dibdab Posted April 14, 2005 Posted April 14, 2005 I need some adivce on how to deal with this pain, it's been 6 weeks now since i split with my first love and although i know it is for the best, It still hurts like hell that she is with someone else while i am alone. I feel like i want to take revenge as stupid as it is and i won't do it. I am so angry with her for just replacing me with a friend of ours so quickly. How do people just go from person to person like that? i don't get it. I have been out a good few times meeting people and stuff but i have not found anyone that i click with, and i guess i don't want to really, as some time alone is really whats needed because i have never had that. I have properly started no contact now and i hope i can stay strong, it is day three today. But all i want to do is phone her and tell her what a b**** she is for hurting me like this. But the truth is she will either not care or say sorry and i don't want her pity, i don't want her to know how hurt i still am. The last few times i have spoken to her i told her i was happy it was over and that i was feeling good, but also that i was hurting and i missed her which i now regret. I need to concentrate on the fact that it was a bad relationship and that at christmas while she was visiting family for a month that i was happy to have the time to myself and i didn't miss her that much. I wish i had had the guts to end the relationship there and then instead of dragging it out till she found someone else. Please offer me some words of encouragment.
vickimonster Posted April 14, 2005 Posted April 14, 2005 Hey dibdab, good for you doing NC. It sounds like this person has really hurt you and you need some time to heal. Stay strong and don't contact her, if you do try and confront her and blame her, she will only throw back something nasty and untrue that will probably hurt you even more. You said it was a bad relationship, now is the time to concentrate on putting good things back in your life. I know it hurts, but it will hurt more if you get into blaming one another. Stay strong and take care of yourself. Good luck, my thoughts are with you. V
Author dibdab Posted April 15, 2005 Author Posted April 15, 2005 Thanks for the reply vickimonster this no contact is so hard, but i have deleted her from my phone and block and deleted her from my messenger. I'd like to add a little more on how this situation has left me feeling, I feel so useless right now which i feel is down to her although maybe it isn't. I can't study which i was very happy doing before although i felt pressure from her that what i was studying and who i had become was boring. I am was very much into computers and i am at college at the moment studying system support, but i am finding doing all the things that i love not good enough, she very much put me down alot for who i was although she would sit up all night on the computer playing yahoo pool and chatting instead of coming to bed with me. I even feel that the friends i have are not good enough although of course they are. Her friend was very much into drinking and clubbing all weekend and doing loads of drugs, i tried to live that lifestyle for a short while but just wasn't into the comedowns so stopped it all about 2 years ago and point blank refused to put muself into those situations any more as it made me uncomfortable, She continued to go out although not that much say a couple of times a month and would come home and sit on the sofa for most of the week coming down although she would swear blind there was no downside to the all the drugs she took. She would also get very nasty if you even said that she might be feeling low because of it. She also was a everyday pot smoker. 1 of the reasons she gave for leaving me was because i never went out to meet with her drug buddies. Although i liked to hang around with all her other friends including the one she left me for, who by the way is even more straight laced than i am, can just about handle 1 drink doesn't do any drugs whatsoever go's to bed early. That is another thing that kills, if she had left me for someone who was willing to do all the things she hated that i didn't do with her i would understand. But no she wants someone more straight laced, i feel so used it's like she got what she could from me and left. I tried so hard to encourage her to go back to college and to try and stop her dependency on drugs and now when i look back i feel like i didn't get any encourgment just put downs that i wasn't good enough. What can i do to help myself feel better about who i am?
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