HannahGrace Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 My best friend has been in a serious relationship for the last 3yrs with a very dangerous man. As much as they love her her family decided to end contact with her a year after she began seeing him, We all hoped it was a faze that would eventually end but sadly didn't. She is honestly an absolutely beautiful looking girl and has many men chasing after her, She is always chatted up when we go out but she chose this piece of s**t. He is a known gangster and I don't mean just petty crime, its bigger, Its a much bigger organisation, He is involved in drugs, armed robberies & any serious crime going down around here, He has had a threat on his life and been in/out of prison, he is nice to us but he is very intimidating, His prescence alone is enough to make you sit quiet, She isn't afraid of him tho & when they argue they argue bitter. He is very possessive of her, always has been, He doesn't let her too far out of his sight and they have a very intense relationship. From the moment she met him she stupidly fell head over heels for him & looks past all the bad he does, when he'd be arrested she would be in tears. We tried to make her ignore him the night she met but he wouldnt back off and she was drawn to him. They are recently engaged and it is breaking my heart, because she is my best friend and im scared for her. Any advice?
roedeer Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 There are girls drawn to men who are criminal/killer/drug dealers. They just like intense and extreme laureateship, I don't think you can do much to help
elaine567 Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 As long as he is not beating her up or intimidating her, or being nasty to her or in any way abusing her, then I think you may just have to let it be. She is an adult and she has chosen her path, just continue being a good friend to her, stop trying to convince her to get out or run him down, you will only alienate her and you will lose a friend. Your job, as her true friend, is to stick around and pick up the pieces when it all goes sour. It may do, it may not. Who knows? 2
kendahke Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 The only advice I have is to either be her supportive friend or cut her loose. She's shown not only you but her family that this man is here to stay. She's an adult and can make her own decisions and she's decided that he's her man. There is nothing we can tell you to tell her that will make her drop him if even the cops putting handcuffs on him doesn't do it.
Gary S Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 She's an adult with a mind of her own, nothing you can do about it, I'd let it go. Sometimes people have to learn the hard way, some have to be brought down to their knees to see the light.
stillafool Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 She's in love with his bad boy ways. You can forget about her giving him up. They will marry so get used to it. 2
Strength in Healing Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 She's in love with his bad boy ways. You can forget about her giving him up. They will marry so get used to it. Lol is anyone else surprised at how unsurprising it is to hear about a beautiful and kind girl marrying a psychopath? Is what it is, and girls who like nice guys have to realize this is the reality. I don't condone crime though for obvious reasons (look at my sig). Do tell, what city is this guy in and what kind of major crime has he done? 2
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 Wow, her family alienated her over this guy? Must be some serious **** he's into. I'd probably steer clear of her and not get sucked into this mess to be honest, if she won't listen to her friends/family (you've all approached her on this right?) and you all make a disappearing act, maybe she'll figure out what she's losing. I mean I think everyone is entitled to see who they want, and friends SHOULD accept that... BUT I think in this case there are exceptions, and when it's your friends wellbeing you should put your foot down.
kayla73 Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 Unfortunately, there really isn't anything you can do. You seem to really care about your friend's safety, so the only thing I would say is to just keep an eye on her. If you notice that she is being mistreated in any way, notify her family and/or the police. Don't be afraid to talk to the police about your friend's situation if it means saving her life. She may never want to talk to you again, but she'll come around and realize what you did for her. 1
elaine567 Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 If he is as bad as you say and this is organized crime, then do not put yourself in the position of "grass", you and/or your family could pay for it. Keep safe. 1
preraph Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 I wonder if the family abandoned her or if he isolated her and got her to abandon the family. If he is abusive, which seems likely, the first thing they do is try to get them to stop seeing their friends and family because they know they can influence her. 1
Krieger Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 There are girls drawn to men who are criminal/killer/drug dealers. They just like intense and extreme laureateship, I don't think you can do much to help Well some woman have what is called Hybristophilia is a person (more likely a woman) who is attracted to men who commit extreme crimes, such as rape and murder. Many hybristophiliacs send fan mail to men in prison. Scott Peterson, the man who was convicted of murdering his wife and unborn child, had been on Death Row barely an hour when the first proposal arrived.
No Limit Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 She's into bad boys and she got the "toughest guy" in the whole town. You see a dirty thug, she sees a king. Advise her to take up boxing classes, she'll need them a few years into marriage when she becomes whiny about his cheating and he becomes aggressive over it. proof that females prefer jerks *Proof that OP's friend prefers jerks.
Author HannahGrace Posted April 5, 2015 Author Posted April 5, 2015 Thanks for the replies guys but I cant just turn my back on her, we have been friends since we were 3yo, But at the same time I don't know what else to do
katiegrl Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 How about an intervention? Like what friends and family conduct with a drug/alcohol addicted/dependent person. Only in her case, her sociopathic boyfriend is her drug of choice!! And it sounds like she is addicted to him AND this entire dysfunctional and toxic relationship BAD! She needs help and guidance to get back to REALITY.... Just a thought... If you don't and she marries this man, you may wake up to a phone call one morning that she is severely hurt...or worse...dead!
Leigh 87 Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 Don't touch it. He could harm you and / or your family if you voice your concerns and this thug finds out. 1
Grogo Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 Thanks for the replies guys but I cant just turn my back on her, we have been friends since we were 3yo, But at the same time I don't know what else to do If you were smart it would be the boyfriend or you.
Recommended Posts