LLostInLove Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 I am so frustrated because people tell me im attractive/beautiful/hot/cute what have you but yet im single. Im 19 and lots of my friends are in serious relationships. I feel so out of place. I really dont want this to come off as 'stuck up' or conceited because i am anything but that. I am simply stating a problem and that problem is WHY the HELL am i single if im all those things listed above. Its not only looks im complimented on, guys and gals say im down to earth, friendly, funny so i really dont know whats wrong with me? Guys seem to only want to sleep with me. I really think it has something to do with my age bracket OR i am going for the wrong men. For example one guy said he would marry me but he doesn't want anything serious because he is young and wants to have 'fun'. I am seriously considering just engaging in casual sex or a fwb kind of thing because I cannot secure a relationship for god knows what reason and I am getting irritated if you know what I mean. Any advice?
kevintech Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Work on yourself to improve your self-worth (personality, education, etc) and guys will come around. Quality guys are also looking for quality girls, so it takes that really good girl to make us commit. Looks can only get you so far, and that's why guys are just willing to sleep with you. 1
Buddhist Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 (edited) You're 19. Since when has that been the benchmark for serious relationships? Your friends who are in them will probably be out of them before the year is out. I think your expectations for a serious relationship with anyone even close to your age bracket isn't all that realistic to be honest. You are in the age group where guys run from commitment, even if that commitment is only being exclusive. Men in general don't start looking for anything serious until about 28 or so. You're a long way off that. I think it has nothing to do with being good looking and single and everything to do with you being a teenager and being attractive to people who are in the carefree stage of life. Sure look for a boyfriend, but don't be astonished when most guys you meet just want sex or a short term fling. It's kind of the time of life for it. Edited April 3, 2015 by Buddhist 6
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 I am so frustrated because people tell me im attractive/beautiful/hot/cute what have you but yet im single. Im 19 and lots of my friends are in serious relationships. I feel so out of place. I really dont want this to come off as 'stuck up' or conceited because i am anything but that. I am simply stating a problem and that problem is WHY the HELL am i single if im all those things listed above. Its not only looks im complimented on, guys and gals say im down to earth, friendly, funny so i really dont know whats wrong with me? Guys seem to only want to sleep with me. I really think it has something to do with my age bracket OR i am going for the wrong men. For example one guy said he would marry me but he doesn't want anything serious because he is young and wants to have 'fun'. I am seriously considering just engaging in casual sex or a fwb kind of thing because I cannot secure a relationship for god knows what reason and I am getting irritated if you know what I mean. Any advice? At 19 about the only thing guys want to do is sleep with you. They're still going to college/etc. and aren't looking to settle down. Do whatever you want, but keep in mind you're 19 so don't be so hard on yourself. Go out, have fun, and minimize your expectaitons
kadya Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 I am so frustrated because people tell me im attractive/beautiful/hot/cute what have you but yet im single. Im 19 and lots of my friends are in serious relationships. I feel so out of place. I really dont want this to come off as 'stuck up' or conceited because i am anything but that. I am simply stating a problem and that problem is WHY the HELL am i single if im all those things listed above. Oh, honey. Wait until you're 30 and asking yourself this same question. Yours Truly 4
ZA Dater Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 I am so frustrated because people tell me im attractive/beautiful/hot/cute what have you but yet im single. Im 19 and lots of my friends are in serious relationships. I feel so out of place. I really dont want this to come off as 'stuck up' or conceited because i am anything but that. I am simply stating a problem and that problem is WHY the HELL am i single if im all those things listed above. Its not only looks im complimented on, guys and gals say im down to earth, friendly, funny so i really dont know whats wrong with me? Guys seem to only want to sleep with me. I really think it has something to do with my age bracket OR i am going for the wrong men. For example one guy said he would marry me but he doesn't want anything serious because he is young and wants to have 'fun'. I am seriously considering just engaging in casual sex or a fwb kind of thing because I cannot secure a relationship for god knows what reason and I am getting irritated if you know what I mean. Any advice? Must be a USA phenomenon , here what is single is usually of the troll variety looks wise. One motto in life is to think carefully before you do anything, weigh up the pros and cons and then decide how you will feel about it afterwards. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not going fwb route but if you find a really nice guy then maybe consider this. Choose wisely though!
d0nnivain Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 If at 19 you are dating (& believing) some guy who tells you he would marry you but he just wants to have fun, yes, you are picking the wrong men. At this point you are so hung up on your single status & so consumed by it, men are picking up on your subconscious desperation & staying away. Learn to be happy in your own skin. Take up hobbies. Find yourself. Concentrate on your studies. When you like who you are beyond the superficial looks you will find a companion. 4
carhill Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Any advice? Boring fatherly advice, since you're 19 - Focus on your education and life goals and be open to social interaction and socially interact in a manner which you enjoy and whatever young men come into your life, do. 2
markleymassraff Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 lol, at 19 I hadn't even kissed anyone yet. Even worse was my 11 year old nephew lamenting that he was destined to be "single forever," lol. OP, I understand how you feel though. But know that there are a lot of really attractive "catches" that are single. One of my best friends is like the epitome of perfection to me...and she has long periods of being single. She has some involvements and dates, but they don't turn out to be relationships. She's perfect-looking, educated, well-mannered, cultured, all that sh*t, and she still doesn't have some great relationship. 2
carhill Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 To answer your title question: Why are alot of good looking people single? Attractive appearance is a part, in some realms a large part, of social power. Socially powerful people have more relationship choices and can more easily choose any particular relationship they want. After that point, things are relatively equal. They can be single because, for them, finding a start point for a relationship is easy so they take their time and are very selective. There's an old saying in my neck of the woods that beggars can't be choosers. Well, good looking people in our world which focuses on physical appearance are definitely not beggars and they can indeed by choosy. Hence, single or coupled, when they choose. One you discover, and more importantly learn how to manipulate, the social power your beauty brings, things will fall into place. Until then, IMO focus on the foundation, because that is what will sustain the relationships you choose to participate in. Your looks gets you the employer's chair for the interviews. Everything else is up to you. 2
SawtoothMars Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Any advice? I got married at 20... While in college! Tons of serious guys out there... and most don't like the FWB girls. Actually that was a big deal breaker for me at that age. I would say that likely you are hanging with the wrong crowd. 2
BlueIris Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 I got married at 20... While in college! Tons of serious guys out there... ... I agree. I met my husband at 19 and we were married at 23. There are plenty of people (your age and of all ages) who are interested only in monogamous committed relationships. Sure, there are lots who follow the have-fun date-around philosophy too and that's great for them, nothing wrong with that at all. But only can decide what's right for you. Don't let social pressure make you do things you don't want to, whether it's dating people you don't want to or getting into a relationship of any kind that you don't want to. If you're an attractive young woman, you're going to get a lot of people paying attention to you and even some imposing their beliefs about what THEY think you should be doing. Learn to brush it off. That's their stuff, not yours. 1
Gary S Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 You just have not met the right man yet. Love could be right around the corner. 1
elaine567 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 I am seriously considering just engaging in casual sex or a fwb kind of thing because I cannot secure a relationship for god knows what reason and I am getting irritated if you know what I mean. Any advice? I would try and avoid that, once guys put you in the FWB category, you will find it even more difficult to find anyone to take you seriously.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Ehh, there's nothing wrong with FWB. Humans need sex
elaine567 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Ehh, there's nothing wrong with FWB. Humans need sex Of course they do. No-one said anything about not needing sex.
preraph Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Please don't get in a hurry to get married or have kids. This is the time for just having fun. An analogy is when you first look for a house to buy, you see one house and think, that would be okay. Then the more houses you look at, the more details you notice and you begin to really get an idea what you need in a house. This is the time to just get to know different people and find out which ones make you happy. At your age, I would say the majority of guys (and this is an important qualification) who have the confidence to talk to you or ask you out probably do just want to have sex with different girls because at this age, while it's not impossible to find someone with more mature ideas, it's really not the norm. This is the time to shop.
markleymassraff Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 I've been both FWB to some guys and also had serious boyfriends. I don't know what other women's experiences are, but I've definitely not been labeled or assumed "FWB" material to every guy on the basis of having done that once or twice. I think I'm perhaps a rare person who wants a relationship but is also down with FWB while still looking for someone to have a relationship with. I don't engage in FWB with just anybody though. It has to be someone I'm really, really into -- or at the least, very, very attracted to -- but who just doesn't want anything serious with me, so I have to keep my eyes open for something else/better.
Strength in Healing Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 (edited) why most good looking people are single is: They can be egotistical, which can be a turn offThey make other people nervous (they're thinking you could be out of their league, you could be a player, etc.)Good looking people tend to have high standards, so they limit their options. That's just a few examples. Can't tell you all the girls I've gone out on dates with who said they thought I was a bad boy/player. I shrug and say thank you. It's a compliment if you ask me. I'm also egotistical, and have high standards. Edited April 3, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Solicitation of personal information redacted. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Women mature emotionally faster than most men. So while you may be ready for something serious @ 19, 99% of guys in that age bracket just want to f**k. One reason why I actually dated older women when I was younger is because I was an old soul. Went through puberty starting @ age 9, and basically felt like a 35 year old trapped in a 15 year old's body..LOL That was one of the main reasons why I could never date in high school. Just couldn't relate to women my own age. 2
Vercetti Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 You're 19 what the hell worried about anything for. I would say FWB not a good place to go. Personally would never have a serious relationship with someone that was basically open to masturbation with other people's bodies. As for the topic question. 1. Attractive people don't know they are and have insecurity like everyone else. 2. Attractive people can intimidate the crap out of others. So they don't get aproached as often and others might mistrust them. 3. Attractive people completely depending on looks and never develop any real social skills and can have horrid personalities. 4. Attractive people figure if can get what want, why should they limit themselves to one person in a commitied relationship. 5. Attractive is reletive and everyone has the same problems. 3
SmartDude Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 So ya I happen to be one of those guys who attract women without trying. Good looks, Tall handsome plus I am an artist. Blah blah blah. The most common problem I run into as a guy in this situation: 1) She thinks I must be dating a lot of women, but I am home alone most nights. 2) Because she thinks I must have a lot of options she gets defensive-jealous and starts dating other men. 3)Becuase she is disracting herself with other men, I have no chance to develop a deeper bond. 4) She interprets my distance as me not desiring her, which makes her feel rejected. But in reality I never had a chance, she did it to herself. 5) Rinse and repeat. 2
Vercetti Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 Lulz trying to tell shy girl not player when random women saying hi to you.
Noproblem Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 being single is not a shame you are not in a race to get a guy to prove to the world you've got yourself someone What matters is Are you happy with that guy or are you happier being single And frankly you are too young to be in a serious relationship, you should focus on building your future, and during that time you will meet many guys that might change your current relationship state.
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