Author smg15 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 Well I called and No answer lol Well I guess if I don't get a response before the night is over then I know what the deal was
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 OP Pretty sure we've told you this a million times but: Pick a cheap date, Bar for drinks, Coffee, etc. No food. Go for the check, if she offers to pay let her know that you'll take care of it. If she insists, then go dutch with her. Btw don't just blind call. Text her asking when a good time to call is, that way she'll know to expect your call, otherwise she might be busy.
Author smg15 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 Now you're getting it. When I had periods of being single, I'd spend time researching creative date ideas that are low cost/free and scout locations. That way in the beginning when I don't know what a woman's intentions are, I can keep seeing her with little to no money spent. But since they're fun and take obvious planning, it's still appreciated for the effort involved. The place I chose last night I thought was a sports bar and it wasn't. It was a bar and grill type of place with Flat screens inside lol When someone took me there 2 years ago I thought it was a sports bar but I realized it wasn't last night. I should have known it wasn't when she said she called and made reservations for us
fitnessfan365 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 (edited) The place I chose last night I thought was a sports bar and it wasn't. It was a bar and grill type of place with Flat screens inside lol When someone took me there 2 years ago I thought it was a sports bar but I realized it wasn't last night. I should have known it wasn't when she said she called and made reservations for us I'm telling you man. Ice cream or frozen yogurt is hands down the best first "meet" option. Not only does it only cost $5 a person, but ice cream is meant to be eaten on the go. So you can walk and chat while enjoying it. Unlike coffee which is supposed to be enjoyed sitting down like all types of drinks are. Plus let me tell you, most women have a thing about ice cream. I read a psychology article awhile back linking ice cream flavor choices to personality. So on my profile I said "Extra credit if you pass the ice cream test." I had at least 100 women write me and ask what that was. Like they think I will put scoops of various ice cream flavors on their naked body and eat it off them or something..LOL However, I deleted 90% of the ice cream emails because that's all they asked about. My GF actually worked for a Hagan Dasz when she was a teenager so she had a genuine connection to ice cream. So at the end of her email that's why she brought it up. But it works really well as a segue to ask for a date saying "It's better given in person". Then their flavor choice can hint at personality type. Luckily, I've only had a few plain women that went with vanilla or chocolate. Most usually want mint chocolate chip for some reason. My GF's was Gold Medal Ribbon which had chocolate, vanilla, and caramel. The combo of all three and what they mean fit her personality well actually. The ice cream test isn't an exact science mind you, but it can give very basic insight. Edited April 6, 2015 by fitnessfan365
Author smg15 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 I'm telling you man. Ice cream or frozen yogurt is hands down the best first "meet" option. Not only does it only cost $5 a person, but ice cream is meant to be eaten on the go. So you can walk and chat while enjoying it. Unlike coffee which is supposed to be enjoyed sitting down like all types of drinks are. Plus let me tell you, most women have a thing about ice cream. I read a psychology article awhile back linking ice cream flavor choices to personality. So on my profile I said "Extra credit if you pass the ice cream test." I had at least 100 women write me and ask what that was. Like they think I will put scoops of various ice cream flavors on their naked body and eat it off them or something..LOL However, I deleted 90% of the ice cream emails because that's all they asked about. My GF actually worked for a Hagan Dasz when she was a teenager so she had a genuine connection to ice cream. So at the end of her email that's why she brought it up. But it works really well as a segue to ask for a date saying "It's better given in person". Then their flavor choice can hint at personality type. Luckily, I've only had a few plain women that went with vanilla or chocolate. Most usually want mint chocolate chip for some reason. My GF's was Gold Medal Ribbon which had chocolate, vanilla, and caramel. The combo of all three and what they mean fit her personality well actually. The ice cream test isn't an exact science mind you, but it can give very basic insight. I was told last year that a "ice cream" date was for people in high school
DoesntGetIt Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 I was told last year that a "ice cream" date was for people in high school Hell if a woman suggested going to the Ben and Jerry's factory for a date, I'd probably just marry her right there! Exaggeration obviously, but I do love me some ice cream and would have no problem with an ice cream date. I've done dessert café dates, board game dates, drinks, hockey games, food, brunch, etc. Many different things can make for interesting dates. Don't feel burdened by tradition of either a coffee, alcoholic drinks, or food. Besides, that is what all the other guys are doing anyway. Maybe I will be that aggressive one day on a date to set up a second date if I already been on 2 dates with 2 other woman. Right now I am at 0 girls and don't feel like having my confidence take another hit so I am in no position to arrange another meeting at the end of a first meet. If you don't have the confidence to ask for second dates, or to text/call and possibly be shot down, then you don't have the confidence to be dating at all. The biggest thing women are drawn to is confidence (in my experience). You need that going in, and you need to be willing to go for the second date. Sure, you might get shot down, and throughout your life you will get shot down either sometimes, or often depending on your personality and luck. But so what? Then you have your answer and you can move on. Not asking, waiting for days, etc., just leaves you in the ****ty spot of not knowing whether she cares and having to wonder. You asking isn't going to change how she feels, but it will give you an answer sooner and end the wondering. So just do it. Getting rejected doesn't need to be a big deal. And leave a message next time you call, don't just hang up with no message all creepy like.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 I was told last year that a "ice cream" date was for people in high school Dude, never let a single woman's opinion diminish what you enjoy doing. If you think an ice cream date is awesome, then it's awesome. That's all there is to it. If you meet one woman that thinks it's for people in high school, drop her for being too high maintenance. With the amount of women that have wanted to partake in my ice cream test, there are PLENTY that love it for a date. Hell I could have a great date with a woman playing Uno in an ice cream parlor while splitting a milk shake. It's all about how you perceive it. If you're confident about it and make a woman believe that it will be a great date, she will have a great time. But if you come off unsure with a "Please don't think this is lame" vibe, she'll feel uneasy. When I tell a woman we're grabbing ice cream it's her choice to join me and have fun, or be passed over for the next one.
SunnySide0418 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 How very 1950s of you. It is extremely common for both to pay their own or to trade off paying in the modern dating world. Since I've been back out dating, I have paid for every first date. However, in each one the woman has either tried, or at least done the "move toward the purse" move to show they're willing to pay (or pretend to be willing to pay). The reason I pay isn't because they're a woman, it is because I'm out with someone new. I pay the way often times for my male friends when we go out as well. On all my second dates the woman has insisted on picking up the tab since I paid for the first one, again because it is modern times. (And to cover the other base, they don't offer to pay their way because they're not interested, I have continued to date and/or had sex with all of the ones I've been interested in. It is a different age and there is no reason for only the men to pay anymore.) You expect me to be the one who pays = goodbye. You believe you should pay your way = me typically paying because I want to. Then again, I got tired of the chase game early on and have found there to be plenty of great women who aren't afraid to act first/pursue. Sorry but it's tacky to let the woman pay for the second date.
Author smg15 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 Hell if a woman suggested going to the Ben and Jerry's factory for a date, I'd probably just marry her right there! Exaggeration obviously, but I do love me some ice cream and would have no problem with an ice cream date. I've done dessert café dates, board game dates, drinks, hockey games, food, brunch, etc. Many different things can make for interesting dates. Don't feel burdened by tradition of either a coffee, alcoholic drinks, or food. Besides, that is what all the other guys are doing anyway. If you don't have the confidence to ask for second dates, or to text/call and possibly be shot down, then you don't have the confidence to be dating at all. The biggest thing women are drawn to is confidence (in my experience). You need that going in, and you need to be willing to go for the second date. Sure, you might get shot down, and throughout your life you will get shot down either sometimes, or often depending on your personality and luck. But so what? Then you have your answer and you can move on. Not asking, waiting for days, etc., just leaves you in the ****ty spot of not knowing whether she cares and having to wonder. You asking isn't going to change how she feels, but it will give you an answer sooner and end the wondering. So just do it. Getting rejected doesn't need to be a big deal. And leave a message next time you call, don't just hang up with no message all creepy like. i'm human and if I dont have success on dates then my confidence won't be as high.
Author smg15 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 Dude, never let a single woman's opinion diminish what you enjoy doing. If you think an ice cream date is awesome, then it's awesome. That's all there is to it. If you meet one woman that thinks it's for people in high school, drop her for being too high maintenance. With the amount of women that have wanted to partake in my ice cream test, there are PLENTY that love it for a date. Hell I could have a great date with a woman playing Uno in an ice cream parlor while splitting a milk shake. It's all about how you perceive it. If you're confident about it and make a woman believe that it will be a great date, she will have a great time. But if you come off unsure with a "Please don't think this is lame" vibe, she'll feel uneasy. When I tell a woman we're grabbing ice cream it's her choice to join me and have fun, or be passed over for the next one. Well that's what I did which is why I didn't meet her because I thought it sounded Nuts
rester Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 Well I called and No answer lol Well I guess if I don't get a response before the night is over then I know what the deal was She doesn't have anything to respond to if you didn't leave a message. At least follow up the hang-up with a text so she has something to respond to. And give her more time than "before the night's over" before writing her off.
Author smg15 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 She doesn't have anything to respond to if you didn't leave a message. At least follow up the hang-up with a text so she has something to respond to. And give her more time than "before the night's over" before writing her off. so what would be a fair amount of time?
DoesntGetIt Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 Sorry but it's tacky to let the woman pay for the second date. It is 100% not tacky in modern times for women to pay for any of the dates, whether it be first, second, third or any other. This really isn't 30 years ago. I feel like half the advice given on this site is from people who must be in their late 40s or 50s and are just out of touch with how dating actually works now for people in their 20s and early 30s. And considering the success I've had with women who have paid for the second date, I have zero issue with it happening.
Author smg15 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 Sorry but it's tacky to let the woman pay for the second date. In my experience the woman offers to pay for the 3rd date
DoesntGetIt Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 i'm human and if I dont have success on dates then my confidence won't be as high. It's a self feeding circle, so you have to break it. Women like confidence. If you don't have any, you're not going to have good luck, which in turn will make you feel worse, which will make them respond worse, which will make you feel worse.... You have to have the confidence that you are a good person worth dating and carry yourself as such. And you have to realize rejection happens and it is no big deal. It will make it easier for you to make the right moves instead of doubting everything and worrying about what might happen.
Gary S Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 In my experience the woman offers to pay for the 3rd date - I know. And you don't have very much experience.
Author smg15 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 It's a self feeding circle, so you have to break it. Women like confidence. If you don't have any, you're not going to have good luck, which in turn will make you feel worse, which will make them respond worse, which will make you feel worse.... You have to have the confidence that you are a good person worth dating and carry yourself as such. And you have to realize rejection happens and it is no big deal. It will make it easier for you to make the right moves instead of doubting everything and worrying about what might happen. I don't mind it happening but ususally it's spread out, not back to back to back Like I meet someone in March get rejected but the next date in May is a success and then maybe a rejection happens in Sept. That's why I was going to set up another date tomorrow but I don't feel like spending anymore money right now.
Author smg15 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 - I know. And you don't have very much experience. I am talking about when I had success in the past. I refuse to believe thinning hair is that big of a deal
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