sacronovo Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 hi, first of all I just want to say this is my first time asking for some advice, but I have been following the forum for quite a long time by now, and is really good to now that anyone can have some advice. Well now my story. I have met this girl for almost 5 years now, her family has been friend of my family since ever but lost contact for more than 10 years, and therefore contact was practically impossible, so our families made a reunion to meet again. When we met we instantly felt some attraction and start flirting each other. I ask for her email to keep some contact and the only thing she did, was to give me a fake email. Since then and for a couple of years I just tried to talk to her because I found her over facebook, at first I was only attracted to her so I just try to talk to her like friends and also I wanted to see if she felt something more. But as the time passed, I started to have some feelings for her. Half and a year ago I really fall in love with her, during the 2013 our families decided to make some activities together, and though I was in college I decided to go just to see If I could reenact the same scene I had with her when I first met her, so I just start appearing in every reunion our families made. I really didn't think I could became in love with her, but I couldn't helped and in less than half a year I was really interested in her. Since then, I tried to talk to her in every moment, "I have to admit I was falling really hard for her". So a year passed with me trying to make her fall in love with me without success. I tried for so long because she made some post and some comment over facebook that I misunderstood as her saying that she was interested. I text for some time and she text back nicely so I continued texting her, till one day she block my cellphone number in a middle of a really nice conversation, and I got shocked, but I though well maybe it is a problem with her phone or even mine or I don't something harmless, so i decided to wait for a week or two I don't remember clearly. When the week passed seen myself that I was still blocked I really became worried and I decided to go for it and tell her how I felt, so I texted her exposing my feelings mostly because I didn't found the courage to do it face to face. She replied really fast telling me that this would never happened, and that I shouldn't talk to her in any way possible, I really didn't finish reading her reply because she was being rude so it really hurt me bad. So I decided to erase her text and even her from my live in any way possible so I couldn't even see her. I start working full-time just to not think of her in any moment. I now I should had let her go. For a year I didn't contact her in any way possible, she even didn't tried to talk or met me again. So I realize everything was over, and I accepted it, what else could have I done. Her birthday is in November and I decided to go because I was invited by her family and I didn't wanted to be rude with them. I saw her there, I never talked to her and didn't felt anything so I realize I was ready to move on. For two months there was no contact with her at all, although I kept contact with her family. But a couple of months ago when I finish working I decided to see some facebook profiles, and I found her's. I was curious about if she said or post something about what I tell her but I found out that nothing really happened, somehow I got interested of what she posted over youtube and I don't know if its real but it seems she was or even is looking at my youtube channel, and it seemed that almost every song I posted in my youtube channel had a response in her facebook page. Then I make my mistake I added her again to facebook, but I though she would reject it, but she didn't. Since then I decided to try if my theory was right and I started to select the songs I added to my youtube channel in order to find out if she was paying attention, and it seemed she was, we saw each other again in another reunion but this time we talk in a really nice way, so then I decide to make my next mistake I decide to talk to her regularly and she was nice with me like never before. So I kept talking to her and I still don't know why. She was answering all my questions, but I act like nothing had happened. And now I realize I am already falling in love with her all over again and even harder. I post some videos telling her I want her and she seems to answers them. Now she is answering me when she wants and that's almost just one answer per two days, So I decided not to ask her why she is being like that, just to avoid getting hurt again. I am trying to show her that some how I felt in love with her again but there is no answer at all. I begun to look into her older facebook posts and I found she was having a relationship with some guy because there was a photo of her being kiss by this dude in a very romantic way and I know that one doesn't go kissing friends and taking romantic photos with them. I kept looking and I found out that they were very playful and they were really into it. But some how their relation ship broke apart or that's what I think. But the weird part is that he still have a real close contact with her and I just can stop thinking about two possibilities: the first one is that for some reason they had to end their relation ship and their hiding it from others and the posts and everything else is for him and I am mistaken of thinking that those messages are for me, or second it is someone else and still I am mistaken of thinking that those messages are for me. But now I am really considering going to where she leaves and try to be brave and tell her that my feelings are exactly the same and I just want to know if she feels the same. I really don't know what else to do, I am again deeply in love with her and don't want to leave her or lose her, and I want to have something with her, but I know she doesn't want that. I know I already screwed things up for me again, and I am definitely going to be hurt again, which is really hard for me to accept but is the truth. So if you could help me giving me some advice of how should I handle things, I would be very grateful.
Satu Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 *I really don't know what else to do, I am again deeply in love with her and don't want to leave her or lose her, and I want to have something with her, but I know she doesn't want that. I know I already screwed things up for me again, and I am definitely going to be hurt again, which is really hard for me to accept but is the truth. So if you could help me giving me some advice of how should I handle things, I would be very grateful. *The best thing you can do in this situation is to go no contact and work on yourself, preferably in therapy. My opinion is that rather than being 'in love,'you are Limerent. YMMV. *No direct contact in either direction. No sending or receiving of messages. No replies. Block any means she might use to contact you. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. Take care, Satu. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Didn't read the whole thing, but if she doesn't reciprocate your feelings there is nothing you can do. Move on. 1
d0nnivain Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 You are not in love with her. You have a crush on her. That's it. She doesn't feel the same way. You made a classic mistake: you tried to use a "friendship" as a wedge to move into her life & make her fall in love with you. You can't make somebody fall in love with you. Then you practically stalked the girl. The minute she gave you a fake e-mail you should have realized this was a hopeless cause. Yet, you pushed & pushed. She blocked you. You still pushed. You overread her FB posts in response to some YouTube videos you made. You know she has a BF. You need to leave her alone. 3
preraph Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 There is no way to make someone love you. She has been clear from the start that she doesn't love you. She is only being at all tolerant of you out of respect for the families involved. Leave her alone and move on. You are imagining things. 1
Author sacronovo Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 Thanks greatly appreciated your help, the last couple of years has been really complicated with work, so it could be affecting my judgement. If I look closely everything started when work got complicated. I may consider my position, you all are right maybe I should start from the beginning, and try to go on. Thanks again...
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