BlackbirdSong Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 I'm wondering with all of the stories of heartbreak, heartache, coping, and healing, would any of you (have you) ever taken back an ex (dumper) that eventually tried to come back AFTER you had put in the excruciating work of going through all of the grieving steps and ending up healed?
ZiggyZoo Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 I did get involved with one guy years after our first relationship ended, he was the dumper. It was different, the "getting to know you" stage was a lot shorter. We broke up though because I honestly didn't like the person he had become. Nothing related to our previous relationship. And since I was the dumper, I didn't really have the whole terrible long recovery process to go through. I don't really have any other exs that I'd be interested in being with again. I think that deliberately reminding yourself about all their bad aspect to help get over them kinda kills that urge. I am friends with a few though, just no romantic feelings.
frigginlost Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 (edited) I'm wondering with all of the stories of heartbreak, heartache, coping, and healing, would any of you (have you) ever taken back an ex (dumper) that eventually tried to come back AFTER you had put in the excruciating work of going through all of the grieving steps and ending up healed? Yes. She cheated on me with an ex. I dumped her. She went into counseling for 5 months. I went LC with her, then eventually NC for a month. I was pretty much fully healed at the 6 month mark. She showed up at my door one evening and asked for me to take her back. I did. Slowly. She did everything right. A complete open book. I looked at it like a brand new relationship. I worked and worked at it and fully and completely trusted her again. Things were absolutely fantastic. Until she cheated on me again. It's been 5 months (4 months LC 1 month NC) since she dumped me for another guy, and I am absolutely destroyed. I don't want to date, I hate my life right now (symptom of depression starting to set in regarding the loss of the relationship), and I'm not sure I'll ever trust another woman. Be damn careful if an ex ever wants you back... Edited April 5, 2015 by frigginlost
darkbloom Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 I've never made it through all of the steps of grieving before taking him back after the breakups. Maybe our time wasn't done yet or maybe I was just being an idiot. I would have saved myself a lot of heartache had I not taken him back. I also would have missed Oct 2014 which is the best month we ever had in our relationship. I am trying to figure out if the good memories were worth all of that heartache. Maybe. Maybe not.
marigo Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 It takes me a long time to get over someone but once I do, that's it. Almost every single guy I dated came back at one point, however, by that time I am completely over it and just can't see the relationship nor the person the same way again. There are some that came back while I am still in the process of moving on so I was willing to give it another shot but most of them doesn't really put in the effort that I need in order for me trust that they are serious the 2nd time around. In the end, I keep thinking, this guy already broke my heart. He's not really proving that he wants to be with me. It's not worth a shot anymore. In order to move on, I think of all the reasons why they aren't right for me. So when they come back, I already have that in my head and it's just not the same.
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