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Posted

Does anybody else think terms such as BPD, GIGS etc are thrown around way too often? I read so many threads where someone is like "my ex has BPD" or "she has GIGS".

 

Can't people just accept that someone broke up with them because they no longer wanted to be with that person? rather than use these terms to justify why their ex is behaving like they are?

 

Sure, there are cases were someone will actually be diagnosed with BPD and others were an ex might think there is better out there (GIGS)...but surely these things are thrown about too often? A lot of the time it just looks like excuses more than anything, relationships fail all the time, are these terms really necessary?

 

Thoughts?

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Posted
Does anybody else think terms such as BPD, GIGS etc are thrown around way too often? I read so many threads where someone is like "my ex has BPD" or "she has GIGS".

 

Can't people just accept that someone broke up with them because they no longer wanted to be with that person? rather than use these terms to justify why their ex is behaving like they are?

 

Sure, there are cases were someone will actually be diagnosed with BPD and others were an ex might think there is better out there (GIGS)...but surely these things are thrown about too often? A lot of the time it just looks like excuses more than anything, relationships fail all the time, are these terms really necessary?

 

Thoughts?

 

If it gives them closure, why does it matter? I think that no matter WHAT the reason why a relationship fails, we can all use some inspection of the relationship and see what we did wrong and could do better in the future.

 

I truly do think that my Ex left because of GIGS. Reading through the whole thing, it just made complete sense and in line with what happened. Does that mean I'm going to absolve myself of any blame? No. I need to compromise better. I need to do a better job of integrating their family/friends into things. I need to do a better job of communicating that I see a future with that person and sometimes being too rational/logical isn't the way to go and girls need some of that Disney love, we'll be together forever, nothing can stop us.. I need to not be so afraid of conflict and if things are bothering us, better to get to the root of it than let it fester.

 

On the other hand, it's not entirely my fault. She should have had my back and defended me against people who had anything to say about our relationship (who had no information about it, just were causing **** since they had feelings for my gf). She should not have continued to talk to this guy. She should have told me her feelings. If she had issues, she should have brought them up. She needs to focus on positive things and not always dwell on the one thing that is wrong but all the things that are right. Nothing is perfect.

Posted

Yes, absolutely. GIGS isn't a syndrome; wanting to try new things is a fundamental part of being young. The BPD thing is especially bad. Personality disorders are already controversial diagnoses and BPD's diagnostic criteria is so broad it could feasibly apply to most people at one point or another. Same as NPD.

 

Armchair diagnoses make break-ups easier. "S/he didn't want to be with me anymore" is tough to accept. "There's something wrong with him/her" lets us feel like victims and absolves us of responsiblity for anything that went wrong.

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Posted

In general, LS is a layperson discussion forum where people offer opinions about topics.

 

At the bottom of every forum page one finds this:

 

"Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number."

 

People explore whether their experiences match up with what they know and read about GIGS/BPD, etc, and take away from the discussions what they choose. Sometimes that's nothing; sometimes there's new insight gained. Life is nothing if not a journey of discovery.

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Posted
Yes, absolutely. GIGS isn't a syndrome; wanting to try new things is a fundamental part of being young. The BPD thing is especially bad. Personality disorders are already controversial diagnoses and BPD's diagnostic criteria is so broad it could feasibly apply to most people at one point or another. Same as NPD.

 

Armchair diagnoses make break-ups easier. "S/he didn't want to be with me anymore" is tough to accept. "There's something wrong with him/her" lets us feel like victims and absolves us of responsiblity for anything that went wrong.

 

I agree, with young people it is rare they meet someone at 18 years of age and spend the rest of their lives with them. Young people want to see new things, experience new people rather than be tied down for the rest of their lives. It's not 'GIGS', it's just life.

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