Should i ask for a second chance?

[justaresch]

Recently I dated a fantastic woman. We are both in our 30s and have everything in common. We dated for a couple months maybe 7 dates total. We had so few dates because she is legitimately busy with her career and her little farm. We did communicate multiple times a day every day. The chemistry was there for sure. I was positive we were both quite smitten.

 

Problem is I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It plays hell on my love life. Once we started talking about it I think it might have made me come off as lacking confidence and I got more anxious. I pushed the relationship faster than I should have and it ruined things. She said she is “flabbergasted” she’s not head over heels for me because I m such a great catch but she doesn’t feel the chemistry. She also said "if I panic and text you changing my mind, would you consider it? Or is done, done?". She still “likes” my FB posts and the break up was calm and honest. I’ve texted her a couple of times and she always responds positively. I want to ask her for another chance. I'm unsure as to how long to wait before I do so? And frankly if I even should ask for a second chance?

[Mrlonelyone]

Recently I dated a fantastic woman. We are both in our 30s and have everything in common. We dated for a couple months maybe 7 dates total. We had so few dates because she is legitimately busy with her career and her little farm. We did communicate multiple times a day every day. The chemistry was there for sure. I was positive we were both quite smitten.

 

Problem is I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It plays hell on my love life. Once we started talking about it I think it might have made me come off as lacking confidence and I got more anxious. I pushed the relationship faster than I should have and it ruined things. She said she is “flabbergasted” she’s not head over heels for me because I m such a great catch but she doesn’t feel the chemistry. She also said "if I panic and text you changing my mind, would you consider it? Or is done, done?". She still “likes” my FB posts and the break up was calm and honest. I’ve texted her a couple of times and she always responds positively. I want to ask her for another chance. I'm unsure as to how long to wait before I do so? And frankly if I even should ask for a second chance?

 

On one hand you are barely on your first chance here or you already had it.

 

On one hand she "does not feel the chemistry" after you are honest about your disorder yet she wants to leave a door open to change her mind and still gives you the time of day.

 

Her initial reaction could have been a typical one. You see.... most people want to date someone that they see as "normal". That is the hard truth of dating. By admitting your disorder you made yourself not normal.

 

There are times when you should go with what the other person does not what they say.

 

If I were you I would just be up front. Ask her out on a date, use the word date, and go on it and see what happens. Maybe she will see that even though you have your issue it's not like you eat people or something.

[Ruby65]

She said she is “flabbergasted” she’s not head over heels for me because I m such a great catch but she doesn’t feel the chemistry. She also said "if I panic and text you changing my mind, would you consider it? Or is done, done?". She still “likes” my FB posts and the break up was calm and honest. I’ve texted her a couple of times and she always responds positively. I want to ask her for another chance. I'm unsure as to how long to wait before I do so? And frankly if I even should ask for a second chance?

 

No, don't ask for another chance.

 

She's just being nice and letting you down gently when she says what a great catch you are, please don't use that as a cause for hope. Whatever happened -- whether there was too much anxiety or enthusiasm or insecurity on your part -- it turned her off.

 

She knows intellectually you're a nice guy and that she should want to be with you, she's just not feeling it.... so she's deliberately trying to keep the door open if she ever changes her mind. But I wouldn't count on that happening.

 

I wouldn't stay Facebook friends -- I wouldn't make myself so convenient to her as a Plan B safety net while she moves on to date other guys. I'd disappear from her world completely. IF she ever changes her mind, she'll find a way to let you know! Make her work for it.