Jump to content

What do you think of guys that would date anyone?

Eternal Sunshine

By Eternal Sunshine
in General Relationship Discussion

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

Posted
Posted
No, that doesn't really count.

 

Special would be going out with the one girl he had a crush on. But that sort of thing doesn't actually happen in real life.

 

All I can do is go through the numbers.

 

You know if you look for signs of interest, you save yourself a lot of rejection?

  • Like 3
AD1980 Established Member

AD1980

Posted
Posted

Unattractive men can't afford to be selective and wait for the perfect situation to approach because odds on any one girl saying yes is slim to none so it has to be a numbers game.

 

Which obviously doesn't sit well with women because status is extremely important to them

  • Like 1
jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

Posted
Posted
Unattractive men can't afford to be selective and wait for the perfect situation to approach because odds on any one girl saying yes is slim to none so it has to be a numbers game.

 

Which obviously doesn't sit well with women because status is extremely important to them

 

Exactly, getting a match out of your immediate and extended social circle can be tough because mutual physical attraction isn't that easy especially if its a mixed ethnic circle. I have a friend of mine who a cool guy, the girls like hanging out with him, but because he's a short Indian guy with an accent, they aren't interested in him romantically. Guys like that have a small window so sometimes they start approaching random girls and trying their luck like that, which usually doesn't work either, but you can't knock a guy for trying that.

 

Also that doesn't mean he'll date anybody, he'll try and get to know anybody, but he wouldn't jump into an LTR if he doesn't like their qualities. That's why I rolled my eyes when I read the comments on here.

  • Like 1
Pennyapple Member

Pennyapple

Posted
Posted

I've known a few guys like that. They are either with very low self-esteem and are desperate for a date, or with super high sex drive that they don't care who their dates are as long as there is possibility for sex.

Els Established Member

Els

Posted
Posted
It's no wonder so many guys are confused on here. Men are told that dating is a numbers game, but when they try to do that, women don't want to date them because they aren't selective enough.

 

The people telling men that dating is a numbers game are primarily other men (who are not the people choosing whether or not to date the men, assuming both are heterosexual).

  • Like 4
Harold of Andraste Established Member

Harold of Andraste

Posted
Posted
The people telling men that dating is a numbers game are primarily other men (who are not the people choosing whether or not to date the men, assuming both are heterosexual).

 

If dating isn't a numbers game then what should men be doing?

hotpotato Established Member

hotpotato

Posted
Posted
If dating isn't a numbers game then what should men be doing?

 

Approach women who give them proper signals??? Cold approach is for dudes who can tolerate a lot of rejection. Its not for everybody.

  • Like 2
  • Author
Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

Posted
  • Author
Posted

That's the whole problem: I don't believe that dating is a numbers game. If that were true, you would have the same probability of success with anyone. Obviously that's not so.

  • Like 5
Els Established Member

Els

Posted
Posted
If dating isn't a numbers game then what should men be doing?

 

IMO? Working on themselves consistently while interacting on a platonic level with many women (at work/school/hobbies), then selectively approaching the few women that they have decided that they ARE interested in and whom they have had rapport with. This might not be the only option, but it's one that has worked for most of the men in LTRs whom I know.

 

Of course, if your aim IS to date many different women, then by all means approach it as a numbers game. Just don't get your panties in a bunch when LTR-oriented women find it to be a turn-off.

  • Like 2
Weezy1973 Established Member

Weezy1973

Posted
Posted
That's the whole problem: I don't believe that dating is a numbers game. If that were true, you would have the same probability of success with anyone. Obviously that's not so.

 

Exactly - it's not a numbers game. People can put themselves in better positions to meet someone suitable as a partner. And that would be a far better strategy then just dating as many randoms as possible.

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted
If dating isn't a numbers game then what should men be doing?

 

 

 

Let them come to you and then decide what you want....

 

 

 

 

But I do recall a guy some years ago that I knew..He was about as undesirable as you could imagine..He employed the "shotgun" method..Just hit on all women and eventually you will find one to say yes...

 

All I can say is that it did actually work for him....I am 100% percent sure that if he didn't employ this method, he would never get out of the gate....

 

TFY

Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Established Member

Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646

Posted
Posted

Ok, going to share a story here, it doesn't exactly put me in the greatest light, but it offers some perspective:

 

When I was much younger I used to be that guy, and it's kinda how I ended up with my First GF despite us being terrible for each other. I do think some girls thought I was a bit desperate to be honest.

 

Usually a guy who will date any single female has ulterior motives. He might think he really likes her, but they are most likely just feelings of attraction/lust. When I was 21 and still a virgin (late bloomer) it's probably the main reason that I would date any girl that came along, I just wanted to get laid :laugh: Not proud of it, but hey guys have needs.

 

Nowadays when I see this happen, it makes me lose a bit of respect for someone who will date any eligible single girl that comes along. It comes off as desperate/needy, and it doesn't surprise me when Women are turned off by it.

  • Like 1
Mr Scorpio Established Member

Mr Scorpio

Posted
Posted (edited)

I can understand and respect the viewpoint of women wanting to be chosen for a particular reason, as opposed to simply being the first one to say yes. When I had eyes for my ex I couldn't have cared less about other women.

 

At the same time...

 

Aren't first dates primarily for getting to know each other, anyway?

 

This. I think the difference is seeking out a relationship for relationship sake. If a fella doesn't already know someone whom they'd like to pursue, you have to start somewhere. I'd imagine being open minded and saying "I'll give most anyone a chance" is a good attitude.

 

In a forced social setting like school, getting to know each other often comes before the first date. Charm the women around you, and dates follow.

 

And if their are no women around you?

 

Nowadays when I see this happen, it makes me lose a bit of respect for someone who will date any eligible single girl that comes along. It comes off as desperate/needy, and it doesn't surprise me when Women are turned off by it.

 

Date as in a singular meeting designed to allow to people to determine if their is mutual interest, or date as an on-going committed relationship?

Edited by Mr Scorpio
I forgot I had a souffle in the oven so I had to quick finish my post and run so I could take it out.
AD1980 Established Member

AD1980

Posted
Posted
Approach women who give them proper signals??? Cold approach is for dudes who can tolerate a lot of rejection. Its not for everybody.

 

A lot of these unattractive dudes aren't getting "proper signals" from women so should they just give up then and not approach?

  • Like 1
Revolver Established Member

Revolver

Posted
Posted

You ask out as many girls as possible and pick from the best of the yes bunch

Harold of Andraste Established Member

Harold of Andraste

Posted
Posted
IMO? Working on themselves consistently while interacting on a platonic level with many women (at work/school/hobbies), then selectively approaching the few women that they have decided that they ARE interested in and whom they have had rapport with. This might not be the only option, but it's one that has worked for most of the men in LTRs whom I know.

 

What if all of those women reject the guy?

 

That's the whole problem: I don't believe that dating is a numbers game. If that were true, you would have the same probability of success with anyone. Obviously that's not so.

 

Why is it not true?

 

The probability of getting a date is very low. For example if it was 5% the only way a guy can succeed is by quickly asking out a lot of women. Spending time to get to know a woman before asking her out is a waste of time and energy if the odds of her saying yes are still very low.

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
Posted

 

Why is it not true?

 

The probability of getting a date is very low. For example if it was 5% the only way a guy can succeed is by quickly asking out a lot of women. Spending time to get to know a woman before asking her out is a waste of time and energy if the odds of her saying yes are still very low.

 

Because your "5%" is the average, some men will have 95% chance of landing a date on a cold approach and other men a 0.0000005% chance of landing a date on cold approach. That is one heck of a lot of nos.

That is why those men in the latter group need to try another tactic to get dates, the numbers needed to get one women to say yes are ridiculous.

 

Even at 5% saying yes, that is only one woman in 20 saying yes and for some men finding 20 suitable women is a big ask, especially if half of them had already said no previously.

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted

I guess the thing that has me wondering, is how would a random woman know that a random guy is asking anyone and everyone out? Would he be like..."whew...finally....I just struck out with the last 67 women"...

 

 

TFY

  • Like 1
GravityMan Established Member

GravityMan

Posted
Posted
What do you think of guys that would date anyone?

 

Guys like that are probably desperate, have no standards and perhaps worst of all have no self-respect.

  • Like 1
Taramere Established Member

Taramere

Posted
Posted (edited)
It's no wonder so many guys are confused on here. Men are told that dating is a numbers game, .

 

The "it's a numbers game" thing tends to be the advice men give eachother - and I think it tends to be primarily in terms of how to pick up a woman for sex in a environment club full of women who are glammed up for the club scene and possibly under the influence of drink or drugs. The numbers game may well work there, where inhibitions (and standards) are often lowered drastically for various reasons.

 

I think most women would see that advice and immediately think of men they've known/seen in action who have that desperado thing about them where they'll hit on pretty much every woman they encounter...and will often end the night smooching with an equally desperate looking woman.

 

Whether a manages to get laid a lot or not, I think women/girls who live their lives with a bit of self respect will tend to avoid those guys. If the man gets laid laid a lot, then there's the yeuch element of "he's probably riddled with STDs" . If he never or rarely gets laid but carries on hitting on everybody then the chances are that a woman with standards would knock him back for the same reasons that everybody else is. That he comes across badly - either being shy to the point of extreme awkwardness, or being rude and obnoxious (which might be what happens when Mr Extremely Shy takes too much alcohol).

 

If a guy who I knew didn't tend to approach women much approached me then all other things - eg okay looking, a reasonably respectful and sane person - being equal then I'd automatically be more interested than if a guy who was known to constantly hit on women approached me. I'd think "he's seen something specific about me that he connects with." It's not just that it's flattering...it's that if he's very selective, then the likelihood is that when he does approach a woman he's probably going to make a sound choice (in terms of how compatible he and she are, and how likely to click).

 

When it comes to the men who are forever playing a numbers game, that you know he's forever chasing women makes "no thanks" the default position that you'd have to have a very solid reason to depart from.

Edited by Taramere
  • Like 4
gaius Established Member

gaius

Posted
Posted (edited)

Women will get very angry with you and their attraction will take a hit if they find out you've dated a woman they consider beneath their class. One of my ex's found out I had fantasized about a woman of another race once, I think she would have been less angry if I had bonked her mom. =/

 

It's more about class, where they view themselves and where they see your other sexual partners, than numbers. And guys aren't that different.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
Posted

And if their are no women around you?

 

That part is each individual's personal responsibility. It is impossible for anyone to date if you don't get out there and socialize with people of your preferred dating gender.

AD1980 Established Member

AD1980

Posted
Posted
That part is each individual's personal responsibility. It is impossible for anyone to date if you don't get out there and socialize with people of your preferred dating gender.

 

Not really easy to do when you reach a certain age where most people you know are married and have kids

Mr Scorpio Established Member

Mr Scorpio

Posted
Posted
That part is each individual's personal responsibility. It is impossible for anyone to date if you don't get out there and socialize with people of your preferred dating gender.

 

I don't disagree with you. However...

 

Not really easy to do when you reach a certain age where most people you know are married and have kids

 

This. If one doesn't go to school, or work with any women, the available pool of familiar women drops drastically. Thus, going out on a date becomes the manner of getting to no someone.

 

Again, if by "dating" we mean an exclusive-committed relationship, I think that is one thing. But if dating means going out on a date, I don't see why casting a wide net should evoke images of desperation.

xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
Posted

This. If one doesn't go to school, or work with any women, the available pool of familiar women drops drastically. Thus, going out on a date becomes the manner of getting to no someone.

 

The gym, meet ups, community events.......?

 

The first thing I'd do, if I were single, is get involved in one of the monthly "art nights" most communities have (First Friday of the month in many communities). I'd be all dolled up and serving cheese plates in some popular gallery so that eligible men could chat me up :)

 

Volunteer at a run selling t-shirts or something. Look good, be charming, and see if any woman stands out from the others as clearly interested.

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...