Mondmellonw Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 This basically started because I had a boyfriend in 2013, he seemed to be very good at first but he ended up being verbally abusive and manipulative. I have always been with guys who are a little older than me, I'm 21 now, my current boyfriend is 26. He has been good, but he is still living with his parents. He has a job and he treats me right most of the time. I know I must respect my parents, but I also want to be able to make my own choices. What should I do? They don't want me to be with him at all.
darkmoon Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 if your parents disapprove, i would listen to them, my impression is that you are wasting your pretty years on a go-nowhere situation, unlesss you have a catch to bring home, which tbh you do not, then wait, i think your parents are sensible 1
Lurkeraspect Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 What does "he treats me right most of the time"mean? 3
whichwayisup Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 This basically started because I had a boyfriend in 2013, he seemed to be very good at first but he ended up being verbally abusive and manipulative. I have always been with guys who are a little older than me, I'm 21 now, my current boyfriend is 26. He has been good, but he is still living with his parents. He has a job and he treats me right most of the time. I know I must respect my parents, but I also want to be able to make my own choices. What should I do? They don't want me to be with him at all. Because he is older than you, he's abusive and they see he hasn't treated you right at times. ANY parent wouldn't want that for their child. Your choice? Move out and do as you please or allow your parents to get to know him better and show them that he isn't as bad as he used to be. The thing is, if someone is an ass.hole like that, that's who they are. They can hide it at times but eventually the ass.hole moments come out again. 1
Author Mondmellonw Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 What does "he treats me right most of the time"mean? He started liking pictures of girls on Facebook, I brought it to him and he said that if it made me feel bad he would stop. But he did it again. Still, I don't know if that is something major?
Author Mondmellonw Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 What is it that your parents don't like? His age. The fact that he still lives with his parents. The fact that he is lazy. 1
Author Mondmellonw Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 Because he is older than you, he's abusive and they see he hasn't treated you right at times. ANY parent wouldn't want that for their child. Your choice? Move out and do as you please or allow your parents to get to know him better and show them that he isn't as bad as he used to be. The thing is, if someone is an ass.hole like that, that's who they are. They can hide it at times but eventually the ass.hole moments come out again. I'm not talking about the same guy. I was with that one before. The one I'm with now seems to have similar stuff to him, but he hasn't been abusive.
Lurkeraspect Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 His age. The fact that he still lives with his parents. The fact that he is lazy. Yea, as a parent, I'm with them. Question is; whay do you find him so special. And please don't say...I love him. Specifically, WHAT do you love about him?
Author Mondmellonw Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 Yea, as a parent, I'm with them. Question is; whay do you find him so special. And please don't say...I love him. Specifically, WHAT do you love about him? I love how he treats others, not just me. He is always there for them if needed, I mean, he is very (damn, I forgot how to say "amable" on English, my native language is Spanish, sorry about that). Oh, the word is "kind", he is very kind. He has a great sense of humour. And he is very gentle in general, just that little thing that happened in facebook, wich I don't really see as important.... And he is very intelligent, but he is just starting a new bussiness and that's why he hasn't bought a place for him to live, he needs to make money first. Well, that's what he says. He really is lazy I guess. :/ mhhh...
Lurkeraspect Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 Part of becoming/being an adult is not only making your own choices but defending them. As a 21 year old (adult) you can and are expected to do just that. I would however consider your parents input in this. They have seen a past relationship that was abusive, so they are likely leery of your man picking. And here is this guy; 26, living with his parents, lazy (your words). So I can see where they are less than thrilled. They also love you and want the best for you. But again, you're an adult and at some point you're going to have to grow up and make your own choices and decisions. 1
Author Mondmellonw Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 Part of becoming/being an adult is not only making your own choices but defending them. As a 21 year old (adult) you can and are expected to do just that. I would however consider your parents input in this. They have seen a past relationship that was abusive, so they are likely leery of your man picking. And here is this guy; 26, living with his parents, lazy (your words). So I can see where they are less than thrilled. They also love you and want the best for you. But again, you're an adult and at some point you're going to have to grow up and make your own choices and decisions. You're right. I guess I need to do a lot of thinking. Thank you.
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