chrissypoo Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 My boyfriend and i have a very stable relationship. I can honestly say that i love him with all my heart and i know that he loves me. However he recently found out that his ex is pregnant with his child. It hurts so much simply because the future that we were suppose to have together he is now about to share it with someone else. The girl wants to be with him. And he parents think the same thing. However i asked him if he loved her and he said no. He has love for her but that he isnt in love with her. He kept this from me for a few days because he didnt know how i was going to take it. But i knew something was wrong because he was always on edge and snappy about everything. We havent spoken since yesterday when he told me because he was suppose to be meeting with the girl and today he is suppose to be meeting her parents. Their relationship was brief but however a baby changes everything and he wants to be involved with his child. I support him 100%. My only concern is that i dont want him to leave and give up on us thinking thats what he has to do. And i dont want anyone telling me that there are other people out there because i know that and i dont want them. I want him. The past day and a half all i do is cry and lay in my bed. My biggest fear is losing him. And with him not communicating is making me feel like ive already lost him. Should i be concerned? Or should i just continue to give him space? I dont know what else to do. Hes stressed out and overwhelmed and all i want to do is tell him how much i love him and that ill be by his side. However now just isnt the right time to let him hear that. He knows how i feel about him. And this other girl is aware of us but i dont think she cares. Help me please... What am i to do?
Quiet Storm Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 There isn't much you can do. He's probably considering being with her. You said he "has love for her", so he's likely wondering if his feelings for her could grow. How long have you two been together? It can't be very long if he recently got someone pregnant. Are you sure you want to deal with this baby mama drama for a guy you haven't even been with that long? It's about the baby now. It would be best for the kid if the parents are together. Many guys don't like the idea of another man living with their child, so normally a standup good guy will at least try to make it work with the child's mother If the mother wants to. Deadbeat dad's wouldn't care about that, though. You two may be in love, but it's new relationship love. That might fade and he knows that, so he may choose to invest himself in this pregnancy and consider making a family with his child's mother. You should just back away and let him figure it out. He has a lot to think about. I think you should prepare yourself for the reality that you may lose him. 1
d0nnivain Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 My boyfriend and i have a very stable relationship. I can honestly say that i love him with all my heart and i know that he loves me. However he recently found out that his ex is pregnant with his child. What am i to do? What you are to do is understand that you and your BF do not have a very stable loving relationship. At best it was OK but now has been turned upside down. If the EX is still pregnant, it's been less than 9 months that he was with her, before he met you. Even if he met you the day after he impregnated her, you two haven't been together that long. If he needs to step up to the plate & do right by his child, which is a great thing, you have to understand that this baby & the mother will be a part of your BF's life forever. Are you ready to deal with that? Why is losing him your biggest fear? He's just a guy. You will still have your life, your health, your future. You will survive. Nobody dies from a broken heart. Be happy you have the ability to pick men who know how to do the right thing.
Author chrissypoo Posted April 3, 2015 Author Posted April 3, 2015 When i met him he chased after me for about 5 months. I entertained him but he knew i didnt take him seriously because ive been repeatedly hurt in my past. One day i just up and stopped talking to him because i felt myself falling for him. He then went on to date this girl for about a month before he decided to leave her because he wasnt happy. When he told me what happened i was understanding and i understood why he went to be with someone else. They were talking but didnt actually date but for about a week but i count the talking frame as well. Now she is saying that she is pregnant and he is willing to go to the doctor with her. But as much as he wants to be a great dad its irrational to be with someone just because they are having his baby. Thats my problem. I don't know what to do because i do love him and we may not have been together for years but I've been dealing with him long enough to know hoe i feel. Ive prepared myself for the worst. Its just the waiting game that is killing me. I just want to know you know? I do support him and i am willing to deal with her forever being a part of his life. Ive dated guys with baby mama drama before im just hoping that it doesnt have to be that way with him.
Diezel Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 You honestly don't think he is going to have "baby mama drama"? Sorry to tell you, but she will always be in his life to some degree as long as they are having a child together. He will probably be there the baby is born, etc, etc, etc.... just things to consider.
Author chrissypoo Posted April 3, 2015 Author Posted April 3, 2015 That to me is being an active father...i just hope that she can be mature about the situation and have a civil conversation about this. But with her parents involved and they are alreadyd rilling into her head that "being together is the only way to go otherwise its abortion" which is stupid because the baby did nothing wrong. The baby didnt ask to be here. Im skeptical that its even his but she says it is so i have no idea what to believe honestly..
Lurkeraspect Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 If this girl is pregnant and you decide to stick with this guy, you are signing up for decades of baby mama drama. Thing is, you don't know how she's going to respond, what she will do, what sort of a wedge she will attempt to put between you and your boyfriend. Personally, I'd opt out of this situation. But, if you proceed, just truly understand what you're signing up for. He will always be tied to her, have to deal with her, FOR DECADES and beyond.
preraph Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 I know this has you scared and sad, but try to be a little objective. This is a guy who wasn't responsible and mature enough to use birth control when having casual sex. How great of a catch can he be? 3
Recommended Posts