Didn'tknow Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 It's been over 100 days since my breakup of a 3 year relationship. My feelings for her haven't faded in the slightest, I still love her as much as I always have. I am being productive, I write music, I exercise, I model and I try to be as social as I can. I do not expect to be better, I knew it would take a long time but for me to feel the same way over 100 days later is draining me. Even if I felt 99% the same, that 1% would at least be some consolation that I am healing. But I'm not. I do everything I can to make it stop but I'm just becoming more and more exhausted as it eats at me. I have been in other long term relationships in my life and I have slowly healed from them after the breakup. Not so in this case. I don't know what to do, the love won't fade even a fraction.
erklat Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 That's not love but obsession. It will eventually get better. We all have our own pace when it comes to getting ourselves back. I felt pretty crappy when it was mine 100 days. And it was pretty crappy for the next 230 days. But then it got better. And then it got better again. And again. And then I was in a place where many people wanted to be.
darkbloom Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 I'm well over 100 days post breakup and around 100 days NC. I still love him. It hasn't faded. I go in and out of missing him. Some days are painful and other days are merely tolerable. I'm an all or nothing person so I gave 100% to him all the time. Now I'm left alone. 2
Author Didn'tknow Posted April 4, 2015 Author Posted April 4, 2015 Thank you for the replies. I never expected to feel in anyway ok but I thought there would be some change over the months, any change at all, but I'm stagnant.
darkbloom Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 I know how you feel. I've never fallen for someone quite like this. I think I will forever be different. I don't crush easy and I have never found anyone like him. I don't know why these feelings just won't fade. I'm otherwise very happy and content with my life. My irrational side says that if he would come back eveyrhing would be perfect. I know that's not true. I do. But the ache for him is the worst thing happening on my life.
devilish innocent Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 Keep in hanging in there. It can take time. The fact that you've been able to stay productive is a good sign. Even though you can't see it right now, it means you're on the right path.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 I don't think I am ever going to heal from my 10 year relationship, 9 years married breaking up. I invested way too much and I just don't see myself having a brighter future without him. Even though overall he wasn't very nice to me.
Throldur Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 I'm around the same mark and don't really feel much better. I can function normally. I don't break down as often but I still do (mainly when I wake up, when I go to bed and when I have a shower.. sometimes when driving). She's still got fingerprints all over my heart and that is how it is going to be. Apparently time heals all.
BlackbirdSong Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 If it makes you feel any better, it took me almost a decade to get over a six year relationship (2 years married) and I NEVER thought I would get over that. Since then, I've been in three really meaningful LTRs and in my last one I felt happier than I ever had in my life. As you know though, this past break up has totally destroyed me lol. I'm sure I'll get over it eventually as I did with my divorce, but it'll take time (praying it won't take 10 years though). 2
Eranthe Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 Yes, i too am at 95 days since my breakup and also 95 days NC ... I am still struggling ... so please don't feel you are in anyway lagging in the recovery stakes. Some days I have seen rays of light where I've felt quite strong, other days I feel like I can barely get out of bed for the crying. I have had happy loving dreams about my ex for the last two nights, waking up from that is pure hell. I don't think recovery is a linear process ... I think it is up and down, but as time goes on, the ups start to outnumber the downs ... eventually. I hope you can find comfort and support in the people here on this site the way I have ... just reading everyones stories has helped me to feel less alone ... and you are not alone. It will get better
organizedchaos Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 It's been over 100 days since my breakup of a 3 year relationship. My feelings for her haven't faded in the slightest, I still love her as much as I always have. I am being productive, I write music, I exercise, I model and I try to be as social as I can. I do not expect to be better, I knew it would take a long time but for me to feel the same way over 100 days later is draining me. Even if I felt 99% the same, that 1% would at least be some consolation that I am healing. But I'm not. I do everything I can to make it stop but I'm just becoming more and more exhausted as it eats at me. I have been in other long term relationships in my life and I have slowly healed from them after the breakup. Not so in this case. I don't know what to do, the love won't fade even a fraction. That's not a lot of time after a 3 year relationship.
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 My irrational side says that if he would come back everything would be perfect. I know that's not true. I do. But the ache for him is the worst thing happening on my life. What halts most peoples healing is getting to the point where they truly want to let go of the ex and move on. A lot of people on here will say "I want to move on" but if they really dig deep will find that they actually don't. On to the confusing part! You will get to a point where you know that moving on is the best thing, but that won't change your want of being with your ex (welcome to limbo). so you will want to - want to move on. What I quoted from Darkbloom shows this fairly well. Italics being what she wants, Bold is logical thought, and finally her rationalizing her want. But what if something happens in her life that is worse than the ache for her ex? Or, she looks at her life in a new light and comes to a logical conclusion that she could be in a much worse situation? The original rationalization is no longer true, either another will take it's place or you are only left with the logical thought... welcome to acceptance. 1
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