Premiere Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 I wish I'd found LS sooner. I was dumped 2 months ago and rather than just going NC, I begged for a second chance, remained friends/fwb, and continued to talk to (usually at my initiation) and spend time with him. Basically I made ALL the mistakes possible. I even asked his brother how he felt about me. His brother said he's "confused". After everything, I realized I deserve a whole lot more than "confused". It's only Day 3 of NC. But that's a big step for me. I've finally removed him from Facebook and my phone contacts. Mutual friends means I'll still see him every other weekend but I won't be anything more than cordial. He's also enlisted. He leaves for boot camp in June and will be gone for 3 months. I don't know what that'll mean for us but he knows where to find me. The wounds are still fresh and I think it's time to step back and accept that if it's meant to be, it will be. If not, I finally get to let myself heal. It'll be hard but hopefully worth it!
OneBigIdgit Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 Can you point to a solid reason/s for the breakup? NC is the only sensible way to handle most breakups no matter the reason. I just think that if the reason given only takes a minor change in the dumpee then there is a great chance to reconcile. If you so choose. It's those vague clusters of reasons that make me wonder if the dumper really has a reason and just wants out. Even those can work out later, after driving both parties bonkers 1
Author Premiere Posted April 2, 2015 Author Posted April 2, 2015 Can you point to a solid reason/s for the breakup? NC is the only sensible way to handle most breakups no matter the reason. I just think that if the reason given only takes a minor change in the dumpee then there is a great chance to reconcile. If you so choose. It's those vague clusters of reasons that make me wonder if the dumper really has a reason and just wants out. Even those can work out later, after driving both parties bonkers I was (and still am) going through a rough patch in my life. I wasn't happy with what I was doing, had a lot of family drama, and was considering leaving school. I had stopped going for nearly two weeks, after which he found out. He simply asked me how I was doing in school and I told him it was fine. It was a lie. A small one, but it was still a lie about the bigger issues I was avoiding. He was hurt that I didn't tell him what was going on. He thought, in my eyes, he didn't matter enough to know. He wondered what else I could lie about in the future, and decided that he "couldn't get any more invested than he already was." We talked about the breakup two weeks ago. He told me he was frustrated that I didn't talk to him about it and that he couldn't understand why I lied. He kept saying that communication is the most important part of a relationship. Whenever he tried to talk to me about school or family, I always avoided it and it frustrated him because he just wanted to help and understand. Short version: I shut him out. I didn't tell him what was going on. Lack of communication led to lost trust, and ultimately the breakup.
OneBigIdgit Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 Guys want to fix things for their gfs. They at least want to feel like the gf trusts them enough to talk out the issues. Ok. You lied to him and left him out of a very important issue to you and obviously to him. I think most guys would rant and rave about it a little while and then move on to much more pleasant activities. The fact that he broke up soon after makes me wonder if he wasn't going to anyway. It could be that him entering boot camp is stressing him out and he knows that for the next few months he is going to be away from you. You can use his absence in a positive manner. Work on your schoolwork and yourself. After boot camp he is going to have a few days to come back and look you up. Make sure you look your best. Boot camp will make it difficult for him to hook up with anyone else so relax, go NC and work on the issues that you feel make you a better you, whether he returns 1
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