Fleasle Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 I am having a really hard time concinving my heart to believe my mind. My mind knows this is a good thing, that we brokeup, but my heart.....it always lags so far behind my mind. Backstory: Lesbian drama of 2 couples.....myself and my ex were together 3 years....her ex and her were together 10 years....our exes cheated together...got together....we met and ended up together too.....we were together 7 months....as were our exes.... SO much drama. OMG. My gf left me for her ex for 2 weeks, then came back and she could never forgive her for cheating....came back to me. We got back together....moved in together after only 2 months......were together for 5 more months til 2 weeks ago..... I had a huge chip on my shoulder because she left me for her ex for 2 weeks. I never trusted her again. Her ex was never absent for more than a day from our lives (by text). She would not "make her ex" go away. Her ex put an enourmous pressure on her to pick her and they even went to court over custody of my ex's non biological children. We fought a lot about her ex's presence in our life....we fought about the trust issues because when she left me for her ex she lied to me and lied to me several other times too... So, we broke up with a relationship of 7 months that was filled with drama of exes, mistrust, anger, lies, disrespect.....yet I am still sad. My head knows this is right, my heart just doesn't agree yet. We have been broken up almost 2 weeks now, but due to having phones on same account and the terribly difficult that has been to seperate them, we have been in touch all days but 1. I am seeing a counselor and have been for months because of my trust issues.....i do not think my trust issues with her were anything other than legitimate considering her ex wouldn't leave her alone AND she left me for her for 2 weeks while "figuring out" things. Sorry I am rambling...I have had a few beers. Just sad because I really did love her...I know we moved too quick....I know we didn't process our hurt from previous relationships before we got together....I know it all. Still hurts and is a rejection. When does the heart and mind catch up with each other?
d0nnivain Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 The heart & the mind eventually do catch up but you are right to make this decision logically not emotionally. Hang in there. 1
Ruby65 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Wow -- that does sound like so much drama! And there's nothing worse than being with someone who has an ex that won't go away, that must've been horrible to have to deal with that. It's going to take time before you start to feel better -- but it will happen eventually. The counselling will help! Here's a guide that will help you as well: http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com
jen1447 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 I am having a really hard time concinving my heart to believe my mind. My mind knows this is a good thing, that we brokeup, but my heart.....it always lags so far behind my mind. Backstory: Lesbian drama of 2 couples.....myself and my ex were together 3 years....her ex and her were together 10 years....our exes cheated together...got together....we met and ended up together too.....we were together 7 months....as were our exes.... SO much drama. OMG. My gf left me for her ex for 2 weeks, then came back and she could never forgive her for cheating....came back to me. We got back together....moved in together after only 2 months......were together for 5 more months til 2 weeks ago..... I had a huge chip on my shoulder because she left me for her ex for 2 weeks. I never trusted her again. Her ex was never absent for more than a day from our lives (by text). She would not "make her ex" go away. Her ex put an enourmous pressure on her to pick her and they even went to court over custody of my ex's non biological children. We fought a lot about her ex's presence in our life....we fought about the trust issues because when she left me for her ex she lied to me and lied to me several other times too... So, we broke up with a relationship of 7 months that was filled with drama of exes, mistrust, anger, lies, disrespect.....yet I am still sad. My head knows this is right, my heart just doesn't agree yet. We have been broken up almost 2 weeks now, but due to having phones on same account and the terribly difficult that has been to seperate them, we have been in touch all days but 1. I am seeing a counselor and have been for months because of my trust issues.....i do not think my trust issues with her were anything other than legitimate considering her ex wouldn't leave her alone AND she left me for her for 2 weeks while "figuring out" things. Sorry I am rambling...I have had a few beers. Just sad because I really did love her...I know we moved too quick....I know we didn't process our hurt from previous relationships before we got together....I know it all. Still hurts and is a rejection. When does the heart and mind catch up with each other? It'll take a while. Maybe a long while. Two weeks is very early on in the process, so you're gonna have to bear down for more of this. You'll get thru it tho - everyone does. My suggestion is don't try to avoid the pain. Wallow in it instead. That's because you need to process, and the way you do that is by getting down in the dirt and dealing with your grief. You have to experience grief, no way around it, so avoidance just delays your processing. Good luck hugs.
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