Seeker12 Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 Hey guys, need some help, advice, support and encouragement - i have been down all day today, in a sense crippled. Really thinking things over, feeling bad and down and just being unsociable and maybe depressed? I have been in proper NC with my ex for over 3/4 months now, about the same time she started a new relationship with a new guy. The thought that plays over in my head is her mate, and yes i know i shouldnt have gone there but her mate brought it up with me instead of me enquiring, her mate telling me how my ex said she really likes her new guy and he likes her, how they want to marry, how their feelings for eachother wont change and how they will do their best and fight to get married against all the odds in a sense (my exs parents wont let her marry this guy because he is of a different background). This is after my ex and i were together for 7 years, she got over me that quickly? And after break up, within a few months shes with someone else, someone she knows her parents wont accept or allow her to have a future with. It honestly hurts really badly, and i just dont know how to get over it, my ex and i mutually broke up because her parents werent accepting of me marrying her, and im from the same background as her.
d0nnivain Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 Healing after a break up is not a straightforward linear process. It's two steps forward & one step back. Today just happens to be a step back day. He's a rebound. Not that you should be thinking about him or them. But he's a rebound. She can say all the garbage she wants about marriage but marrying him against her parents wishes so soon after getting out of an LTR with you is crazy & doomed to fail. Now forget her. What are you doing to cheer yourself up? Is your favorite comfort food in the house? Go get some. Call a dear friend. Play on OL game. Go for a walk. Do something positive for yourself. 1
Strength in Healing Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 Man would I tell your friend to shut the hell up if I were you. That's cruel to tell someone that their ex is happy and stuff. No point to that, unless you were having extreme trouble moving on and needed a cruel push. Anyways, understand, the pain is your friend. It hurts, but you should learn to love that hurt, as that hurt is your mind accepting and moving on -- healing. Embrace the pain, no matter how dark and how painful, and you start to become invincible.
Author Seeker12 Posted April 2, 2015 Author Posted April 2, 2015 Thanks d0nnivain you dont know how much your post has helped honestly - im a guy who in a 7 year relationship only cried twice in front of his ex - and now ive just cried to release the stress inside me. It does go back and forth - this day has come after a week of pretty good progress and happiness. I hate it, i hate that im so concerned, i hate putting myself through this, i hate my body reacting in such a negative manner, youre right i shouldnt be concerned, i try not to be but my mind just wanders stupidly. Right now - im chatting to a few mates ones helping me out - the others just having a laugh with - ive been off gym - i just feel a halt again on my life - thanks for the advice i havent done anything to cheer myself up today other than work on a project. Thanks, regardless of the time of day, im going to do something for me.
Author Seeker12 Posted April 2, 2015 Author Posted April 2, 2015 Man would I tell your friend to shut the hell up if I were you. That's cruel to tell someone that their ex is happy and stuff. No point to that, unless you were having extreme trouble moving on and needed a cruel push. Anyways, understand, the pain is your friend. It hurts, but you should learn to love that hurt, as that hurt is your mind accepting and moving on -- healing. Embrace the pain, no matter how dark and how painful, and you start to become invincible. I dont consider them my friend anymore in a sense, i only knew her and got on speaking terms with her because of my ex, so shes her friend. So damn right the next time she comes round to spit on my face im going to tell her to get lost, ive politely told her last week. The pain just hurts so much physically, its crippling, and i hate it, i hate just being dominated by this whilst my ex has just shot off, i should have been the one to shoot off im not just talking about being in another relationship, i should have moved on by now, harder, faster, stronger, i never expected myself to react like this - but damn, you start to become invincible.
Strength in Healing Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 She jumped to another relationship because clearly she is missing some part of her heart or mind, or both. You are the one who is in pain, and often times, that shows you were the one who can feel, care, etc... which means that really, it is her loss. 1
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