Confusedgirl99 Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 So I met a guy via some dating site-he lives in another state but that might not be an issue if we work out bc one of us can move. We had just been emailing last few weeks, short, superficial. Anyway I happened to be vacationing where he lives soon and asked if he wanted to meet up, he said sure but also that he wanted to FaceTime/video chat first. So, this past Thursday night we face timed, it was good(I thought at least), he seemed normal and chatty. After an hour he said he had to go and thanked me for trying something out of my comfort zone. And I haven't heard from him since then. It's Saturday today. Is it usually guys who should message first after situations like this? Maybe I'm old fashioned but I thought they should. Is he just not interested? Don't most guys usually say something about being in contact again if they want to continue it? Thoughts?
katiegrl Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 So I met a guy via some dating site-he lives in another state but that might not be an issue if we work out bc one of us can move. We had just been emailing last few weeks, short, superficial. Anyway I happened to be vacationing where he lives soon and asked if he wanted to meet up, he said sure but also that he wanted to FaceTime/video chat first. So, this past Thursday night we face timed, it was good(I thought at least), he seemed normal and chatty. After an hour he said he had to go and thanked me for trying something out of my comfort zone. And I haven't heard from him since then. It's Saturday today. Is it usually guys who should message first after situations like this? Maybe I'm old fashioned but I thought they should. Is he just not interested? Don't most guys usually say something about being in contact again if they want to continue it? Thoughts? IMO yes, if he were interested, I think he would want to send a text, and solidly plans as to when to meet in person... But it's only been two days, I wouldn't text him first....if he's interested in pursuing, he will. If not, oh well....next.
fred123 Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 He didnt like you on face time. Thats why its always good to face time first. You should be grateful that he suggesetd that. Imagine if you went to meet him first without face timing and you were excited and had your hopes up and then he saw you and changed the way he was with you after he saw you. Trust me move on
katiegrl Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 The last guy you dated (who broke your heart) also lived in another state. What's with all these guys you date living out of state? There is a reason guys choose to pursue women who live out of state, and it's not because they want a relationship with her... Try dating local...it might help.
DoesntGetIt Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 IMO yes, if he were interested, I think he would want to send a text, and solidly plans as to when to meet in person... But it's only been two days, I wouldn't text him first....if he's interested in pursuing, he will. If not, oh well....next. Why is it the guy needs to be the first to text? In this day and age if you're interested you can reach out. There have been times I would have seen how things went with a woman if she had reached out, but moved on to others since she didn't. Then there were the women who beat me to the punch on the after date "had a good time" text, and I immediately liked them more for not being afraid to reach out first. As to the OP, follow Katie's advice on dating local, stop looking in other states.
SunnySide0418 Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 So I met a guy via some dating site-he lives in another state but that might not be an issue if we work out bc one of us can move. We had just been emailing last few weeks, short, superficial. Anyway I happened to be vacationing where he lives soon and asked if he wanted to meet up, he said sure but also that he wanted to FaceTime/video chat first. So, this past Thursday night we face timed, it was good(I thought at least), he seemed normal and chatty. After an hour he said he had to go and thanked me for trying something out of my comfort zone. And I haven't heard from him since then. It's Saturday today. Is it usually guys who should message first after situations like this? Maybe I'm old fashioned but I thought they should. Is he just not interested? Don't most guys usually say something about being in contact again if they want to continue it? Thoughts? Was he complimentary? What did he say? It's odd he hasn't contacted you since he saw you. I suppose you could reach out one time but it's not looking too good.
Author Confusedgirl99 Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 (edited) I live in a pretty small town and dating is kinda different in my culture. It's more of dating to marry and so usually dating serves as a quick means to marriage and one person usually ends up moving to where the other one lives. Hence it's common to meet people in other states. Yes, ideally it's easier to date locally but I guess the options are limited. I'll keep looking though. Anyway, I'm not sure if he was complimentary. He was polite, nice, we talked for an hour until he said he had to go make dinner. He kept stressing the need to be able to ask questions so that people can know each other and so at the end I jokingly said well next time I'll be prepared with a list of questions(because I had told him a bad date story of a guy who did that with me) and he just laughed and said "im an open book, you can ask". He did say in the convo "as a guy on these dating sites, it's "how do I put this, you get so much, it's kinda like shopping around". I guess he's saying he has a lotta girls after him, idk. I probably should hAve said it's the same for girls, but I'm not that shrew on the fly so I just kinda nodded and said nothing. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong lately. I mean i don't know, I don't feel like I'm an ugly girl or weird, maybe sometimes I get carried away and I'm probably not as mature and mysterious/aloof as I need to be, I'm goofy, I really don't know. Lately I've just been getting rejected at every angle(friends and dates), I'm starting to wonder if I'm doing something wrong.all this just really takes a toll on your self esteem. Everything has just been really heavy lately. I really value the input, thank you. Edited April 5, 2015 by Confusedgirl99
d0nnivain Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 (edited) I too think that something about the facetime interaction changed the way he sees you. If he was into you, I would have expected him to reach out in some way by now. That said, the above is a guess. If you want more concrete info, you will have to reach out to him. Send a text. See what response you get. If you don't get a response, move on. Edited April 5, 2015 by d0nnivain
katiegrl Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 I live in a pretty small town and dating is kinda different in my culture. It's more of dating to marry and so usually dating serves as a quick means to marriage and one person usually ends up moving to where the other one lives. Hence it's common to meet people in other states. Yes, ideally it's easier to date locally but I guess the options are limited. I'll keep looking though. Anyway, I'm not sure if he was complimentary. He was polite, nice, we talked for an hour until he said he had to go make dinner. He kept stressing the need to be able to ask questions so that people can know each other and so at the end I jokingly said well next time I'll be prepared with a list of questions(because I had told him a bad date story of a guy who did that with me) and he just laughed and said "im an open book, you can ask". He did say in the convo "as a guy on these dating sites, it's "how do I put this, you get so much, it's kinda like shopping around". I guess he's saying he has a lotta girls after him, idk. I probably should hAve said it's the same for girls, but I'm not that shrew on the fly so I just kinda nodded and said nothing. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong lately. I mean i don't know, I don't feel like I'm an ugly girl or weird, maybe sometimes I get carried away and I'm probably not as mature and mysterious/aloof as I need to be, I'm goofy, I really don't know. Lately I've just been getting rejected at every angle(friends and dates), I'm starting to wonder if I'm doing something wrong.all this just really takes a toll on your self esteem. Everything has just been really heavy lately. I really value the input, thank you. Hang in there hon...we've all been there, done that. As for mistakes, man I have made some doozies!! Thinking back....I cringe....literally! :eek: ((hugs)) 1
Author Confusedgirl99 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 Well it's official, he's not interested..at my friend's encouraging I texted him to get a concrete answer, he never responded. I don't know what about FaceTime put him off, but sigh oh well. Sucks. Thanks for the advice everyone.
katiegrl Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 Well it's official, he's not interested..at my friend's encouraging I texted him to get a concrete answer, he never responded. I don't know what about FaceTime put him off, but sigh oh well. Sucks. Thanks for the advice everyone. Sweetie, you didn't do anything wrong. He just wasn't feelin it, that's all. Next! 2
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