Superman2024 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 So I actually had an attractive woman who seems like a good initial match contact me first on OKC. We've been messaging the past three days and she gave me her number. Today I suggested we talk or meet soon. She said she wanted to see how it goes and that she wants to get to know me more first. She's turned down my offer to meet, doesn't want to talk, and only wants to text. She responds to texts quickly but she's only asked me one question the entire conversation (how are you?). She's new to online dating but how in the world is she supposed to get to know me if she never asks me anything? I'm learning some about her despite her short messages, but this is going nowhere fast. This makes no sense to me, especially since she contacted me first.
Buddhist Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Don't bother with a career texter, you will spend your first date watching her play on instagram. 3
fitnessfan365 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 (edited) Dating is like sales. If you give up at the first sign of objection, you'll never close. However, you also have to be indifferent and be willing to walk away from any woman (no matter how hot she is) that wastes your time. Indifference is ultimately more attractive than needy behavior or being a nice guy wuss who jumps through hoops. So first you be a bit persistent and attempt to beat the objection. The best two ways to break through an objection with women in my experince are - playful humor, and assertive confidence. One puts her at ease, and the other shows her that you're not a push over. Then if she still won't budge, you walk away. This is how I would handle it : Me : When r u free to talk on the phone? Her : I'd like to stick with texting for now. Me : Oh so you're one of those? Her : What do you mean? Me : A man pretending to be a woman. ;-P Her : Haha.. I promise I'm a woman. Me : I look forward to you proving me wrong. ;-) When should I call? Scenario 1 : She gives a day/time. Then you call her, and if the call goes well you make plans right there on the spot. Scenario 2 : She still insists on texting. My response : "OK. I'll call someone else. Good luck to u". Edited April 3, 2015 by fitnessfan365 4
Diezel Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Don't even waste your time. She just wants a penpal. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Yep... I've had my fair share of these OP, they're called Penpals. I would back off on the contact a bit, let her hang a bit between responses. And then try ONE more time - if she still says NO, then just tell her to let you know whenever she's ready and go No Contact on her. In my experience, I never hear back from them again when I leave the ball in their court. Then they probably come on here and ask why guys want to meet so fast.
Author Superman2024 Posted April 3, 2015 Author Posted April 3, 2015 Dating is like sales. If you give up at the first sign of objection, you'll never close. However, you also have to be indifferent and be willing to walk away from any woman (no matter how hot she is) that wastes your time. Indifference is ultimately more attractive than needy behavior or being a nice guy wuss who jumps through hoops. So first you be a bit persistent and attempt to beat the objection. The best two ways to break through an objection with women in my experince are - playful humor, and assertive confidence. One puts her at ease, and the other shows her that you're not a push over. Then if she still won't budge, you walk away. This is how I would handle it : Me : When r u free to talk on the phone? Her : I'd like to stick with texting for now. Me : Oh so you're one of those? Her : What do you mean? Me : A man pretending to be a woman. ;-P Her : Haha.. I promise I'm a woman. Me : I look forward to you proving me wrong. ;-) When should I call? Scenario 1 : She gives a day/time. Then you call her, and if the call goes well you make plans right there on the spot. Scenario 2 : She still insists on texting. My response : "OK. I'll call someone else. Good luck to u". Like the others said, I'm probably wasting my time but I do like the idea of sending her something clever like this. Thanks, I'll give it a shot!
Gary S Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 If they won't talk on the phone and only want to text, they have problems. I'd look to date other women. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Hmm, I don't mind making first meet plans via text (online dating). To each their own I guess But yes, FitnessFan is correct you need to be indifferent and if they're laying hoops for you to jump through, **** that ****.
Author Superman2024 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 Dating is like sales. If you give up at the first sign of objection, you'll never close. However, you also have to be indifferent and be willing to walk away from any woman (no matter how hot she is) that wastes your time. Indifference is ultimately more attractive than needy behavior or being a nice guy wuss who jumps through hoops. So first you be a bit persistent and attempt to beat the objection. The best two ways to break through an objection with women in my experince are - playful humor, and assertive confidence. One puts her at ease, and the other shows her that you're not a push over. Then if she still won't budge, you walk away. This is how I would handle it : Me : When r u free to talk on the phone? Her : I'd like to stick with texting for now. Me : Oh so you're one of those? Her : What do you mean? Me : A man pretending to be a woman. ;-P Her : Haha.. I promise I'm a woman. Me : I look forward to you proving me wrong. ;-) When should I call? Scenario 1 : She gives a day/time. Then you call her, and if the call goes well you make plans right there on the spot. Scenario 2 : She still insists on texting. My response : "OK. I'll call someone else. Good luck to u". So I took your advice and gave this a shot and here's what I got so far. I'm not sure how well it worked out with this one, lol. Me: So you still just want to text? I suspected you might be one of those... Her: One of what? Me: A man pretending to be a woman ;-P Her: I'm so confused Me: You'll have to let me call you so I know you're not secretly a guy You never know with someone online, lol Her: You're exhausting Me: You know you like it
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 (edited) So I took your advice and gave this a shot and here's what I got so far. I'm not sure how well it worked out with this one, lol. Me: So you still just want to text? I suspected you might be one of those... Her: One of what? Me: A man pretending to be a woman ;-P Her: I'm so confused Me: You'll have to let me call you so I know you're not secretly a guy You never know with someone online, lol Her: You're exhausting Me: You know you like it She seems lukewarm to you. That's my .02 I take that back.. more like borderline disinterested. Edited April 6, 2015 by barcode88 1
fred123 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 i don't think a girl who is interested would say you are exhausting when you are clearly trying ti flirt with her. hmm would be nice to get girls evaluating this convo 1
smackie9 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 It's just crap. If she was interested she would ask questions, like what do you do for fun?, What movies do you like? You into sushi? You like animals? etc. simple stuff like that. If they are being vague/playing games, you ditch them asap.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 Girls like this are the type who get all pissy when you won't pen pal them. Her responses are very passive and there is very low visible interest. I'd cut this one loose OP.
fred123 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 why do women act like this then? poor OP did nothing wrong
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 why do women act like this then? poor OP did nothing wrong Some girls (Especially on free sites like OKC) just want an ego boost, or pen pals. Some have the notion that they need to talk for weeks at a time nonstop before they meet you in real life. It's hard to say, but in my experience paid sites like Match I don't have this problem. But I did encounter a couple serial-texters on OKC when I used it a bit. Pay sites are great because Women pay just like Men do, and they will want to date as much as possible before they have to re-up their subscription
fitnessfan365 Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 So I took your advice and gave this a shot and here's what I got so far. I'm not sure how well it worked out with this one, lol. Me: So you still just want to text? I suspected you might be one of those... Her: One of what? Me: A man pretending to be a woman ;-P Her: I'm so confused Me: You'll have to let me call you so I know you're not secretly a guy You never know with someone online, lol Her: You're exhausting Me: You know you like it Remember what I said though man. You walk away from women that waste your time. If she still insists on texting only, you tell her that you'll call someone else and wish her good luck. A woman that's serious about potentially meeting someone, won't keep delaying the process after a guy has attempted to move it to the phone. So at this point, I'd just drop her to be honest. 1
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted April 6, 2015 Posted April 6, 2015 (edited) So I took your advice and gave this a shot and here's what I got so far. I'm not sure how well it worked out with this one, lol. Me: So you still just want to text? I suspected you might be one of those... Her: One of what? Me: A man pretending to be a woman ;-P Her: I'm so confused Me: You'll have to let me call you so I know you're not secretly a guy You never know with someone online, lol Her: You're exhausting Me: You know you like it LOL. It seems that you have a woman whose interest in you is nearly non-existent - except of course to have you as a textbuddy. Fred123 is curious as to what some of the women on here would do with a text convo like this. How I would respond if I was a reluctant phone caller like the OP's date prospect: Guy: So you still just want to text? I suspected you might be one of those... Me: One of those what? Guy: A man pretending to be a woman ;-P Me: Ha! I'm definitely a woman! Guy: You'll have to let me call you so I know you're not secretly a guy You never know with someone online, lol Me: Hmm, why not? And this way, I can make sure you're not a woman lol Guy: What a brat you are! OP, I can understand her reluctance to meet you right off the bat...but I mean, c'mon! Seriously, it's only a phone call! Why wouldn't she want to hear your voice (to see if it's sexy, manly, or sounds like SpongeBob lol) and hear how you talk? Why wouldn't she want to TALK to you to see if there's any chem or camaraderie and to hear the intonation in your voice? Why wouldn't she want to do ANY of those things? Because her intention is NOT to meet you in person. . Edited April 6, 2015 by BlackOpsZombieGirl
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