Why are alot of good looking people single?

[Versacehottie]

soooo, going back to the OP since this is her thread, I think a lot of the time when you are good looking and hang out in larger groups, there is a superficiality to it that is not conducive to relationships--at least not in within that group or its fringes or if people know you're part of it. Especially at 19. Different expectations. A lot of bravado. Lots of good friends (guys and girls) come from these times and the people as individuals are not necessarily superficial but it's more about going out and socializing. I think to find a bf at that point in life it feels like you have to break away a bit and be yourself and be seen more as an individual.

 

That's why bfs at 19 come from your classes, when you are home from college, a job or vacations. The group stuff can sometimes be too intimidating and it's not the mindset of a typical 19 year old guy hanging with his friends. It's not impossible with the guys that you socialize with but best way (i think) is to be super close friends and then something will change OR from the word go, you have to be the girl who is super confident and doesn't do FWB, conveying that you are gf material only. Even make up a fake at home bf to convey that msg and when you "break up" see what happens. Ok, that was a little extreme. Never lie in love. Good luck

[katiegrl]

many times it is because you aren't the kind of girl those guys picture themselves with.

well I had a look at your photos and if I want to be 100% honest, you aren't 8/10 to me. you aren't drop dead gorgeous that can just lure a guy in purely based on your looks. you need to be able to offer other things.

Having said that, average looking girls get boyfriends too. i have many friends who arent stunning but their personal traits make them very appealing.

But apparently Kaitegirl thinks you are very beautiful. Beauty is indeed subjective

 

Yes I do ...very much so. But I am attracted to the darker, exotic look. Probably because I am blonde and fair skinned. Would love to have that long dark hair.....

 

Yes looks are very subjective....

[Leigh 87]

many times it is because you aren't the kind of girl those guys picture themselves with.

well I had a look at your photos and if I want to be 100% honest, you aren't 8/10 to me. you aren't drop dead gorgeous that can just lure a guy in purely based on your looks. you need to be able to offer other things.

Having said that, average looking girls get boyfriends too. i have many friends who arent stunning but their personal traits make them very appealing.

But apparently Kaitegirl thinks you are very beautiful. Beauty is indeed subjective

 

and you assumed that most people wouldn't fall for me at first site either. You though right probably.

 

I could have a boyfriend.. I reject the men for have actually fallen hard for me. They actually fell for me at first site too. Why did I reject them? Well, I'd rather be single than have to date men who I am not that into. I need to feel hot chemistry. I don't want to bypass the " in love" feelings.

 

I don't want a nice companion who I enjoy mediocre sex with. Being single and having hot sex with men I am actually sexually into is more preferable.

 

I am undergoing plastic surgery this year. I can guarantee that with a nose job I'll be 8/10.

 

With us average girls it is usually just ONE feature that makes us average.

 

With a nice nose I have amazing eyes and lips and teeth so I am positive I'll be gorgeous after surgery.

 

Until then I'm just biding my time with the men I truly want knowing full well none of them are going to fall for me in the way I yearn for..the way my beautiful friends got their guys to fall head over heels for them.

 

Once I get my nose job I will be an attractive woman. I won't be single for too long. Because hot women don't tend to stay single.

[h0000]

I choose to be single because I want a guy who falls for me and feels limerence. Who's infatuated and head over heels.

 

I want a guy who thinks I'm pretty immediately.

 

Not a guy who has to bypass the in love feeling.

 

I don't know why you have to have guys infatuated by you.that is not the only way people fall in love...

After all you aren't Megan Fox so maybe be a bit realistic here? you have to be way above a guy's league to have him fall head over heels for you and thats why only bad stuffers fall for you like that because lets face it, you can only have 4-5s do that if you are a 7. now i don't mean NO GUY will fall for first sight with you, but...you are really limiting your chances if that's ONLY what you will settle for.

i don't see what's the problem attracting a man with your personalities?

[smackie9]

Like I said attractive girls gotta have game too.....you can't just depend on your looks and think it's going to happen.

[Erised]

1. Personality- looks are not that important in interpersonal connection. Compatibile personalities are very important,

 

2. Desire - not everyone wants to be in a relationship

[h0000]

and you assumed that most people wouldn't fall for me at first site either. You though right probably.

 

I could have a boyfriend.. I reject the men for have actually fallen hard for me. They actually fell for me at first site too. Why did I reject them? Well, I'd rather be single than have to date men who I am not that into. I need to feel hot chemistry. I don't want to bypass the " in love" feelings.

 

I don't want a nice companion who I enjoy mediocre sex with. Being single and having hot sex with men I am actually sexually into is more preferable.

 

I am undergoing plastic surgery this year. I can guarantee that with a nose job I'll be 8/10.

 

With us average girls it is usually just ONE feature that makes us average.

 

With a nice nose I have amazing eyes and lips and teeth so I am positive I'll be gorgeous after surgery.

 

Until then I'm just biding my time with the men I truly want knowing full well none of them are going to fall for me in the way I yearn for..the way my beautiful friends got their guys to fall head over heels for them.

 

Once I get my nose job I will be an attractive woman. I won't be single for too long. Because hot women don't tend to stay single.

 

you clearly emphasise soooo much on looks that you start to have self-image issues now. i'm fairly certain that will not let you do well in dating.

even you had a nose job i doubt it would be a game changer. cuz inside you are still the broken you. you will probably start to think your boobs arent good anymore, your lips arent good anymore etc etc and at the end of the day you probably still wont be able to get a bf

Edited April 5, 2015 by h0000

[DatingDirection]

I am so frustrated because people tell me im attractive/beautiful/hot/cute what have you but yet im single. Im 19 and lots of my friends are in serious relationships. I feel so out of place. I really dont want this to come off as 'stuck up' or conceited because i am anything but that. I am simply stating a problem and that problem is WHY the HELL am i single if im all those things listed above.

 

Its not only looks im complimented on, guys and gals say im down to earth, friendly, funny so i really dont know whats wrong with me? Guys seem to only want to sleep with me. I really think it has something to do with my age bracket OR i am going for the wrong men. For example one guy said he would marry me but he doesn't want anything serious because he is young and wants to have 'fun'. I am seriously considering just engaging in casual sex or a fwb kind of thing because I cannot secure a relationship for god knows what reason and I am getting irritated if you know what I mean. Any advice?

 

#1. I was the only single girl among my friends from age 16-19, with the exception of an on again off again RL with a guy 5 years older than me. Let me tell you, that guy played me like a guitar, and that was my first RL, which really opened my eyes to what constutues an untrust worthy man, and what red flags to look out for. At the same time, looking back at how sweet I was, and how cute/pretty, I didn't deserve that experience at all. #2, honestly, im glad I didn't waste my time with a RL at 19, b/c I know myself, I love deeply, and I wouldn't have been able to focus on the goals I needed to accomplish with a boyfriend hanging around, and then chances of a guy between the ages of 19-25 making a marriage commitment to you are very slim, so stay single, and if you want to have causual sex, make sure to have sex with someone you will never see again, other wise feelings get involved, although it's always best to wait until you find a great connection, which you will soon enough. I hope I made sense, and helped a bit. Oh and a, my friends who were in RL's at that age, are not with anyone of those men today, so they went through heart break hell.

[Leigh 87]

I don't know why you have to have guys infatuated by you.that is not the only way people fall in love...

After all you aren't Megan Fox so maybe be a bit realistic here? you have to be way above a guy's league to have him fall head over heels for you and thats why only bad stuffers fall for you like that because lets face it, you can only have 4-5s do that if you are a 7. now i don't mean NO GUY will fall for first sight with you, but...you are really limiting your chances if that's ONLY what you will settle for.

i don't see what's the problem attracting a man with your personalities?

 

I have had men fall for me at first site. Hopelessly so. Yes they were a five.

 

I have had decent looking men find me instantly attractive too.

 

And I dont believe you have to be megan fox for a man to find you instantly attractive.

 

I think girls like me can find a man who falls hard and fast.

 

Limerence and intence chemistry are important. I would never omit the" in love" stage. And by pass it in favour of the slow burn.

[Leigh 87]

you clearly emphasise soooo much on looks that you start to have self-image issues now. i'm fairly certain that will not let you do well in dating.

even you had a nose job i doubt it would be a game changer. cuz inside you are still the broken you. you will probably start to think your boobs arent good anymore, your lips arent good anymore etc etc and at the end of the day you probably still wont be able to get a bf

 

Frankly, I have stunning features aside from my nose.

 

I have thick full lips staight teeth and clear skin and huge blue eyes with long lashes.

 

I am also thin with big boobs and a bubble butt.

 

With a nice small nose I will be gorgeous. I will be one of the hot women. I'll be an 8.

 

I actually think I am already okay enough to get some men to feel instant chemistry with me. I don't believe that it is rare for a man to find me instantly attractive as it is. I just want to increase my odds of finding it.

[smackie9]

I think you need to work on your confidence and adjust your personality....that doesn't cost money and is less painful.

[Erised]

Women like me aren't beautiful so we never got the cute guys to fall for us.

 

Beauty is not everything. I am not especially attractive. I consider myself relatively unattractive, though I recognize that the men who are interested find me beautiful anyhow and see me in a different light.

 

I've never been short on options, certainly not short on the options I want, and not short on options that would I suppose be considered high value from a societal standpoint. (Though, who cares. Social approval does not a good partner make.)

 

Even not wanting to be in a relationship, I have no shortage of men wanting to be in a relationship and I've not had much experience with the being "used" for sex thing,

 

You put entirely too much emphasis on looks, for yourself certainly and it's hard not to suspect for others.

 

No matter what your shell shows, who you are shines through: your intellect or lack thereof, your kindness or cruelty, your openness or self absorption, et cetera. I'm not saying looks so not matter in our culture. They certainly do! I wouldn't bemoan my own imperfections (privately, it's unfair to place that burden on others) if it was entirely meaningless. There are those who will put up with bad behavior for beauty. (Although I find those types less than alluring.) However, in finding partners and love what matters most is who you are, not what you look like.

 

If anything I'm proof of that. My other good qualities exceed my aesthetic value, certainly.

[Leigh 87]

I think you need to work on your confidence and adjust your personality....that doesn't cost money and is less painful.

 

 

I'm going to get a nose job. And then I'll be attractive an pretty to most men.

 

I won't stay single for long.

 

I have a nice personality. Do say my many friends. I am funny and nerdy and super kind hearted.

 

Good looking people don't stay single. Unless they are psycho and lack a personality.

 

After my nose job I'll be a good looking woman with a kind personality and who doesn't call men 50 times a day or act psycho.

[Leigh 87]

Beauty is not everything. I am not especially attractive. I consider myself relatively unattractive, though I recognize that the men who are interested find me beautiful anyhow and see me in a different light.

 

I've never been short on options, certainly not short on the options I want, and not short on options that would I suppose be considered high value from a societal standpoint. (Though, who cares. Social approval does not a good partner make.)

 

Even not wanting to be in a relationship, I have no shortage of men wanting to be in a relationship and I've not had much experience with the being "used" for sex thing,

 

You put entirely too much emphasis on looks, for yourself certainly and it's hard not to suspect for others.

 

No matter what your shell shows, who you are shines through: your intellect or lack thereof, your kindness or cruelty, your openness or self absorption, et cetera. I'm not saying looks so not matter in our culture. They certainly do! I wouldn't bemoan my own imperfections (privately, it's unfair to place that burden on others) if it was entirely meaningless. There are those who will put up with bad behavior for beauty. (Although I find those types less than alluring.) However, in finding partners and love what matters most is who you are, not what you look like.

 

If anything I'm proof of that. My other good qualities exceed my aesthetic value, certainly.

 

 

 

I want a man to fall hard for me. I want him to feel those IN love feelings as opposed to the slow burn where they grow to love.

 

You need beauty for men to fall hard for you and to have that " can't keep their hands off you " feeling about you.

[No Limit]

Welcome to the club - I'm just a couple of months away from becoming 19 and single without any dating prospects within 200 miles.

 

I'll admit that a year ago I too got onto this depressive "Why does everyone have a BF except me...?"-thought-train, but today I focus on myself and just spend time with friends like I've always done. I also travel a lot and keep busy with sports, but I guess that comes from my own definition of 'beauty' - need some muscles to avoid looking skinny.

 

I'll pass on the debate "duh quality guys want quality girls", I've seen quite a few nice guys become jerks because of their 'inner girl picker'. But what ultimately made me decide not to worry about it at all - think about every guy you know, even if they're "just" mutual friends. Can you imagine being in a relationship with any of these guys - which includes accepting whatever "flaws" they have (be it childish in behavior sometimes or having completely opposite interests etc)?

[Gaeta]

I want a man to fall hard for me. I want him to feel those IN love feelings as opposed to the slow burn where they grow to love.

 

You need beauty for men to fall hard for you and to have that " can't keep their hands off you " feeling about you.

 

Leigh, you don't need a nose job, you are beautiful just the way you are. What you need is to look at love and relationships like an adult woman, not like a teenage girl.

[Leigh 87]

Leigh, you don't need a nose job, you are beautiful just the way you are. What you need is to look at love and relationships like an adult woman, not like a teenage girl.

 

I want a man to feel lust for me.

 

I want two limerent partners.

 

It happens to plenty of attractive friends of mine.

 

I'm not asking for prince charming.

 

I simply want a 5\10 average aussie guy to fall hard for me and to feel a spark for me at first site. That's all. I don't believe in love at first site.

[Erised]

I want a man to feel lust for me.

 

I want two limerent partners.

 

It happens to plenty of attractive friends of mine.

 

I'm not asking for prince charming.

 

I simply want a 5\10 average aussie guy to fall hard for me and to feel a spark for me at first site. That's all. I don't believe in love at first site.

 

I believe you mean sight. Over several posts, you have said site repeatedly. Just trying to help!

[katiegrl]

I want a man to feel lust for me.

 

I want two limerent partners.

 

It happens to plenty of attractive friends of mine.

 

I'm not asking for prince charming.

 

I simply want a 5\10 average aussie guy to fall hard for me and to feel a spark for me at first site. That's all. I don't believe in love at first site.

 

But you said guys (many guys in fact) HAVE fallen hard for you..felt lust for you immediately...so not sure what your issue is exactly. YOU were the one who weren't into them!! Said you didn't feel the passion...but THEY felt it with you! So what's your problem again?

 

You are so confusing. In one post, you say you are not attractive and no man wants an unattractive or average girl.

 

In another post you say you have beautiful features, hair, lips, eyes, nice figure, and many men have lusted for you at first sight.

 

Men feel lust and passion for you, but you don't feel it with them. Next post, you are ugly and no man could ever be attracted to you for this reason.

 

Go back and read your posts if you don't believe me! If you are even a quarter as fickle, inconsistent and confusing in real life as you are on this board, it's no wonder you don't have a boyfriend!

 

I wonder what the men you meet really think of you. Aside from looks. On this board, you appear quite anxious and high strung...tightly wound, and quick to ignite. Changeable, inconsistent and fickle. At times you appear superficial... and other times you display a depth that is quite impressive.

 

No amount of outward beauty is gonna change all that..

 

As I said earlier.. look within. It's not your looks or your nose that are holding you back. It's something deeper..and the men you meet are sensing that....preventing them from wanting to pursue a relationship with you.

 

Think about it....

Edited April 5, 2015 by katiegrl

[Versacehottie]

how did the leigh87 show manage to hijack this thread?? seriously. it's rude, and the first thing she should work on if she wants to find someone is to stop being so self-centered. She can easily start her own thread to discuss her dating issues and looks if she wants.

[Leigh 87]

But you said guys (many guys in fact) HAVE fallen hard for you..felt lust for you immediately...so not sure what your issue is exactly. YOU were the one who weren't into them!! Said you didn't feel the passion...but THEY felt it with you! So what's your problem again?

 

You are so confusing. In one post, you say you are not attractive and no man wants an unattractive or average girl.

 

In another post you say you have beautiful features, hair, lips, eyes, nice figure, and many men have lusted for you at first sight.

 

Men feel lust and passion for you, but you don't feel it with them. Next post, you are ugly and no man could ever be attracted to you for this reason.

 

Go back and read your posts if you don't believe me! If you are even a quarter as fickle, inconsistent and confusing in real life as you are on this board, it's no wonder you don't have a boyfriend!

 

I wonder what the men you meet really think of you. Aside from looks. On this board, you appear quite anxious and high strung...tightly wound, and quick to ignite. Changeable, inconsistent and fickle. At times you appear superficial... and other times you display a depth that is quite impressive.

 

No amount of outward beauty is gonna change all that..

 

As I said earlier.. look within. It's not your looks or your nose that are holding you back. It's something deeper..and the men you meet are sensing that....preventing them from wanting to pursue a relationship with you.

 

Think about it....

 

 

Only men I don't want have fallen head over heels. The types of men who no girls want.

[Leigh 87]

how did the leigh87 show manage to hijack this thread?? seriously. it's rude, and the first thing she should work on if she wants to find someone is to stop being so self-centered. She can easily start her own thread to discuss her dating issues and looks if she wants.

 

 

 

I am proving that if I get plastic surgery and I become better looking that I'll suddenly be swamped with decent guys wanting to date me.

 

Think about it.

 

 

Good looking women don't stay single unless they have an awful personality.

[Versacehottie]

I am proving that if I get plastic surgery and I become better looking that I'll suddenly be swamped with decent guys wanting to date me.

 

Think about it.

 

 

Good looking women don't stay single unless they have an awful personality.

 

Apart from the fact that your logic is flawed, this thread isn't about you specifically.

[katiegrl]

how did the leigh87 show manage to hijack this thread?? seriously. it's rude, and the first thing she should work on if she wants to find someone is to stop being so self-centered. She can easily start her own thread to discuss her dating issues and looks if she wants.

 

I was just thinking the same thing and should have added that to my list...

 

Of course I am just as guilty for continuing to respond....but for a minute there I had forgotten who had actually started this thread!!

 

My bad and apologies to the OP!!!

[h0000]

I believe you mean sight. Over several posts, you have said site repeatedly. Just trying to help!

 

This and several other things she said (like "as long as I change my nose I will be hot and hot woman can get men") makes me think maybe intelligence is why those guys don't want to commit to her.