Twigyy Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 It has been exactly a month of NC, probably around 2-3 months after the breakup. I have no urge of contacting my ex, but I am still sort of clinging to the hope that she will contact me, as there is not a single breadcrumb. I feel like I am not progressing in terms of healing these few days. I've dis activated my Facebook, blocked her number, hidden all the things that triggers, including all her photos, changed all my profile pictures. Is there anything I am missing out at this point of time of NC?
Throldur Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 It has been exactly a month of NC, probably around 2-3 months after the breakup. I have no urge of contacting my ex, but I am still sort of clinging to the hope that she will contact me, as there is not a single breadcrumb. I feel like I am not progressing in terms of healing these few days. I've dis activated my Facebook, blocked her number, hidden all the things that triggers, including all her photos, changed all my profile pictures. Is there anything I am missing out at this point of time of NC? There's no way she can contact you, man. If you want that to be a reality, going full NC isn't going to solve that.. if after awhile the feelings persist that you want her back, you can open up your FB and un-block her number.. Either she'll find her way back to you (then you decide it is worth it.. don't jump to it) or you'll find someone else. The thing about ex partners contacting you.. they only ever do it once you've stopped thinking about them all the time and kind of give up. Let go and let god, as they say..
privategal Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 I heard that at some points when your feeling the lowest thats actually a breakthrough coming around the corner...so hold tight. Ive experienced a lot of "rock bottoms " in nc and then its followed by a period of much better. Your hearts still coming to terms and hope is normal. Breadcrumbs are BAD news every time so its good to have none even when that hurts. Pull up your boot straps time has got to do its thing. 1
darkbloom Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 The feelings come and go. I am 4 months post BU and over 3 months strict NC. Today I really missed him all day and hoped he would get in contact. But the last few weeks I haven't missed him very much. I'm sure I will feel better tomorrow. I just woke up with it. I promised the girls I work with that I won't bring him up at all. That helps the most. I have to focus on something else to talk about and can't beat the same dead horse about how much I miss him. If he wanted to talk to me or had anything to say, he would find a way to get in contact. But he hasn't, so he won't. 1
LYNNLH Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 One month plus NC...setbacks after setbacks..been crying (or on the verge of crying) daily.. But yet..I'm still on strict NC too. I never ever have the urge to break it..never. I don't know why. Probably my heart is so broken up that I fear further hurt from this person. I avoid everything about this person like a plague. 1
Throldur Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 One month plus NC...setbacks after setbacks..been crying (or on the verge of crying) daily.. But yet..I'm still on strict NC too. I never ever have the urge to break it..never. I don't know why. Probably my heart is so broken up that I fear further hurt from this person. I avoid everything about this person like a plague. Im in NC but truthfully, I can't break NC.. She's blocked me from FB, Twitter and moved so she would have a new number. Literally the only way NC gets broken is if I e-mail her (she's moved away, so what good would this do anyways?) or she contacts me.. which would only happen when her moving away experiment fails and she actually comes to terms with the fact she threw away the best guy she'd ever get for a pipe dream. Problem I have, in spite of her moving away, is that all the cards were pulled from my deck. I can't contact, I can't see her, I can't do anything but hope.. and everything in the world just ****ing sucks. Being single at a party, back online dating, it all just reminds me of how miserable I was and how I am here again.. when I finally had everything I could have ever wanted but I'm never gonna have it again, unless my one slim chance comes true.. just kind of sucks accepting reality that the one chance at true happiness I had was cut from me due to her own issues..
Author Twigyy Posted April 3, 2015 Author Posted April 3, 2015 So I have broken my NC, and I know you guys are gonna shout at me.. I felt that it was something I had to do for me to move on. Last week I kept checking my phone for her message that she is sorry and she wants me back. I kept stalking and stalking trying to find breadcrumbs too. So today I've decided to shut the door. I've sent a couple of texts to her, saying that I've learnt a lot, and I don't care what she thinks of me anymore, and it will be the last message that I'll send her, and that I've moved on. And this was the response: I'm glad that you are able to move on or at least let go, and no matter what I say nothing will never make up for the pain I have caused you. I chose you because you were you.. I know I said it alot, but I will say it again: I hope you will find happiness. Nobody deserves to be unhappy, and especially since I was the one who took it from you.. I never wanted you to to be unhappy. I did and have learnt alot of things, and it's good that you have as well. The time we spent together were truly the best I have had in my life, and that is one thing I will never forget, ever. One day I know you will find someone who will care and love you, and you will be able to know what you have learnt from everything you have gone through. Work hard in school, and best of luck in life. I wish you all the best, and above all: be happy. I'm glad that I've broken NC, and time to reset the clock. NC day 1.
BlackbirdSong Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 oh man, that killed me just reading that. I'm truly sorry.
Author Twigyy Posted April 3, 2015 Author Posted April 3, 2015 I was so tired of waiting everyday. So I decided to break my own heart by hoping that I don't get a " I will miss you " response, and I sure did. No signs of affection, no more hopes. Time to move on I guess. 1
Author Twigyy Posted April 3, 2015 Author Posted April 3, 2015 Now I have shut the door myself, a sense of fear just came rushing in. Afraid that I might not love again? Afraid that I've ****ed myself over? I feel very very confused.. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh
na49 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Only you know what's best for you. Everyone here just makes suggestions. You aren't committing a crime for breaking NC. I've been weighing whether I should break NC for my own good, just to get a definitive "she doesn't want me back" answer, but I still have held off because I don't want to get hurt. I'm glad you followed your heart, and did what you felt you had to do. This is it though. Reread her message whenever you think she wants you back. You told her yourself that you won't message her again, so make sure you stick to it. 2
Throldur Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Now I have shut the door myself, a sense of fear just came rushing in. Afraid that I might not love again? Afraid that I've ****ed myself over? I feel very very confused.. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh Well, at least her response was very civil. You weren't painted in a negative light. Things just didn't work out for you. If she is done with the relationship and is still saying she wants the best for you, I'd say that you should have no regrets in the relationship.. just seems it wasn't the time or the right person for you. There's hope in this.
rollercoaster11 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 That was so brave of you to contact your ex. I know you were looking for a different response. Now the same strength you showed breaking contact...you should now use to regroup and get yourself together besides you are still young and will meet someone else and all this will be just a distant memory. I dont know what it is about moving on but once you do, something brings that ex back into your life but hopefully you want care about her then....Im speaking from experience....it happens every time but when it does you will have the upperhand and will be the one wishing her a happy life without you. Hang in there. 1
TunaCat Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Oh man, this is painful to read. I am so scared of having the same thing happen to me. Actually I think reading this helped me to stay NC, even though I miss him so much. 3
rollercoaster11 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Oh man, this is painful to read. I am so scared of having the same thing happen to me. Actually I think reading this helped me to stay NC, even though I miss him so much. Thats just what I was thinking......it scared me straight...to continue no contact. 2
Author Twigyy Posted April 4, 2015 Author Posted April 4, 2015 It does feel a little relief after letting go of hope, and there will be no reason for me to wait for either to start contact. I do feel much better than yesterday. Now how do I move on and find happiness in myself?
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