pippen_2k Posted April 14, 2005 Posted April 14, 2005 M Ex G/F who dumped me just over 3 months ago, has just started getting back into contact with me, and we are now acting just like friends. She came over to show me her car on Monday, we went out for dinner on Tuesday night and we chatted over the net tonight... in a 'just friends' sorta way. She has initiated contact a couple of times. but for the majority of the time its me. She too is also the one who ends the talks and meetings EVERY TIME. Maybe she is happy with this..I dunno.. maybe I am just an uncomfortable friend to her.. but for me, this ' just being friends' is killing me. I have far too many feelings for her just to be her friend. I definatley want more from her. I guess my question is... do I just act cool and show her that I dont need her to make me happy? Everytime ive seen her ive acted happy, and done nothin silly like get all mushy on her... I dont wanna show her my weak side cause that got me absolutley nowhere for the past 2 months! Do I tell her I still have feelings for her, and to ignore me completley if I try to contact her, or do I just keep to myself and let her initiate the contact in the future, cause if theres a chance I can get back with her I wanna do it the right way. Im just finding this really hard to let go. She has given me no false hope of late.. but me being me thinks there is hope if she has been talking to me again. Some advice please , im kinda stuck....
RoxStar Posted April 14, 2005 Posted April 14, 2005 If you are struggling with letting go you should probably not have this type of friends relationship yet. It may prevent you from being able to move on. I would consider NC again. Just my thoughts though. You might be a lot stronger then I could be. Good luck!
alphamale Posted April 14, 2005 Posted April 14, 2005 just totally blow her of and try to find another girl. when your ex finds out you may be with someone else her interest in you could return. either way, what ever you do don't be friends with the ex.
Marshbear Posted April 14, 2005 Posted April 14, 2005 I would have NC with her. She probably feels guilty for dumping you so is trying to make herself feel better by staying in touch with you. She isn't concerned about your feelings or she would ask you if it is alright to contact you. If you dumped her do you think she would want to hang out with you? I doubt it. I would let her go and have the barest contact with her for however long it takes you to get over her. Move on....
alphamale Posted April 14, 2005 Posted April 14, 2005 Originally posted by Marshbear I would have NC with her. She probably feels guilty for dumping you so is trying to make herself feel better by staying in touch with you. She isn't concerned about your feelings or she would ask you if it is alright to contact you. If you dumped her do you think she would want to hang out with you? I doubt it. I would let her go and have the barest contact with her for however long it takes you to get over her. great advice MARSHBEAR. she is more worried about her own feelings here than anything else.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 14, 2005 Posted April 14, 2005 I have far too many feelings for her just to be her friend. this ' just being friends' is killing me. You need to let her know this, and sever this false friendship. Pretending to be friends when its not 'just friends' that you want is unfair to you both.
alphamale Posted April 14, 2005 Posted April 14, 2005 Originally posted by LucreziaBorgia You need to let her know this, and sever this false friendship. Pretending to be friends when its not 'just friends' that you want is unfair to you both. Actually, LCB, I would suggest he sever the false friendship without letting her know anything.
westernxer Posted April 14, 2005 Posted April 14, 2005 She stuck a knife in your heart... now she's bleeding you dry. What are YOU gonna do?
Author pippen_2k Posted April 14, 2005 Author Posted April 14, 2005 Thanks for the advice everyone! I think I might just go down the path of what alphamale suggested, cutting my ties with her without telling her. Since I was initiating majority of the contact, I think if I adopt the NC rule , I might not even hear from her.... Ill only tell her how I feel, if she starts wanting to hang out more or starts calling... Ive just realised the past couple days how much I have missed her company, but if the feelings aint the same in return im only wasting my time..... I keep trying to convince myself theres something there when really there isnt! I definatley havnt gone back to day 1 with these recent meetings with her, but at the same time, I find myself cut up like hell everytime she leaves.... so yeah I know what I gotta do Thanks everyone!
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