Why are alot of good looking people single?

April 4, 2015

So ya I happen to be one of those guys who attract women without trying.
Good looks, Tall handsome plus I am an artist. Blah blah blah.
The most common problem I run into as a guy in this situation:

1) She thinks I must be dating a lot of women, but I am home alone most nights.

2) Because she thinks I must have a lot of options she gets defensive-jealous and starts dating other men.

3)Becuase she is disracting herself with other men, I have no chance to develop a deeper bond.

4) She interprets my distance as me not desiring her, which makes her feel rejected. But in reality I never had a chance, she did it to herself.

5) Rinse and repeat.

And it's because you aren't attracted to plain girls like me and the hot girls you're into are already taken or they have mental problems or something wrong with them.

April 4, 2015

Most truly attractive people have partners.

People like myself are left over.

If you get to your mid 20's and no decent man who has options ever falls hard for you, chances are your not good looking at all.

Gorgeous people have other gorgeous people falling for them.

Average girls like me have unattractive men fall for them. Men that other girls don't want.

If you were attractive you would have had a bevy of cute men wanting to date you by now.

By friends who are early 20's found cute men who adored them and fell hard for them and their beauty.

Women like me aren't beautiful so we never got the cute guys to fall for us.

April 4, 2015

Most truly attractive people have partners.

People like myself are left over.

If you get to your mid 20's and no decent man who has options ever falls hard for you, chances are your not good looking at all.

Gorgeous people have other gorgeous people falling for them.

Average girls like me have unattractive men fall for them. Men that other girls don't want.

If you were attractive you would have had a bevy of cute men wanting to date you by now.

By friends who are early 20's found cute men who adored them and fell hard for them and their beauty.

Women like me aren't beautiful so we never got the cute guys to fall for us.

I remember you, you're Leigh 87.

The Australian girl who was very empathetic of my struggles on the streets. I was Natsu 21.

Leigh, you're just not meeting the right guy. Even if we weren't a perfect match you seem like someone I'd love to enjoy a little go kart action with!

Be warned, my insurance sucks. Cheer up, there is more than looking movie star golden. There's bungee jumping from airplanes and probably dying.

I'm 5 ft 8 and I approve this message!

April 4, 2015

Yeah, it would kind of floor me sometimes, but I actually dated an older woman, very attractive for an early 50-something woman. When I first met her, I guessed her to be mid-40s. Had no real indication of wrinkles seen normally on a 50-something person.

Not sure if she'd be a good litmus test as to "why good looking people are still single", but this experience can gain some insight, as I believe she's become so accustomed to living on her own, that having someone in her space may seem a bit stifling to her.

She was a mix of Mexican and Italian, fair skinned, dark-hair. Was in beauty pageants in her college years for 5 years. She came from a small town near me, but had relocated a few years ago in the big city an hour from me, the one of which I usually travel to for Meetups.

Her parents live near where I live and often commutes there to see them on weekends.

Anyhow, she grew up in that small town and had friends from high school that graduated, married, popped-out kids by the age of 25...her...she was emphatic about NOT doing that at such a young age...in fact, she purposely avoided going to the same college as her local back water friends just to stay away from their influence/mentality of living the boring, married life at such a disturbingly young age...the idea of being "barefoot and pregnant" (at that age) like her female peers weren't all too appealing.

So she went to a separate college hours away and started fresh with a new social circle. Though, I don't blame her for wanting to experience being single for quite a few years through college and even into her 30s

She's had relationships before, but she's rather conservative...doesn't believe in living together outside of marriage, have a rather decent moral compass, and didn't mesh well with female friends of a rather loose life-style if you get what I mean. People would judge her for not having any real "vices"

She had only 2 long term relationships in her life, one of which I know the man had a kid that didn't like having a "new woman" in his life..so that didn't work out.

She's had a 5 year dry spell up until this point, hung out with guys, but that never went anywhere. She's rather introverted I think, rather boring lifestyle...she joined Meetups, but since she didn't have internet access at her home, she was rarely privy to the notifications and would only find out through her local friends about the events and would only attend as a +1

She says she cannot do any real activities unless its with people, but seems the lack the motivation to be social, she even purposely took a 2nd job during the weekend to fill her spare time (which I found disturbing).

Here's a beautiful woman with no social life? I find that a bit odd. She does recognize this and says, "Yeah, I know...I need to get out more, but <insert excuse here>" I even had to sway her into coming to an art event when was a perfect day to spend outside, instead she was working on her taxes...and she had months to go before they were due. lol

You'd think that a woman that gorgeous, intelligent, well kept-up physically, and rather sweet would have been snatched up already. She told me recently she found relationships rather complicated lately... and just wanted friends to hang out with...recently she said her dilemma was that men that she would try to hang with would always try to date her or hoping for something more.

And I'm thiking "DUH!"

April 4, 2015

Because it's too easy. Using your looks to get a person when that can happen any time, any minute, any day of the week. Some people want more than what they can easily get, going out and having a relationship or sex just because you can is boring and trite and boring.

I think that any person can find someone that they "click" with, no matter their looks. When a person is attractive, there are so many people who are not right for them that they can have, but why would they? Unless they are users.

April 4, 2015

So ya I happen to be one of those guys who attract women without trying.
Good looks, Tall handsome plus I am an artist. Blah blah blah.
The most common problem I run into as a guy in this situation:

1) She thinks I must be dating a lot of women, but I am home alone most nights.

2) Because she thinks I must have a lot of options she gets defensive-jealous and starts dating other men.

3)Becuase she is disracting herself with other men, I have no chance to develop a deeper bond.

4) She interprets my distance as me not desiring her, which makes her feel rejected. But in reality I never had a chance, she did it to herself.

5) Rinse and repeat.

I am a good looking woman and that has been my exact experience.

I hear from men I date:

* You must have men waiting in line

* You can get any man you want

* You have options

* During my last date the man told me to my face: I bet you can get up and pick any man here in the room. Why wasn't this idiot just happy I was giving him attention.

Yep! and I too spend my Saturday evenings home alone.

April 4, 2015

Stop looking and the right one will come. At least the guy you like isn't going to be a missionary (baptist). We get along so well and talk so good. He's been so supportive during this difficult semester in grad school. I'm in my mid 20s. Isn't any easier. The church has a singles group and most are single so its nice to not have only friends in relationships/engaged/married. Thankfully I'm busy enough to not care he will be gone for two years. Its the society's delusion to be married by 30. No man will pay my pay check, which is what is getting me through my grad school program.

April 4, 2015

OP, it's the internet and definitions of what 'good looking' is vary widely but I'll offer three anecdotes from my 'good-looking to head-turner' annals for your consideration....

1. Young female friend - fitness model, published in national media. Met her when she was 24, she's 29 now and married. Down to earth gal, very friendly and genuine but had a difficult time finding relationships. Young guys were enamored of her appearance and popularity, or were intimidated by same. A very narrow demographic approached her and she didn't find any successful interviews so she spent a lot of time alone, she said, though also some of that was due to her focus on her career and travel it required. She's now married to a former male model and IMO they make a good couple. He's the object spinning out into space and she's gravity

2. ExW's best friend when I first met her..... Knockout tall blonde married to a philanderer LEO whom she divorced after 20 years. Two young kids. No problem to meet men as she turned their heads everywhere. Her problem was a combination, one having been married to a philanderer and, two, being a nurse at the prison where Charles Manson resides along with some of the most heinous criminals in the Western US. She was 'single' meaning not in a LTR, for the entirety of our decade long M. However, I would look on in awe how she could cherry pick any man at a social event, married or single and 'get' him. It was spectacular to watch. All she had to do was choose which one. Still, even with plenty of candidates, single.

3. Here's a more heartening tale - Employee, mother of three, shockingly beautiful (think Plenty O'Toole from the James Bond movie) but in a very unassuming manner as she consistently plays it down. Still, the men congregate. Divorced after long marriage. She's older, 30's, and I got this 'vibe' from her early on but once I discovered she was married, I killed it. Enough bad mojo with married women to last a lifetime. In any event, years go by, wedding ring comes off and males descend. This one had a new boyfriend before the divorce was done. Easy peasy. She still likes men and the excess candidates provided her enough variety to easily select a replacement. However, she was 'single' for a brief period at the beginning of her divorce so applicable for the purposes of this discussion, and did complain about mens 'one track mind'.

Of the three anecdotes, the one who remained single did so by choice and, IMO, because she genuinely had come to despise men; in fact I got that vibe from her just being married to one of her friends, my exW, and it never changed. I can usually get along with most anyone but she just struck me as mean.

Now, in the male realm, there's my quite attractive perennially single male friend who's about a week younger than George Clooney and looks remarkable like him, face, physique, etc. Why is he single? Picky, picky, picky, plus he's very religious and trends a bit to the ball of wire psyche like I do, not being a typically laid-back, whatever male. In his case, I'm pretty sure it's factors other than good looking which keep him single and, perhaps, that can send a balanced message to the OP, reinforcing what I shared about foundation. It's what happens at the beginning, when one builds the foundations of their psyche and interpersonal relationship style, that is so important to moving forward in life, hence why I suggested working on those aspects and letting the social interactions come as they do. Looks may provide more opportunities; what one brings to the table themselves decides how those opportunities will go.

April 4, 2015

I'd say most 19 year olds, regardless of looks, are either single or in casual short-term relationships or flings. Unless they grew up in a very old-school socially conservative rural environment, it's unlikely they're thinking about getting real serious with anyone at 19, and probably won't be for another 5-8 years. It's 2015, not 1960.

April 4, 2015

@OP

Cause I am not entertained by simple conversation?!

I'm still in a part of my life where I'm traveling a fair amount and I haven't met anyone conducive enough to settle down. In the meantime, I'm NOT going to run around sticking my dick in random things or stir random hearts cause I'm not comfortable being alone. Cause I am quite comfortable.

It's not that I don't want to, but almost like I can't be bothered by it. I'm taking it easy, dating here and there, but if it's not right I don't entertain it a moment further.

April 4, 2015

Okay, I am generalizing here, forgive me, but either way if a drop dead good looking woman is single there is likely a reason you do not want to deal with (eg. she sleeps around a lot, isn't faithful, is crazy/unstable). It most often is the last one. Sorry ladies but it is a common perception.

April 5, 2015

I remember you, you're Leigh 87.

The Australian girl who was very empathetic of my struggles on the streets. I was Natsu 21.

Leigh, you're just not meeting the right guy. Even if we weren't a perfect match you seem like someone I'd love to enjoy a little go kart action with!

Be warned, my insurance sucks. Cheer up, there is more than looking movie star golden. There's bungee jumping from airplanes and probably dying.

I'm 5 ft 8 and I approve this message!

Well I have always wanted to be attractive. I'd kill to be one of the pretty women.

I can't accept anything less than a man who falls for me hard because he finds me attractive from moment one. Magnetic and hot sort of chemistry.

I just can't accept less than my beautiful friends who had men fall head over heels for them at first site. Even though they are less intelligent than me and have not lead half life life u have lived in terms of amazing overseas travel and titillating experiences.

So women like me choose to remain single much like a " hot" or " beautiful " woman opts to.

Our reason is often that...well, we don't want one of those slow burning style if relationships where the man doesn't feel the " in love" head over heels high level of emotions for us... We know that men will only ever fall for our personalities and " grow" very slowly to love us. We will NEVER get a limerent partner. Where as all my pretty friends get to mutually experience limerence with their partners..they are both giddy with excitement from date one...

I don't feel sorry for good looking women who remain single. They have no idea what it's like to know that men will NEVER fall hard for us in a truly romantic way. At least they are likely to find men who actually fall hard for them. All the plane Jane's have to look forward to is a man who....hangs out with us as friends and eventually " grows " to love us through mutual respect trust and admiration and shared goals. With no white hot passion for us. When our pretty friends get men who go gaga over them and can't keep their hands off them.

Great is the only attractive woman besides my model friend that I have ever known who is single and NOT by choice.

Most women who get told ohhhhh you're gorgeous why are you single - are NOT ATTRACTIVE.

I get that alllllllll the time! I have SO many cute guys and girls lament that wow you are so hot and pretty Leigh 87 you will definitely find someone!

People often call you good looking when you're clearly NOT. people just enjoy giving compliments. I know I do. I just love paying someone a nice compliment.

If i was as gorgeous and attractive as evryone said I was, I would bit be single, see. So most women who think their attractive really aren't. At all.

April 5, 2015

I am a good looking woman and that has been my exact experience.

I hear from men I date:

* You must have men waiting in line
* You can get any man you want
* You have options
* During my last date the man told me to my face: I bet you can get up and pick any man here in the room. Why wasn't this idiot just happy I was giving him attention.

Yep! and I too spend my Saturday evenings home alone.

Not tonight though right? Date with hot dude!

April 5, 2015

Sorry attractive single ladies but if you don't have game, you sit at home alone.

April 5, 2015

I agree with Leigh87, people compliment each other all the time. EVERY girl gets compliments on how"beautiful "she is. Look at facebook, a butt-ugly selfie will get all comments "oh cute!" "stunning girl!"

We all know deep down only 20% people are attractive at most and 60% are really just average.

99% of the time good looking girls really have no problem picking up guys. Vice versa. The relationship may not work out, but thats a totally different issue and doesn't necessarily have to do with attractiveness. But they have no problem starting a relationship.

Edited April 5, 2015 by h0000

April 5, 2015

Leigh you need to stop. Are you just fishing for compliments...I can't figure it out.

Most women would give up their right arm to look like you...and the recent photo you posted is gorgeous... very demure and mysterious. Exotic even!

Don't know what happened, when I first joined this board, your posts reflected so much confidence!!! At times, I almost thought you were *too* high on yourself!

What happened to *that* Leigh?

April 5, 2015