Alan_17 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 has anyone had their ex gf cheat on them then return, if so how long and what did you do
AaronSG Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Personally speaking back in 2008 my ex-wife cheated on me, lead to me filing divorce papers and putting her in my rear view mirror! About 2 years later, "buyers remorse", she was swaying from the man she cheated on me with and was beginning to talk as if she wanted back in with me. What did I do? I let her grovel for a while, I let her pout about her life for a while, I even let her go so far as to say it to my face......"I made a mistake"! As she did with me, cheat me out of a wife, I returned the favor and cheated her out of the opportunity to have what she at the time was wanting the most....."me"! Once again I kicked her, and her little pipe dream to the curb with the quickness! I'm all for relationships starting back up after some time off, but personally for me, I will never start back up a relationship that was destroyed by cheating.........."never going to happen"! I would never start back up a relationship with someone that the very relationship was destroyed by cheating! I don't deserve to always be worrying about "watching my back" and perhaps always "second guessing" what my lady might tell me! It's all on you Alan_17 , but personally speaking would you really want a former cheating girlfriend to come back? Would you ever really want to make the choice to allow that person romantically back into your life? Do you want to take a chance of always "watching your back" and "second guessing" what she might be saying? But most important here, do you want to take back someone who cheated on you, for nothing more than to "roll the dice" and gamble on the hopes that it would never happen again? I wouldn't gamble on that, the stakes are to high, the price is to great! "My 2 Cents"! 3
OneBigIdgit Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 I had an ex-wife who cheated, divorced me and then came back. The affair started in spring of 1985. Sept of 85 she told me she was leaving. I kept hanging on, going and seeing her and if I didn't, she would come see me a couple of days a week. I kept talking to her and pulling stunts to get her attention on me. I didn't know about the affair at this time. She kept trying to force me to divorce her and I kept telling her that I wouldn't because I wasn't the one wanting the divorce. She finally filed and the divorce became final Dec 19,1985. Some friends threw her a huge divorce party on the night of the 19th. She got drunk and started screaming and crying so they brought her to me so that she would calm down. In the next couple of weeks I found out about the affair. I finally grew a pair and drove to where she was staying. I told her to never contact me again and that I hoped I'd never see her again. We had a 5 yr old daughter at the time so that wasn't possible but it did get the point across. I stopped for gas on my way home and when I got home she was already there. She had borrowed a vehicle to get there(I guess her's was out of gas?) and had lightly wrecked it in my front yard. That night we started talking about where we were and what we were going to do. In about 1 1/2 months she moved back in and we had 2 more chilluns and stayed together 16 yrs before she pulled the same stunt again. I chose to cut her loose and not pursue anything further with her after that
Jimmyjackson Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Why would you want them back? she had some other dude hanging in her when you were together...then broke up with you. Have some self respect man
Throldur Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 My first girlfriend went to a wedding when we were dating.. while she was at the wedding, she stopped texting me, then when she got home and came to my place she said something like, I've been in a crowded car all day so don't mind me if I'm not too cuddly. I was like ok, she talked about the wedding and how she was drinking, got back to the hotel at 3 AM and had been hanging out with some guy with the same name as me. I was sketched out a bit but just let it ride. Then she told me the next time we were together that he had called her, they were talking and he was arranging to come down here to chill with her. I knew then that she had cheated on me because no dude that spent one night with her hanging out would be calling her and coming down to chill. Then she broke up with me saying, we were worlds apart, blah blah, none of it made any sense.. and that she wanted to break up but maybe we could get back together at the end of Summer. I said no, I'm not putting my life on hold for you. i got into another relationship in the mean-time.. which ended in January.. she then messaged me after it was over, we hung out as friends a few times and before I got to really ask her motivation for hanging out with me, I told her about a psychic fair.. she went, some psychic told her she would be with a Scorpio. She posted on FB "Scorpios welcome" started dating another guy, I cut off all contact with her.. years later she gets pregnant, has a boy, he leaves her and she's on the same dating sites as me now.
ZiggyZoo Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Is this the same ex who had a male co-worker and his 2-year old son at his house? The one that you have absolutely zero proof that has done anything with any other guy, and you've made what? three posts about? Man, you've got to stop flogging this dead horse. You obviously have some strong feelings for her still, and are having a hard time dealing with them. But the way to get over a break-up like this is not to stake out her house and contemplate fooling around with her friend...you need to accept (well, work on accepting) that, regardless of whether or not she's seeing someone else, you two are NOT together. You need to take your focus off what she's doing and concentrate on what will help YOU. Obsessing about her isn't the way at all. What sorts of hobbies do you have? Do you work out? Draw? Play music? The trick is to take this time to rediscover what you are going to do next. This chick is your past, and focusing on her and what she may or may not have done is just going to keep you stuck in this hurtful, toxic loop. Plan for your future, and focus on yourself. That's all you can control anyway. No point in asking if exs come back. You need to be asking why you'd want them. Right now you're in the acute, irrational stage and that's ok. But when you move out of it, letting someone who has upset you so much shouldn't be an option. You deserve more than to be someone's second choice or Plan B. 1
AaronSG Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Alan_17, this was what I was talking about in my post....."the gamble"! But most important here, do you want to take back someone who cheated on you, for nothing more than to "roll the dice" and gamble on the hopes that it would never happen again? And what do we have here Alan_17, looks a whole lot like someone else grabbed those figurative dice I was talking about and choose to "let it ride" and "let em roll"! and stayed together 16 yrs before she pulled the same stunt again. I chose to cut her loose and not pursue anything further with her after that You see OneBigIdgit's post, see his quotes, see how it is said that "she pulled the same stunt again"! That's the risk factor that I was talking about. For me personally I'm not willing to take that sort of the risk, regardless of the situations of the moment, or how my heart longs for, that's all crap to me! Step up Alan_17 , you asked a very "loaded question" being "has anyone had their ex gf cheat on them then return, if so how long and what did you do"! Kind of shows me that you might be entertaining the notion if your ex does indeed ever return that you just might think about taking her back. Don't do it.............seriously.............just look at OneBigIdgit's story, 16 years of possibly having to "watch his back" and perhaps "second guess" everything that was being told to him, 16 years of possibly wondering "am I safe"......"was that the last time"........"can I let my guard down and live again"..........."when will it happen again"? And look what happened to the poor guy, 16 years later.......((pow))......she cheats again! It's all on you Alan_17, it really is, you have a serious choice to make, and from what I can see the consensus doesn't sway very well for you if you choose to take her back. Also take a glance at Throldur's post......he used the word "sketched" about it, I'll go one better.........that was f**ked up! Also Jimmyjackson had a good point and touched on the fact that this woman had some other mans swollen manly member inside her, all the while being with you! Just be careful Alan_17! If you choose to take your former girlfriend back, you must be ready to hold yourself accountable and responsible for making the choice to take her back if this happens again! You'll be the one that has to stand in front of the mirror everyday of your life and be willing to "live with it"! You'll be the one that will need to deal with the paranoia......."who's she taking to on the phone"....."who's she texting"....."is she really working over time at work"......"is she really meeting her friends at some restaurant"....."why is it every time I enter her room, she quickly lowers what she's doing on the computer to the taskbar, what's she hiding"......."is she really flying out of State to visit her Sister"....."why does she always hide her phone"......? If you are willing to "roll the dice" and live with all that, then be my guest! If your willing to step up to the craps table of life and "roll the dice" and are willing to hold yourself 100% responsible and accountable if she cheats again, then be my guest! The only thing left to ask............."what you going to do"? 2
elaine567 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 There is no proof here that the gf did cheat on Alan_17. He went round to her place 3 weeks AFTER the break up and some co-worker and his son were there. At 2 weeks post dumping, she told him not to come round any more, he decided to do that anyway and found the coworker and his son, assumed the worst and cause a scene big enough for her to threaten to call the police if he didn't leave. That is unacceptable behaviour, who she sees, dates, sleeps with AFTER the break up is her business. 2
AaronSG Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 There is no proof here that the gf did cheat on Alan_17. He went round to her place 3 weeks AFTER the break up and some co-worker and his son were there. At 2 weeks post dumping, she told him not to come round any more, he decided to do that anyway and found the coworker and his son, assumed the worst and cause a scene big enough for her to threaten to call the police if he didn't leave. That is unacceptable behaviour, who she sees, dates, sleeps with AFTER the break up is her business. Well, this kind of put's a new spin on things, didn't know any of this elaine567, thanks for the information!
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