embeu Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 My girlfriend of 6 months broke up with me desember 2014. She is 22 and i am 29. The last 2 months we had a long distance relationship that at first we were both very eager to make work. The last month she became very distant, and told me she didnt feel the spark anymore. She broke up with me over a text saying something like "this is something i have been writing on for a couple of days, and i feel we should break up. The spark is gone". There have never been any form of violence or abuse from either side, and we have never fought or argued. I was her first boyfriend. We havent communicated in any way since desember 2014 (only a couple of emails from me without any response) I understand that a 22 year old female living in another country is not the most stable person when it comes to managing feeling and keeping a working relationship. This is something I accept, I just wish I had listened to my gut feeling and ended it before she left. Anyway, i fell madly in love and wanted to live a fantasy that was bound to break. But my big problem is that i never got to have the breakup-talk that i have had with all of my exes. I have never been so down after i break up as i have been with this one. I dont know if my problem is deeper, and that beeing rejected from her is making some of my deeper personal problems resurface. I have written her a couple of emails (just 2-3) over the past 5 months with no response. The emails i wrote was about how i felt the breakup, and i hoped that when reading it she would understand my problems. Without an answer I am wondering if she understood what i meant or not, or if she just dont want to talk to me. I dont think she met someone else, allthough one can never be sure. She said no when i asked her, and she is not that kind of person. As i am sitting here in my misery i wrote something down. I know its a bad idea to send it, and that it makes me look pathetic. The point is that i am desperat for answers, and i dont think i can find them without her inputs. Here is the email: "I feel a bit lost about the things i have writting to you in my past emails, and that i have done it imulsively. This is very clear now that i know after the fact that i got no response from you. I hoped you would understand what i wanted reading between the lines and i am sitting here wondering maybe you didnt get the message i was trying to send. I want you to know that i hate myself for writing this to you. Its not something that i am proud to do, and right now i feel like that desperate person i regarded my former exes to be when they have been contacting me in the past. My goal is not to get back together with you. I want to put what happened between us in the past, but i just cant sort out my thoughts after you broke up with me. This is something that is keepin me from moving on with other women. I feel there is something very important missing, the final breakup talk. This is something you would not give me, and i feel very bitter about not getting it. This has tomented me every day since the breakup and i feel neglected and not cared for at all. The emails I sent after the breakup just made things worse because i didnt get any response. Going day to day hoping to get a response you feel you deserve from someone you believe will give it to you is hard. I feel like a bad and selfish person sending you this. I dont expect you to understand what i am going through because i wouldnt understood it myself 1 year ago. I think this is somethin you have to experience to understand. With this email i would like to demean myself and beg you to please have that final talk with me, one that i honestly feel i never had and that i desverved months back. If this is something you dont want to do then i hope you at least write back telling me that. I just want to shut this door behind me and move on. " I dont know what to do and i need help. Do i come off as a total desperate idiot for sending a letter like this? I seriously need help sorting my own feelings out, and i am afraid i cant do it on my own!
Throldur Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Nothing she is going to tell you is going to make any difference.. We all want closure but we don't really ever get it.. because people lie. She might tell you something, she might not, but whatever she tells you probably won't be the reason. You guys were in a long distance relationships. Those things are almost always doomed. She's a lot younger than you and she probably got out there away from you, saw freedom, wants to explore her surroundings and enjoy her youth. Sending another letter is only going to make you look weak and desperate. Don't do it. Accept we sometimes never get the answers and realize the why isn't important.. it is what it is. Nothing she says to you is going to change that it is over. 1
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