aguywithquestions Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 I've been dating this girl for about 6 months now. At the beginning our relationship was wonderful. She liked me a lot and would always smile at the sight of me and made me very happy. She made the happiest I've felt and made me feel feelings I've never felt before. We grew very close and I came to falling in love with her. Words cannot even explain how much I loved her but now things just aren't the same. We had a little bit of a fall out and broke up. We eventually got back to togther which made me very relived though things seemed odd. We just didn't have that bond anymore. She just doesn't like me the same way she used to. She likes me sure, but its not the same. Even I found myself liking her a little less too but I keep getting drawn back towards her. It's very hard to explain but I don't know what my heart wants. I'm a young guy and don't fully understand everything but I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to break up with her, I just want things to be how they used to. I keep thinking back on our first couple dates and miss the holding of hands and kissing. It's just the absence of love hurts. Is it possible to replenish a once bond we had? Or is this a sign we should just split?
GTR King Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 you need to talk to her and discuss things & if you break up it might be for the best....
Author aguywithquestions Posted April 4, 2015 Author Posted April 4, 2015 She just wanted some time apart I guess so we broke up. Though soon after she apologized for breaking up with me and wanted to be together again. I just agreed.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 When a breakup happens, it means something didn't work out between the two of you and the emotional bond between the two of you broke. At the same time, if the time apart between the two of you wasn't long or significant enough for the issues to go away, you guys are setting yourselves up for a second break-up. Also, one of the things I read up on is that when two people get together, usually that is because there is a high-level of perceived value between the two. However, when one initiates breakup, the perceived value goes down.
TigerCub Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 She just wanted some time apart I guess so we broke up. Though soon after she apologized for breaking up with me and wanted to be together again. I just agreed. Thanks for answering. It's too bad that not 6 months into the relationship she wanted time apart, whether she regretted it or not - it ruins the momentum and it ruins the magic or those first stages of love. I mean how can things go back 'to the way the were' - when you know that for no apparent reason she wanted out. And the same goes for her - the question is: why is she with someone that she wanted a break from so early on (in the honeymoon phase). I'm sorry, I just don't think you can get thing back to the way they were. You can probably still work on a relationship and still build something strong - but that magic that excitement that came at the start can't really be recaptured. sorry if I'm a bummer - but that's my opinion. Did you ever find out why she wanted the break?
Author aguywithquestions Posted April 4, 2015 Author Posted April 4, 2015 Thanks for the responses everyone. Ever since the break up I've felt really depressed. I just rethink about the time we first kissed and our first date at the movies and I miss all of that. It just makes me sad that it's not the same. And I hate myself for being such a downer but I find myself thinking about it all the time. Our love was so sweet and new but now it's old and beat down. I'll ask her out on a date, we haven't been out together for awhile. If I can't feel the same happiness she made me feel before I'll just end things with her. Like I said I'm young and I still have a lot of time to find new people. Thought still I just miss the old us and wish there is something I could have done differently.
losangelena Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 Thanks for the responses everyone. Ever since the break up I've felt really depressed. I just rethink about the time we first kissed and our first date at the movies and I miss all of that. It just makes me sad that it's not the same. And I hate myself for being such a downer but I find myself thinking about it all the time. Our love was so sweet and new but now it's old and beat down. I'll ask her out on a date, we haven't been out together for awhile. If I can't feel the same happiness she made me feel before I'll just end things with her. Like I said I'm young and I still have a lot of time to find new people. Thought still I just miss the old us and wish there is something I could have done differently. I don't think that at 6 months your love should feel beat down and old. Things do change in relationships, however, and if you find yourself romanticizing the early dates and first kisses, that makes me think that it's not this girl you were into so much as the feeling of being "in love," that is, all the mushy feelings. That's not love though, that's limmerance, that's infatuation, and you're right, those things do fade. Love is what remains when, after the mushy stuff fades, you still can look at that person and smile and want to be around them despite all their junk and annoying qualities. Just move on, OP. If you're as young as you sound, you still have plenty of time to figure it all out.
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