you. Why don't you think over it again. Reconsider your relationship with him and you will know what you want. I feel very sad. I really want to be with him, but I definitely don't want to stay if he is just not that motivated anymore. Edited April 5, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author Mondmellonw Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 What should I do? I felt terrible about that and I don't want to act all clingy now that he said that but I don't really know what he needs, if he doens't tell me how can I know?
Paterlany Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 I really think he`s telling you it is over. Not want you want to hear. and i am sorry. He want to put time into having a good time. Maybe you will have to try to move on. I know it can be hard not to be clingy with such strong feeling. But you must try Mondmellonw Hugs
Author Mondmellonw Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 I really think he`s telling you it is over. Not want you want to hear. and i am sorry. He want to put time into having a good time. Maybe you will have to try to move on. I know it can be hard not to be clingy with such strong feeling. But you must try Mondmellonw Hugs But then why he agreed on staying and trying to make things work? Is he just a coward?
Paterlany Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 Maybe but none of us can know. If you think you can make it work and feel happy doing it, then yes a chance. But it has to be both of you equally. 1
NC-Thomas Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 He is breaking up with you. But he is just putting you down slowly. Seen it happen 100 times before. If you want any chance to ever be with him again, you act like a ghost and go total-NC. You don't contact him ever! If you stick around someone that is unsure of his love for you, you will only push him away even more. And ask yourself: do I deserve someone that only loves me for 25% ? Don't waste your time on someone that doesn't want you. Plenty of other men around!
Author Mondmellonw Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 Maybe but none of us can know. If you think you can make it work and feel happy doing it, then yes a chance. But it has to be both of you equally. He said that it was ok to try. But I'm guessing he isn't convinced... I reallly can't tell either.
Author Mondmellonw Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 He is breaking up with you. But he is just putting you down slowly. Seen it happen 100 times before. If you want any chance to ever be with him again, you act like a ghost and go total-NC. You don't contact him ever! If you stick around someone that is unsure of his love for you, you will only push him away even more. And ask yourself: do I deserve someone that only loves me for 25% ? Don't waste your time on someone that doesn't want you. Plenty of other men around! Well, I get it...., but I asked him to make a full choice and he didn't do it... So that is why am still acting as if we are still together, cause we are, we are not even on the so called break... But I don't know.
NC-Thomas Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 Well, I get it...., but I asked him to make a full choice and he didn't do it... So that is why am still acting as if we are still together, cause we are, we are not even on the so called break... But I don't know. Because he is too wimpy to cut the cord, possibly trying to keep you as a backup option in case he regrets his "full blown decision". Do you really want to be around someone that can pull the plug any second? Doesnt love you? Isn't sure? NO. So either you cut the cord or he will.... after you have been tailing him for a month or so. Have some self-respect and dump him. He's not worth your love. You are obviously more invested then he is in the current moment. Draw your conclusions based on that fact and save yourself a lot of trouble by being the first to cut it. That will make him think. It will sure as hell, turn the tables... 1
Author Mondmellonw Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 Because he is too wimpy to cut the cord, possibly trying to keep you as a backup option in case he regrets his "full blown decision". Do you really want to be around someone that can pull the plug any second? Doesnt love you? Isn't sure? NO. So either you cut the cord or he will.... after you have been tailing him for a month or so. Have some self-respect and dump him. He's not worth your love. You are obviously more invested then he is in the current moment. Draw your conclusions based on that fact and save yourself a lot of trouble by being the first to cut it. That will make him think. It will sure as hell, turn the tables... Why are you so sure about it? Do guys always think this way when they mention this "break" crap?
NC-Thomas Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 Why are you so sure about it? Do guys always think this way when they mention this "break" crap? Because it's true. Time will tell you. I quote some post I found before: First off, ignore all these mofos who say that a break is a healthy thing for a relationship. A break is not a sign that things are going well. After all, if they are really into you, why would they need "time off" from you? If you really like someone, you can't get enough of them. Taking a break from a relationship that is having trouble is much akin to taking a week off from a job you don't enjoy. When you are gone, you forget your troubles, enjoy the freedom, and then you assume that when you get back, things will feel differently. So the vacation ends, you get back into the grind, and maybe things are more tolerable again, and maybe you feel like you need another week. In this case, the vacation didn't fix anything. In that case, it's time to start looking for a new job. As far as relationships go, they should be a source of joy, intimacy, romance, companionship, and possibly sex. It's something that, when done in a healthy manner, can greatly enhance your life. It can add a spring to your step, it can help you sleep better at night, it can help you feel more ready to meet your day, and there are numerous, measurable benefits to the whole thing. that is, of course, if someone has their heart in a relationship. Now, there are some reasons why someone would want a break from a relationship. Those include just wanting to be single for a while, wanting to explore "other options", exploring bi-curiosity, having a tryst with someone whose finally giving you the attention you wanted from them while you were single, or maybe wanting to have a fling with an ex whose coming into town to visit. There are other reasons, but they all center around wanting to be "temporarily single". Wanting to be single so he can focus on cutting up meat is not a likely story. One thing i have learned is that "break" is the first half of "break up". It's essentially a trial breakup. Just one where he has a foot in the door still. That means he gets to go out do whatever the heck he feels he either wants or needs to do. He can have his fun, handle his business and then when it's done and over with, assuming "something better" hasn't come along, there you are, sitting on a shelf, waiting for him to waltz back and announce he's "yours again", just like that. That's a bit more like taking a leave of absence from a job to accept a new position at another company. if it doesn't work out, a phone call and some paperwork is all that's needed and you can just go back. But that's business, not a romance. The thing you need to ask yourself is why he wants to be away from you? Obviously, if there is some other girl, he's not going to tell you. Why should he, when it'd be none of your business while on a break. Do you really believe it's his budding career that's keeping him too busy to have you in his mind? Is he really exhausted at the end of the day, to the point where he can't function? I say if he doesn't want to be with you, don't allow him that shoe-in situation. Don't put your life on hold like that. Your feelings aren't some mp3 that you can pause, then hit play when he's back in the picture. Your still going to miss him, want to be with him, or just want to move on, but a break might just keep your hopes up a little too long. What it comes down to is that you aren't fine with a break. If you were, you wouldn't have posted this question. So don't do it. Plain and simple. It's not healthy. It's a "vacation mindset". Relationships can't be rebooted, so don't bother with the trouble. I know, because i've tried it. If he wants to be single, so be it. Just let him know that if he walks away from you now, there is no guarantee you will be there once he decides to come strolling back into your life. You are a person, not a convenience. Now if you are not convinced, search Loveshack or Google, because these kind of topics have been around for ages and your situation is quite common. 1
Author Mondmellonw Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 This: ay if he doesn't want to be with you, don't allow him that shoe-in situation. Don't put your life on hold like that. Your feelings aren't some mp3 that you can pause, then hit play when he's back in the picture. Your still going to miss him, want to be with him, or just want to move on, but a break might just keep your hopes up a little too long. What it comes down to is that you aren't fine with a break. If you were, you wouldn't have posted this question. So don't do it. Plain and simple. It's not healthy. It's a "vacation mindset". Relationships can't be rebooted, so don't bother with the trouble. I know, because i've tried it. If he wants to be single, so be it. Just let him know that if he walks away from you now, there is no guarantee you will be there once he decides to come strolling back into your life. You are a person, not a convenience. So, I told him I wasn't going to "take a break" and that I do not believe in those excuses. That, either he wants to stay and try to make things work, or he wants out. And he decided to stay. However, I understand your point. Even the fact that he bring that up ("break") makes me feel uneasy. :/ So maybe I will have to be the one to go away, I'm not sure. 1
NC-Thomas Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 This: ay if he doesn't want to be with you, don't allow him that shoe-in situation. Don't put your life on hold like that. Your feelings aren't some mp3 that you can pause, then hit play when he's back in the picture. Your still going to miss him, want to be with him, or just want to move on, but a break might just keep your hopes up a little too long. What it comes down to is that you aren't fine with a break. If you were, you wouldn't have posted this question. So don't do it. Plain and simple. It's not healthy. It's a "vacation mindset". Relationships can't be rebooted, so don't bother with the trouble. I know, because i've tried it. If he wants to be single, so be it. Just let him know that if he walks away from you now, there is no guarantee you will be there once he decides to come strolling back into your life. You are a person, not a convenience. So, I told him I wasn't going to "take a break" and that I do not believe in those excuses. That, either he wants to stay and try to make things work, or he wants out. And he decided to stay. However, I understand your point. Even the fact that he bring that up ("break") makes me feel uneasy. :/ So maybe I will have to be the one to go away, I'm not sure. Staying is a safe option for him, leaving with the possibility it never working again is certainly not a safe option for him. You better have a very good conversation with him and tell him that either its all or nothing. I am sure you are an intelligent girl and that knows how to read his body-language. If he is still whishy-washy and all over the place, then you know you have to bail. Love is without doubt. When a person really want to be with you, you KNOW. Let us know what happened. 1
AIJ Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 My ex wanted to take a break. She said 'I don't think a boyfriend is what I need at this point in my life'. Two days later, we were back on the right track. The next day, she broke up with me. A week later, she has a new boyfriend. Don't buy in to that break bull****. I told my now ex she can shove it, we're either together or we're not. She convinced me she wanted to be with me, aaaaaaaaaaaand then broke up with me a day later. Evil. If they're unsure on whether or not they want to be with you, just let them go. The sooner you do, the sooner you can heal, and you'll save face too. 2
Author Mondmellonw Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 My ex wanted to take a break. She said 'I don't think a boyfriend is what I need at this point in my life'. Two days later, we were back on the right track. The next day, she broke up with me. A week later, she has a new boyfriend. Don't buy in to that break bull****. I told my now ex she can shove it, we're either together or we're not. She convinced me she wanted to be with me, aaaaaaaaaaaand then broke up with me a day later. Evil. If they're unsure on whether or not they want to be with you, just let them go. The sooner you do, the sooner you can heal, and you'll save face too. Thanks, I will take it as a warning. I really feel uneasy about this, and truth is, I am not even convinced now that he is worth the risk of feeling like an idiot. lol Thanks for all.
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