Ashley S Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Hi! So, there's this guy I like (Anthony). I sent his a friend request on Facebook by accident because he has mutual friends. I don't know him personally, but a lot of my friends know him. He accepted it, and he would put like up to my posts, and he said he knew my dad, and my uncle, and what not. He seemed like a cool guy, he's 30 years old, but looks like he would be my age. He's really good looking. He all of a sudden stopped liking my posts, and didn't really speak to me. My friend who is best friends with him said "Anthony said that you were going to visit him in Florida. He said you guys talk all the time." I said "I never had a conversation with him, I don't talk to him all the time haha, and I never said I was going to visit him in Florida." My friend said "Well, he lies all the time." Then out of nowhere Anthony messages me on Facebook a couple of weeks later, and says "Hey babe. I am going back up to Maryland. I will be in (the area he said) Once I am up there, do you want to hangout?" I said "Yeah, I will hang out with you sometime lol." He said "Ok, lol." So if a guy says he wants to "hangout" does he actually mean "hookup"? Or really does he want to "hangout"? Is he basically asking me out on a date in a way? Lol, I don't want to give the wrong impression. I am not the type that hooks up with guys, I like to date guys and build trust with them. What do you think? Thanks.
carhill Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 There's a member here who has 'hanging out is the new dating' in their signature line and perhaps that has traction these days in the younger generations. For myself, I 'hang out' with male friends talking cars and drinking beer. I 'date' women. Given this is distance stuff, it sounds like anyway, I would tend to believe hangout = casual sex. 3
Phoe Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 To me, hang out is hanging out. When someone wants to hang out, it is a platonic thing. That being said, he called you babe, which to me is not platonic. I'd say he wants to hook up. If only folks said what they meant, and meant what they said. A lot less vagueness and confusion for everyone. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 I made a thread about this a month back when a girl asked me to "hang out" lol. I think it's pretty synonymous with "date". Most likely used to take the pressure off the expectations of it being a date. If he says "Hang out" and its a public activity like a date would be, it's a date. If he says hang out and asks you back to his place, he wants to bone! lol. 2
acrosstheuniverse Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 I tend to assume hang out means, spend time around each other, see if you get along. I think people use it when they're not sure about you, don't wanna take you out on a date, but they want to see you. Whether their intentions are sex or not is pretty irrelevant, just hang out in a public place where you're not going to be able to have sex. Unless it's in your plan too. I wouldn't accept a 'hang out' from a guy if I was interested in him. I would probably jokingly (not jokingly) reply that he could take me on a date if he was interested. It kinda sets the tone already that you're not looking to be treated like one of his male buddies, you want to be treated with respect and for him to put some effort into seeing you. Maybe that's weirdly old-fashioned, but when I started talking to my boyfriend he invited me out to hang out with him and his friends in a pub for drinks and I declined, as I wasn't gonna have him think I had nothing better to do than tag along with him and his mates, plus it would have been super awkward meeting them as well as him for the first time. So I said he could take me out for a drink one on one and he set the date up. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Don't overthink it, it's just words. If he asks you to hangout and it sounds like a date, don't get hungup over it. 1
shvrk Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 I'm sure youll find out when you hang out. Most of the time though, if its just the two of you and since he's much older, he's just probably just trying to have sex... Idk 1
Strength in Healing Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Well, honestly, if I messaged a girl something like that, it would be with bad intentions. However, I steer clear of random hookups... but still, if I saw a guy say that, I would assume the worst lol. "Babe" at the beginning sealed it. 1
Frank2thepoint Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 He called you babe. He wants to hangout by being naked with you. Once you're clothed, he won't remember who you are. 1
Diezel Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Florida to Maryland... babe... hangout. May the pill be with you. 4
ZA Dater Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 To me, hang out is hanging out. When someone wants to hang out, it is a platonic thing. Tend to agree with this but its very open to interpretation and to be honest most guys I think ultimately have an ulterior motive...perhaps. One way to get around this is to just be plain and up front that you wont be hooking up, if he still wants to hang out then cool and if not, well you can see his ulterior motive. 1
Gary S Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Let me put it this way... it's probably not going to be a relationship because only one in 1,000 long distance ones work out. 1
carhill Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 (edited) Tend to agree with this but its very open to interpretation and to be honest most guys I think ultimately have an ulterior motive...perhaps. Yeah, it varies. If this was a local guy whom had crossed paths with the OP on numerous occasions, had rapport and asked her to 'hang out', that could be perceived more as a platonic thing like the quoted member indicated for herself. IMO, given the description provided by the OP, less likely. One way to get around this is to just be plain and up front that you wont be hooking up, if he still wants to hang out then cool and if not, well you can see his ulterior motive.If everyone was straight up and honest, that could work and, in any event, is a front-end disclaimer; however, a smooth guy can take that and run with it, essentially telling the lady what she wants to hear and letting his 'good looking' (her words) do the rest in person. Unknown how it would go since it hasn't happened yet. Only way to know is to go. If the glove doesn't fit you must acquit (my allusion to 'smooth talk'). Edited April 3, 2015 by carhill 'good looking' not 'hot' 1
Phoe Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Yeah, it varies. If this was a local guy whom had crossed paths with the OP on numerous occasions, had rapport and asked her to 'hang out', that could be perceived more as a platonic thing like the quoted member indicated for herself. IMO, given the description provided by the OP, less likely. Precisely. The most common scenario I personally see when people ask to hang out, is like the scenario mentioned above. Local people who know each other, have rapport, and genuinely want to partake in an activity (that isn't boning!) together. But given the "babe" and the desire to travel cross-country, he surely isn't wanting to go bowling with her... 1
carhill Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 But given the "babe" and the desire to travel cross-country, he surely isn't wanting to go bowling with her... Yup, while she's thinking about a cool hangout at the lanes, he's seeing this And 'strike' and 'score' and a 'perfect game' take on completely different context. Why? That's how guys are. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 I would assume he's looking for a hook-up in this case. You live far apart and have never met. I don't imagine he's interested in a date-type "hangout" because where would it go? Also, you say you like him but don't know him personally. Can you elaborate on what you mean? How do you know you like him if he's a virtual stranger? Be wary if his own best friend describes him as a liar. Also, the use of "babe" when you don't know each other in person is a bit odd (in my opinion) Smells a little player-ish. 1
Author Ashley S Posted April 3, 2015 Author Posted April 3, 2015 Ok, I am going to give full details. What happened was I was checking this guy's profile out on Facebook because he was a "suggested friend" and I saw that he had 12 mutual friends. So, I meant to press the "about" part of the page, but I accidentally hit "Friend request", and I figured "Eh, screw it!" So, he accepted it, and then my cousin's boyfriend Jon saw that me and Anthony are friends on FB, and he said "How do you know Anthony?" I said I didn't, and so Jon called up Anthony on a three way phone call, I wasn't on the other end, the three way call was between my cousin, Jon, and Anthony, and said "Hey Anthony! I saw that you added Ashley S on your FB. Do you know her dude?" Anthony said "Yeah, I know her. We use to hangout back in the day, and she's coming down to Florida to see me dude." "We talk all the time." My cousin told me this, and Jon. I said I never hung out with him, and I never said I was going to Florida to see him lol. Jon said "Yeah all he does is lie, so I am not surprised!" Then my cousin and Jon, and a few other friends kept teasing me about Anthony. Anthony started commenting on my posts, and likening stuff, and saying "I know your dad and your uncle." I said I was at a strip club, and he said "I use to strip lol!" I said "Haha, that is something I would like to see!" He said "Anything for you lol." But I stopped it right there because I didn't know much about him. He is from Maryland, but he was staying in Florida for a couple of months because his family is rich, and so he's been staying down there. Now, he's moving back, and that is when he messaged me saying "Hey babe. I am moving back to (the area) When I get back do you wanna hangout?" Now see I don't know if my friends were being *******s and really amped it up with him, and made him believe that I really really liked him? I do like him, but I don't know if they made him believe that I am super infatuated with him or something? I have no idea. I do like him from his Facebook, and the stories I heard from my friends.
regine_phalange Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 So he's a liar? Did I understand correctly? And you worry about whether you appear smitten instead of that? 1
fitnessfan365 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 1) Ashley, how do you like a guy that you don't know personally? I'm assuming you're just crushing on his looks? 2) The fact that he called you "babe" already, mentioned a strip club, etc are signs he just wants to f**k. Especially since he lives in another state. 2
Vercetti Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Hey babe just got a new bong and I lie all the time, I'm in your neck of the woods want to hangout and talk about star wars. Have some discretion please...or don't. 1
xpaperxcutx Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 When you said you "like" the guy, we assumed that you had interactions with him to build up this attraction. What you basically described in your post is that you became attracted to him because of social media and the lackluster attention he was giving you. As a female, I can tell you that when a guy starts using intimate names like "babe" over social media, it means that they are usually looking for an easy lay or hookup. You sound young so it's very easy to fall in love with guys you don't know. I would be very skeptical and cautious as to his intentions because all men in general, are not afraid to push the boundaries of how far a girl is willing to go. This means that if he is trying to see how easy you are and how easily you are willing to give it. Look at his actions, not the words he say. Right now I'm sure you're kind of on a high that this guy is interested in you. But give it some time and wait until he goes back up to Maryland and see what he does then. And never put your heart on your sleeves. Learn to protect it especially since we are all emotional as opposed to logical. 1
Author Ashley S Posted April 4, 2015 Author Posted April 4, 2015 1) Ashley, how do you like a guy that you don't know personally? I'm assuming you're just crushing on his looks? 2) The fact that he called you "babe" already, mentioned a strip club, etc are signs he just wants to f**k. Especially since he lives in another state. I don't know how to explain it, I heard his voice, and him talking to his friend Jon, because Jon said "I'm calling Anthony" I said "Hi" to Anthony, but then he got all quiet and awkward lol. He didn't say it back, and he got really quiet Jon started laughing and hung up on him lol. I like him from the stories I heard, and I am physically attracted to him. It's definitely a physical attraction because I don't know him personally, but I do like him. I am just not super infatuated, and I have a feeling Jon made it out that way to him. I definitely would need to meet him to have a strong liking because I am basing all of my liking on physical attraction right now, he's really cute, and good looking lol. Yeah, you're probably right! He probably does just want to hook up
hotpotato Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 Ya, he wants to hang out with your vjay! If he recommends yall hang out somewhere private (car, room, etc), he def wants sex. Personally, ive met very few men who wanted to just hangout. Did he also ask if you want to watch a movie and cuddle? You must be really young. This man is already lying, and you two havent even met
LookAtThisPOst Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 Don't overthink it, it's just words. If he asks you to hangout and it sounds like a date, don't get hungup over it. Actually with some women, or a lot, clarification is required. That being said, the one thing someone SHOULDN'T have to be asking while ON a date is, "Is this a date??"
edgygirl Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 Ashley I don't want to be mean, but saying this with the lol in the end makes you sound not serious - "Yeah, I will hang out with you sometime lol." I use lol but when you don't know someone that well nor their intention perhaps it's good to be careful with lol-ing too much. I would straight out ask him if he's asking you on a date. I once went on a "meeting" with a former cute co-worker and I had no idea what his intentions were. Turned out it was just hanging out / networking and I felt a little pathetic for thinking he might be interested romantically or so. Hi! So, there's this guy I like (Anthony). I sent his a friend request on Facebook by accident because he has mutual friends. I don't know him personally, but a lot of my friends know him. He accepted it, and he would put like up to my posts, and he said he knew my dad, and my uncle, and what not. He seemed like a cool guy, he's 30 years old, but looks like he would be my age. He's really good looking. He all of a sudden stopped liking my posts, and didn't really speak to me. My friend who is best friends with him said "Anthony said that you were going to visit him in Florida. He said you guys talk all the time." I said "I never had a conversation with him, I don't talk to him all the time haha, and I never said I was going to visit him in Florida." My friend said "Well, he lies all the time." Then out of nowhere Anthony messages me on Facebook a couple of weeks later, and says "Hey babe. I am going back up to Maryland. I will be in (the area he said) Once I am up there, do you want to hangout?" I said "Yeah, I will hang out with you sometime lol." He said "Ok, lol." So if a guy says he wants to "hangout" does he actually mean "hookup"? Or really does he want to "hangout"? Is he basically asking me out on a date in a way? Lol, I don't want to give the wrong impression. I am not the type that hooks up with guys, I like to date guys and build trust with them. What do you think? Thanks.
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