newguy1008 Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 So I have a thread open in "dating" under "need to fix this". I have been feeling very stressed and helpless lately. Job security and the fact that I am having issues with my gf have really had me down. I have some god friends that have been talking to me but they just say to take care of me first. which I know I need to do. Not sure what I am asking but just been feeling down and stressed. Been having some trouble eating and I haven't been to the gym since Saturday. But I am just really bothered by everything that is going on. People have it much worse than me which is really making me very annoyed with myself. right now my main thing is to focus on trying to find a new job but my gf issues are in the back of my mind. thank you.
Erica Faith Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 Hi there, newguy! I can only say that if your relationship issues have become a wall that stops you from doing anything else, then resolve them firstly and get back on track. I hope everything works out for you.
d0nnivain Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 Focus on your job search but do continue to be sweet your GF. Many relationships die from neglect. Don't let yours be one of them.
chelsey Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 Let your GF know that she needs to be understanding and supportive right now. You aren't a bum, you're looking for a job, but being unemployed an really get a person down so let her know that it's the biggest thing on your mind now and hopefully she ca be supportive while you search
Author newguy1008 Posted April 3, 2015 Author Posted April 3, 2015 As much as I would like to let her know that I need some support. We are not exactly speaking. But I have a god support system with friends. I am keeping busy as much as I can. Been meeting with friends concerning jobs. I have a job now but I really need to leave it. I'm feeling a littler better. Just trying to keep my mind focused on what I need to do for myself at the moment.
GemmaUK Posted April 4, 2015 Posted April 4, 2015 ..and I see that you broke up. Get back to the gym or do some exercise, you know yourself that it throws you endorphins which make you feel good. The more you exercise the more hungry you will be. Throw together some meals than you can freeze and stick in the microwave. Don't rely on your friends if all you can talk of is your ex as they need you for fun - just as you do them, read up on some psychology and get learning about yourself about body language and how people interact - all of this will stand you in good stead for you, for your job now, your future job and also future relationships. and..if nothing else reading up on the above is rejuvenating in itself as you can apply it to going to the shops or the library or even just people watching if you are not yet ready to dive back into exercise. It is too fascinating to read and watch to give any time to dwell on a RS that failed. Join LinkedIn - it's the place to network and has job opportunities also. Being 'just down' does no one any good. Learn while you are there (at least), take small steps. Your priority is getting a new job by the sound of it so that would be a good focus. 1
Author newguy1008 Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 God I miss her. I want to prove to her that I can do this and be strong. But I need to do that for myself. I'm so miserable right now. I know I'll be fine. But I was hoping she would still be there with me.
Author newguy1008 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 Wow this sucks. I feel empty. But I do have some bright spots. Job interviews this week and a good friend spent some time with me today to talk some sense I to me. She hooked me up with a friend of hers who's a Realtor who wants to help me find a nice place. I just hate this feeling that I can't hug or hold her anymore. She looked so strong yesterday. Wish I knew how she was feeling. Part of me feels like this is all a joke. That she wants to see if I can better myself and prove I can do things. I hate the fact that I am trying to hold on to some hope. I don't want to hold on to hope. I need to take care of myself. It just confuses how she can do this. She went from being loving and affectionate to being stone cold and just calling it quits.
Author newguy1008 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 So I had an interview today. Went well. Have a second on Friday Made me feel a little better. But of course those feelings crept back in as soon as left. She even sent me a message last night telling me she hoped my easter was good. Seriously. You just ripped my heart out. I didn't respond but I was irritated. I wish I was stronger. And I can't even motivate myself to go to the gym.
freelo Posted April 12, 2015 Posted April 12, 2015 Stop being so hard on yourself. We're built to focus on one thing at a time-how is it humanly possible for someone to simultaneously build a new career and establish relationship security at the same time? Yeah, it's hard not to have someone to hug and hang out with intimately. But even in a relationship-there are going to be moments where you can't physically or emotionally be with your partner. So this is a good time to fill your life with new good habits-work on yourself, spend more time with friends and family you love and take up a no-cost creative hobby like drawing or singing (there are tons of tutorials out there-I even create them myself). This is your chance to become a stronger, happier and more independent person-forget her. Forget the past. Focus on the present.
Author newguy1008 Posted April 12, 2015 Author Posted April 12, 2015 Thank you for those words freelo. I've been doing better the last few days. Hadn't been to the gym in a few weeks but it made me feel better. Realized she unfriended on Feb too. Oh well. But I've been focusing on myself and what I need to do. I have been having excellent progress with my job hunt so im hoping I find a good one that will make me happy.
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