rich47 Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 Hi everyone, I'll try to keep this as brief as I can! I live in Japan and have done for four years, and been in a relationship with a Japanese girl for the last three. I am 34, she is 26. We live two hours apart so I visit Tokyo, where she lives, probably three weekends out of four, and she occasionally visits me. Had a great three years, and I don't remember a single argument during that time. Last met two weeks ago and everything was same as always, affectionate, fun, happy. We were supposed to meet last Sunday but she cancelled the day before. Said she had had a really bad headache since the Friday afternoon. I was fine with it, and indeed went ahead with my trip to Tokyo to see the cherry blossom trees that were in full bloom, and stayed until Tuesday. We shared texts during this time, but we didn't meet because her work is genuinely crazy busy, and she was working from 8am until close to midnight. This is very much how it is in Japan, and especially Tokyo. Ridiculous. Anyway, didn't pressure her at all, sent her a couple of photos of the blossom, etc. But I did sense her being distant with me since the cancellation. The day before this cancellation, it had been the "love you" texts and stuff, but afterwards it was just a bit more distant. And not texting "sweet dreams" like she always has before, stuff like that. I got back to my hometown Wednesday evening and asked her if she fancied a chat, but she was still at work, so I replied saying no problem and good luck with it. She didn't reply that evening, and we haven't had any contact since. I don't think we've ever gone a day without contact, but then Thursday, Friday, Saturday...nothing. I didn't initiate because I had sensed her pulling away, and wanted to give her space. However, this afternoon I was freaking out so did send an upbeat "hope you are having a relaxing weekend after such a busy week, and...Happy Easter!" Probably a mistake to do that, but what the hell, it's gone now. Unsurprisingly, no reply. I guess I am just seeking reassurances about what to do next. I am tempted to send another text before I go to sleep (7pm now) saying "I realise you need space, and so I promise not to send any further messages. Just know I will be here when you are ready to chat" ....but I think this is a bad idea, and please reassure if you think that is the case! I have deleted her number from my phone so I won't be tempted! I just didn't see this coming at all as we were amazing together just two weeks ago. Is it possibly a case that her stressful work is making her question whether or not she has time/wants to be in a relationship right now? Should I go strict NC now? I have felt a bit panicky today at the thought that she is going to walk away, but I know from previous experience what I should do. Just hurts that she hasn't even asked for space......just suddenly stopped messaging me! Thanks for reading, Rich
Ruby65 Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 I am tempted to send another text before I go to sleep (7pm now) saying "I realise you need space, and so I promise not to send any further messages. Just know I will be here when you are ready to chat" ....but I think this is a bad idea, and please reassure if you think that is the case! Instead of sending her that text, why not actually DO what you say you'll do instead? Realize she needs space. Give her the space. Don't send her further messages. Be there when she's ready to chat. That sounds like the best possible way to handle this situation! Do the above and let it play out for now, that's my advice anyway.
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