2GunKate Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 (edited) Our divorce was final March 19th after 18 years together. We have a 14 year old daughter together who chose to live with him. I limit my contact with him to text messages because of our daughter, a home we still own together and other property. I prefer not to know where he is and what he's doing and who he might be with. I can honestly say he was the love of my life and the break up was very difficult for me as it is with most people. I separated and moved away from him and filed for divorce last year because of his continued lying and cheating. no contact in this situation is very important because I still have very deep feelings for him despite all the things he did to me that hurt me emotionally. the issue is every now and again when we're talking about issues concerning our daughter or our other home he will randomly say that he loves me or misses me or would like a brand new picture of me......and no not a picture of my face if you get my meaning!! I refuse to say I love you back or send any pictures of any kind so my question is why does he keep doing this?? I just don't understand it for the life of me....he was the one who said he didn't want to be married to me anymore, he found a girlfriend that he was in love with (she is no longer in the picture...... he's on to someone new) and didn't want to have that kind of relationship with me anymore ......so why does he continue to want to do things like that?? I don't think he's genuine or sincere .....just wanted some opinions on why he keeps behaving this way?? Thanks for input....... Edited April 4, 2015 by 2GunKate misspellings
No Limit Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 He behaves this way because he's a manipulative jerk hoping you could play your part as a booty call. I do wonder why your daughter chose to stay with him; did he manipulate her or was your relationship with your daughter always a little more... tense? 1
Author 2GunKate Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 (edited) thank you for the insight that's exactly what I was thinking.....as far as our daughter goes she's always been very close to me and was excited to be moving back to our hometown to go to school with friends that she had gone to school with in previous years. but a couple of weeks before school started last year she abruptly changed her mind and decided she wanted to stay with her dad. as most can imagine I was devastated and hurt for a very long time. I'm not sure if he's manipulating her but that is his MO so I wouldn't be surprised. she's a teenager and I'm sure she wanted to stay close to the friends that she had made over the last year. they live in a very small town where she has a lot of freedom to roam around and do whatever she wants to do. that obviously is not the case if she would to live with me.....I live in a very large city and I'd like to keep track of where she is and what she's doing at all times as most parents do. my ex isn't home with her a lot so I'm sure she enjoys her freedom to come and go as she pleases. it's been tough to navigate this year without her.....i miss her very much I miss having her company and I miss being involved in her daily life. not only did I lose my relationship with my ex husband who i considered my best friend for the last 18 years but I also lost part of my relationship with my daughter......she's been saying off and on for 6 months she wants to move back with me for the beginning of high school next year but we'll have to wait and see what happens during the summer. thanks for confirming what I already had in my head I sure appreciate it..... Edited April 5, 2015 by 2GunKate misspellings
oldshirt Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 I don't think he's genuine or sincere .....just wanted some opinions on why he keeps behaving this way?? ..... Men very rarely truly dump women, they just add more women to the pot. Men typically only leave a woman for good if their next woman makes them. If men followed their basic nature, they would never dump any woman, just simply add more to the harem. 2
dreamingoftigers Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 Men very rarely truly dump women, they just add more women to the pot. Men typically only leave a woman for good if their next woman makes them. If men followed their basic nature, they would never dump any woman, just simply add more to the harem. Thanks. That made me realize what I have going on with my husband. He's leaving me because I stand in front of his sexlife.
whichwayisup Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 . but a couple of weeks before school started last year she abruptly changed her mind and decided she wanted to stay with her dad. as most can imagine I was devastated and hurt for a very long time. It seems very obvious he's told her things to make her not want to live with you. You are the stable parent, he isn't. You say he's rarely home, he is dating women and leaving your 14 daughter home alone too often, nobody is there to watch her and sadly, this is how trouble happens - She could be dealing with the changes and divorce in a not so good way.... I wish you'd talk to her, get her to come back home to you. Have you spoken to your lawyer about this? Your husband is playing a game, trying to see what lines he can cross with you, he has no respect and thinks you'll 'fall' for him because you love him. What he doesn't realize is, you may love him with your head but your head can't stand him and you know he's being a sh.thead! 1
oldshirt Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 Thanks. That made me realize what I have going on with my husband. He's leaving me because I stand in front of his sexlife. I'm not up on your story, but yes, if you are standing in the way of him having a sexlife, he will dump you.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 I'm not up on your story, but yes, if you are standing in the way of him having a sexlife, he will dump you. As in, he doesn't want a sexlife with me. But he still wants a sexlife, get it?
kenmore Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 Men very rarely truly dump women, they just add more women to the pot. Men typically only leave a woman for good if their next woman makes them. If men followed their basic nature, they would never dump any woman, just simply add more to the harem. While this may be true sometimes, it's a generalization. This is a joke I saw recently: "Generalizations are never true!" While you did say "very rarely" and "typically", you did round it out with "never". I have "never" felt this way. I have been married twice and have only ever wanted to be with my wives. I don't think I'm an exception. I think the guys who cheat (and I have known plenty of female cheaters too) are the exception. Once someone mentions cheating, it becomes obvious where the problem lies. Even if it's not the only one, it's the elephant in the room. Nobody can ever overlook that. I am not trying to make you feel bad, I just wish to point out that there are many (I think most) men like me who can keep their dicks where they belong: in their pants or in their wife. Ken
lgspot Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 I'm not sure if he's manipulating her but that is his MO so I wouldn't be surprised. she's a teenager and I'm sure she wanted to stay close to the friends that she had made over the last year. they live in a very small town where she has a lot of freedom to roam around and do whatever she wants to do. that obviously is not the case if she would to live with me.....I live in a very large city and I'd like to keep track of where she is and what she's doing at all times as most parents do. my ex isn't home with her a lot so I'm sure she enjoys her freedom to come and go as she pleases. it's been tough to navigate this year without her.....i miss her very much I miss having her company and I miss being involved in her daily life. not only did I lose my relationship with my ex husband who i considered my best friend for the last 18 years but I also lost part of my relationship with my daughter......she's been saying off and on for 6 months she wants to move back with me for the beginning of high school next year but we'll have to wait and see what happens during the summer. thanks for confirming what I already had in my head I sure appreciate it..... She's a teenager. That explains a lot. He's a manipulator and still trying to work you. I doubt he's above using her in your interactions. I would suspect he stealthily manipulated her into staying. Did he make you out to be the bad guy? Relax. Won't take him long to realize the difficulty of a single man raising a teenage daughter. He'll be screaming for help. She'll also figure things out. Teenage girls love their dads. They NEED their mom!!! Give things time, but plan on her being back with you so you won't experience much of a lifestyle change when she is. Good luck.... 14. Whew!!!! 1
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