Mrlonelyone Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 Those who follow me know another thread has me considering the pros and cons of re connection with an ex code named M. Let me say I have a new named storm which is in my life let us call her C. I am no longer a student I am in fact a low ranking faculty member at a college and C is a Dean who outranks me but is not older than me. C is one of the few people there who is not freaking married from what I can surmise.... and there is a hint of attraction and ember. She looks at me and talks to me in a way that shows attraction. You know. Two things give me pause about C. There are career and ethical implications given the nature of our work and professional standings. C reminds me of M in some ways that give me pause, yet differs in key ways that give me unpause namely age, experience, maturity comparable to my own. I would not needed to wonder if she was on the same life page as I am. So I ask for opinions. Should I try and see if C is interested in perhaps having a more than professional and working relationship? Right now I have little information on C. Having my last woman of interest M reach out to me even a little at about the same time confuses matters. One is a known quantity the other is unknown but has possibly more of an upside potential...but also a big downside. Should I like Jack Nicholson's character in "A Few Good Men" put it try for the "woman I would have to salute in the morning"?
smackie9 Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 You are a grown man......can you not decide on your own??? You are being a Woody Allen.....that doesn't play too well when dating women. You need to have confidence and clear thinking then you will know what action to take. 1
Author Mrlonelyone Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 You are a grown man......can you not decide on your own??? You are being a Woody Allen.....that doesn't play too well when dating women. You need to have confidence and clear thinking then you will know what action to take. No being a Woody Allen is what I was when I ****'d my last ex who was 20 at the time. Can someone offer me some real insight into this. Anyone else ever dated a boss?
smackie9 Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 No A Woody Allen is being too indecisive. The man had to ask his psychologist if he should buy sheets that were a different color (true story). Who cares what other people think of your situation. If you want to date this person then just go for it. It's not a bad idea, nor a great one depending on who you ask. Do what you feel.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 No A Woody Allen is being too indecisive. The man had to ask his psychologist if he should buy sheets that were a different color (true story). Who cares what other people think of your situation. If you want to date this person then just go for it. It's not a bad idea, nor a great one depending on who you ask. Do what you feel. Well that's more constructive. It is not like a I take orders from this board I just like to give myself a sanity check when it comes to these things. The work place we are in, college faculty and they more senior has certain quirks...this aint a corporate mail room. Academia is full of people who love to throw around the idea that "where there is a power difference there can't be mutual consent". C has more power than me.
smackie9 Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 Work is work, personal life is personal and has nothing to do with work.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 Work is work, personal life is personal and has nothing to do with work. Not in my field. For example faculty are banned from dating students. That is not about age, since the students can be 30's 40's and up.... it is about the power difference. I have had to say no to being directly asked out by students from age 20 to 40. They are students and I now have the power of the red pen. If I ask this woman out and she's interested but has ethical concerns it could cause us a problem. If I ask her out and she's not interested it could cause me a BIG problem. All the usual signs are there you know....but ....those ethical concerns.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 I am going to ask if there is a policy against faculty dating faculty or staff and if not then I will just talk to her. It's not like I organically meet eligible women every day.
smackie9 Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 When hired was there not a requirement to review such policies???
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