Megas10 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 So asked over whatsapp and she respond : i would love to! Later she texted we could invite some friends and i texted back: but i was telling to go just us. And she responded ooh, i thought it would be more fun to go with friends. We agreed that she would set the day cause she might have a trip with her familiy Friendzoned? What to do?
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 So asked over whatsapp and she respond : i would love to! Later she texted we could invite some friends and i texted back: but i was telling to go just us. And she responded ooh, i thought it would be more fun to go with friends. We agreed that she would set the day cause she might have a trip with her familiy Friendzoned? What to do? Haha... Yeah you got friendzoned. You walked into the trap by telling her you wanted it to be just you two. After she said to bring friends, I would have been like "Yeah, that sounds great!" and then stopped responding.
d0nnivain Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 It's probably more that she is nervous being alone with a boy or her parents only allow group dates. I don't think it's friendzone but it could be so you have to be circumspect.
Author Megas10 Posted April 3, 2015 Author Posted April 3, 2015 It's probably more that she is nervous being alone with a boy or her parents only allow group dates. I don't think it's friendzone but it could be so you have to be circumspect. Oh i know she has done this with other boys. She is a very social person
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 It's probably more that she is nervous being alone with a boy or her parents only allow group dates. I don't think it's friendzone but it could be so you have to be circumspect. I'm pretty sure he's clearly being friendzoned. The way she responded with such confidence to him about making it a group "hang", tells me that she doesn't want it to be romantic.
d0nnivain Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 I'm pretty sure he's clearly being friendzoned. The way she responded with such confidence to him about making it a group "hang", tells me that she doesn't want it to be romantic. Barcode -- you are bright perceptive GUY. But you have never been a 16 year old girl. Just because she might not want it to be romantic doesn't mean she's automatically friendzoning the guy (in a bad sense). Not all teenage girls are sex crazed sluts. At 16 I was scared of boys & the thought of being alone with one filled me with tremendous anxiety. I needed him to be more understanding & friendly so that I could gage his trustworthiness. I can't rule out that she's friendzoning the OP but there are other explanations for her behavior. OP, what do you mean "she's done this with other boys. She is a very social person"? Are you saying she routinely friendzones guys or that she refuses to be alone with a boy?
Author Megas10 Posted April 3, 2015 Author Posted April 3, 2015 Barcode -- you are bright perceptive GUY. But you have never been a 16 year old girl. Just because she might not want it to be romantic doesn't mean she's automatically friendzoning the guy (in a bad sense). Not all teenage girls are sex crazed sluts. At 16 I was scared of boys & the thought of being alone with one filled me with tremendous anxiety. I needed him to be more understanding & friendly so that I could gage his trustworthiness. I can't rule out that she's friendzoning the OP but there are other explanations for her behavior. OP, what do you mean "she's done this with other boys. She is a very social person"? Are you saying she routinely friendzones guys or that she refuses to be alone with a boy? I mean she dates boy and has had BFs. Her parents are not a problem
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Barcode -- you are bright perceptive GUY. But you have never been a 16 year old girl. Just because she might not want it to be romantic doesn't mean she's automatically friendzoning the guy (in a bad sense). Not all teenage girls are sex crazed sluts. At 16 I was scared of boys & the thought of being alone with one filled me with tremendous anxiety. I needed him to be more understanding & friendly so that I could gage his trustworthiness. I can't rule out that she's friendzoning the OP but there are other explanations for her behavior. OP, what do you mean "she's done this with other boys. She is a very social person"? Are you saying she routinely friendzones guys or that she refuses to be alone with a boy? I never really brought up sex into the discussion, being friendzoned has nothing to do with sex. If he is friendzoned he won't make out with this girl, or even kiss her for that matter. You ARE right not all teenagers do have sex. The way the OP quoted this girl she seems to be confident about handling advances from boys, and probably knows what she is doing. That is why I jumped to the conclusion that I did. If she was really shy about it, and the OP didn't mention that she's done this to other guys, I'd be more inclined to agree but that isn't the case. I WOULD recommend the OP just cuts this one loose and tries elsewhere since it sounds like a bunch of games... But if I remember HS correctly it was all games to begin with, so it probably doesn't matter -_- lol. OP if she's had boyfriends and dates guys, you're in the friendzone. She wouldn't suggest a group hang if she wanted to be intimate with you.
Author Megas10 Posted April 3, 2015 Author Posted April 3, 2015 I never really brought up sex into the discussion, being friendzoned has nothing to do with sex. If he is friendzoned he won't make out with this girl, or even kiss her for that matter. You ARE right not all teenagers do have sex. The way the OP quoted this girl she seems to be confident about handling advances from boys, and probably knows what she is doing. That is why I jumped to the conclusion that I did. If she was really shy about it, and the OP didn't mention that she's done this to other guys, I'd be more inclined to agree but that isn't the case. I WOULD recommend the OP just cuts this one loose and tries elsewhere since it sounds like a bunch of games... But if I remember HS correctly it was all games to begin with, so it probably doesn't matter -_- lol. OP if she's had boyfriends and dates guys, you're in the friendzone. She wouldn't suggest a group hang if she wanted to be intimate with you. I don't know if she has friendzoned anyone. I know she is easy to get into for what can i tell. e.x she broke with 1 year bf, 2 weeks later she started dating another one, 1 month later came back with old bf and now the split again.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 I don't know if she has friendzoned anyone. I know she is easy to get into for what can i tell. e.x she broke with 1 year bf, 2 weeks later she started dating another one, 1 month later came back with old bf and now the split again. Well she friendzoned you that's for sure. But yeah her dating behavior sounds typical of teenage girls.
Frank2thepoint Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 You guys are young. She's nervous, so she wanted to bring friends along. Who knows, you guys could end up playing spin the bottle.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 I don't know if she has friendzoned anyone. I know she is easy to get into for what can i tell. e.x she broke with 1 year bf, 2 weeks later she started dating another one, 1 month later came back with old bf and now the split again. You guys are young. She's nervous, so she wanted to bring friends along. Who knows, you guys could end up playing spin the bottle. Nervous huh? She sounds like she knows what she's doing to me.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Your instincts were definitely right not to want a "group date". But unfortunately you came off like you were begging to be alone with her. Now if I had been in your situation, I would have Flirted using playful cockiness to get her to see me in more of a romantic context. Then I would back away playing a bit hard to get. Observe : Her - Let's bring some friends along today! Me - Now it's obvious you have a crush on me. Her - Oh really? Me - You don't trust yourself to be alone with me. ;-) Her - Haha.. You're so silly. ;-) Me - It's weird though because I was just about to text you Her - Why? Me - I forgot that (insert excuse) so I can't see you. Her - That's too bad! Me - You and me will get together next week, and I'll test your will power then cutie. ;-) Her - Sounds fun! I'd give it 4-5 days of breathing room after that. She spends time thinking about me differently then she did before and getting excited about the possibility of a date. Then I reach out and ask when she's free. Now I want to stress that once you're in the friend zone, there is no getting out. That crap only works in the movies. But if you haven't been added yet, it is possible to change a woman's mindset with the right amount of confidence and flirtation. Unfortunately though, impressions are made in an instant and if you don't know how to be quick on your feet and adapt, you'll always be friend zoned in situations like this. 2
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Your instincts were definitely right not to want a "group date". But unfortunately you came off like you were begging to be alone with her. Now if I had been in your situation, I would have Flirted using playful cockiness to get her to see me in more of a romantic context. Then I would back away playing a bit hard to get. Observe : Her - Let's bring some friends along today! Me - Now it's obvious you have a crush on me. Her - Oh really? Me - You don't trust yourself to be alone with me. ;-) Her - Haha.. You're so silly. ;-) Me - It's weird though because I was just about to text you Her - Why? Me - I forgot that (insert excuse) so I can't see you. Her - That's too bad! Me - You and me will get together next week, and I'll test your will power then cutie. ;-) Her - Sounds fun! I'd give it 4-5 days of breathing room after that. She spends time thinking about me differently then she did before and getting excited about the possibility of a date. Then I reach out and ask when she's free. Now I want to stress that once you're in the friend zone, there is no getting out. That crap only works in the movies. But if you haven't been added yet, it is possible to change a woman's mindset with the right amount of confidence and flirtation. Unfortunately though, impressions are made in an instant and if you don't know how to be quick on your feet and adapt, you'll always be friend zoned in situations like this. Fitnessfan saves the day
Strength in Healing Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Barcode is right. And fitness, my man, you are smooth. That's something I'd do. One of my favorite things to do with a girl I like is to tell her I want to show her a magic trick! When she gets excited, I say "Let me see your hands." I hold her hands and stare at them, grinning, for about ten seconds. Then I slowly look up into her eyes and smile and say "You know, I don't know any magic tricks, I just wanted to hold your hand ;)" All about being smooth. 1
d0nnivain Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 If she's had other BFs she may not be as scared of boys as I was at 16. But unless the OP has info about how her relationships with those other Boys started this may be her way of getting her friends approval, which can be important at that age. Barcode -- maybe I'm naïve but at 16 kissing is on the sex scale. I wasn't accusing you of bringing sex into the discussion. I was saying, before I knew she had other BFs, that perhaps the girl in Q was worried about kissing a boy. As smooth as the adult men are on this site, what they are suggesting to a 17 year old child may be beyond his skills at this point. Hopefully hell grow into that but baby steps, boys, baby steps. Megas10 -- armed with the additional info in your subsequent posts, it is more probable than not that she does not see you as a BF, sorry. You will get full confirmation of that on this group outing but keep your expectations low and don't be afraid to walk away if she is offering you less than what you want, her as a GF
Strength in Healing Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 You're just a dumb jackass. takes a really stupid girl to fall for this. Jackass, maybe. Dumb, though? Lol. Top of my class in my doctorate, thanks. I smell jealousy though, smells good.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 If she's had other BFs she may not be as scared of boys as I was at 16. But unless the OP has info about how her relationships with those other Boys started this may be her way of getting her friends approval, which can be important at that age. Barcode -- maybe I'm naïve but at 16 kissing is on the sex scale. I wasn't accusing you of bringing sex into the discussion. I was saying, before I knew she had other BFs, that perhaps the girl in Q was worried about kissing a boy. As smooth as the adult men are on this site, what they are suggesting to a 17 year old child may be beyond his skills at this point. Hopefully hell grow into that but baby steps, boys, baby steps. Megas10 -- armed with the additional info in your subsequent posts, it is more probable than not that she does not see you as a BF, sorry. You will get full confirmation of that on this group outing but keep your expectations low and don't be afraid to walk away if she is offering you less than what you want, her as a GF Haha... Well I am 26 now, but people were kissing/making out by the 8th grade, and by the time I was midway through high school, it was pretty normal lol But yeah I understand what you're saying about the age diff.
Author Megas10 Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 (edited) Long story short i got "friendzoned" by 1 year crush (asked her for a date over whatsapp and she said yes but asked to invite friends. Said no to this a told her to be one on one. She would text me this week becaused she had a "family trip" in this holiday. Never contacted me since ). It's has been a week since it happened. Can't get over her, she is so perfect for me. Cute, smart, athletic, enthusiastic, cheerful, warm and i am a little shy, warm when asked, very secure of the decisions i take, also smart and athletic.She is the average teenager girl who has lots of love relationships. The point is that i want to get things straight with her beacause i hate dramas (im seeing her tomorrow at school). Want to tell her that i don't want to just be friends and won't stand that. That i know i will spoil the friendship but it's how i feel. But i don't know how to set the situation for me to tell her that. Any ideason how to set up the situation? We go to the same school and that's it. Have the same schedule till we get out of there. Any other words o phrases i could use? tl;dr Want to get things straight with crush . Don't know how or when. Edited April 5, 2015 by Megas10
fitnessfan365 Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 You probably should have just continued this in the same thread. But since you have no desire to be friends with her, you need to walk away from the girl. It's not like the movies where the guy in the friend zone hangs around and she eventually changes her mind. If she texts you about getting together, or approaches you at school for a group hang out, etc simply say "You're way too hot and cool in general to just be friends with. So if you change your mind, give me a call. Otherwise, we should part ways." Then you walk away and never look back. There are two reasons why you do this. 1) Being "friends" with a girl you like is miserable. It's no way to live. I mean do you really want to be her crying shoulder and therapist listening to all her guy problems? 2) The only way to force a woman to see what she had, is to take it away from her. Now realistically nothing will probably happen. However, there is always a small chance that not having you in her life will cause her to miss you and think about you differently. So that's why you need to be direct with her and then walk away trying to date other girls. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 OP you don't need to set the record straight, just avoid her. If she contacts you, say what fitness fan said. You're honestly going to make drama out of it if you go set the record straight with her. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 OP you don't need to set the record straight, just avoid her. If she contacts you, say what fitness fan said. You're honestly going to make drama out of it if you go set the record straight with her. Exactly. No contact and complete avoidance is the way to go. IF she approaches or contacts you, that is when you let her know that you have no interest in friendship and for her to call you if she changes her mind. But other than that, she is dead to you for all intense purposes. 2
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