trevzilla Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 So I had another online date today. As usual I felt zero attraction for her in person and made a speedy escape. You just can't project the attraction you feel in person over the internet. The result is a colossal waste of time meeting women I'd never ask out if I met them in the real world. The reason I have relied on it until now, is I'm a Christian and I only want to date like minded women. When you're 44 the prospects are few and far between at church and volunteering. That being said, tonight was the last online date I will ever go on. Such a huge waste of time. I'm mainly posting this to rant, but feel free to share your experiences. I'm sure there have been loads of OLD posts on here, and I doubt many have anything positive to say. I just think dating is meant to be initiated in the real world.
Frank2thepoint Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 There are online dating sites for Christians. But if you have given up on OLD, then just stick to Christian-centered events or meetups where you'll get to meet a woman in person.
RedButton Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 I've had mixed experiences. My first meeting of someone online fell very flat. I found myself with no real attraction and we didn't really click at all. The second person I met through online we hit it off right away. Went out twice in two days, but ultimately it didn't work out. After that it was a mix of falling flat and hitting it off, until I found someone who really clicked with me and I had a wonderful 6 month relationship with her. I guess I'm trying to say it really can be a mixed bag, but I've had more good experiences than bad so far. How many people have you met through online? It's difficult to gauge how much you'll like a person before you meet them face to face. Taking a break never hurts, but I wouldn't write it off altogether. 2
neowulf Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 You have to keep it in perspective. Yes, there will be many false leads. That's the downside. The upside? Viability and low effort. These days, I just view online dating as another means of meeting people. Sure, most of them you won't click with. But if you're open to just meeting people instead of "finding the one", it can be a pleasant experience. I've had a few laughs and met some cool people. 3
salparadise Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 The reason I have relied on it until now, is I'm a Christian and I only want to date like minded women. When you're 44 the prospects are few and far between at church and volunteering. I'm sure there have been loads of OLD posts on here, and I doubt many have anything positive to say. I just think dating is meant to be initiated in the real world. Heh, you should head down here to the Bible belt and give it a try. I can't tell you how many gorgeous 40-something women there are who lead with a paragraph or three that sound like they came straight out of a Baptist revival meetin'. I'm looking for women who are spiritual but not religious (not atheist, but not bible thumpers either), and it amazes me how so many are compelled to profess their devoutness to conservative Christian ideals as their primary focus. When you combine that with my preference for not having a house full of cats, moderate on the mental health spectrums, politically liberal, and don't have convulsions at the thought of a grown man who likes two-wheeled vehicles... how many are left that are at least semi-good-lookin'? The Bible belt would be a veritable playground for you, brother... I have literature on my dining room table right now that was hand delivered to my door by a very attractive, blonde haired, blue-eyed Jehovah's Witness who was, well, shall we say... exceptionally inviting. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 True...ironically you'll hardly EVER meet an unattached person at a church service. As they usually wind up dating in the secular world. Larger churches tend to have Singles Ministries, ever consider those? So I had another online date today. As usual I felt zero attraction for her in person and made a speedy escape. You just can't project the attraction you feel in person over the internet. The result is a colossal waste of time meeting women I'd never ask out if I met them in the real world. The reason I have relied on it until now, is I'm a Christian and I only want to date like minded women. When you're 44 the prospects are few and far between at church and volunteering. That being said, tonight was the last online date I will ever go on. Such a huge waste of time. I'm mainly posting this to rant, but feel free to share your experiences. I'm sure there have been loads of OLD posts on here, and I doubt many have anything positive to say. I just think dating is meant to be initiated in the real world.
LookAtThisPOst Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Lol yeah. I know this one cute single nurse. Lives locally...mmet her at a meetup, but her FB is filled thingwith copy and paste Joel Osteen and Bible quotes. I've seen the same in dating profiles. One was almost 50...never married, no kids... we got a good run on chatting about our common interests and as soon as she found out I had a Catholic background it was Soyonara!! Heh, you should head down here to the Bible belt and give it a try. I can't tell you how many gorgeous 40-something women there are who lead with a paragraph or three that sound like they came straight out of a Baptist revival meetin'. I'm looking for women who are spiritual but not religious (not atheist, but not bible thumpers either), and it amazes me how so many are compelled to profess their devoutness to conservative Christian ideals as their primary focus. When you combine that with my preference for not having a house full of cats, moderate on the mental health spectrums, politically liberal, and don't have convulsions at the thought of a grown man who likes two-wheeled vehicles... how many are left that are at least semi-good-lookin'? The Bible belt would be a veritable playground for you, brother... I have literature on my dining room table right now that was hand delivered to my door by a very attractive, blonde haired, blue-eyed Jehovah's Witness who was, well, shall we say... exceptionally inviting.
Michelle ma Belle Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 There are online dating sites for Christians. But if you have given up on OLD, then just stick to Christian-centered events or meetups where you'll get to meet a woman in person. As someone who has done Christian Mingle AND actually managed to meet a handful of men on there as a result, it's no different than any other OLD and may even be worse. People professing strongly about something they believe in always makes me nervous. I completely agree with the OP that it's next to impossible to gauge chemistry and attraction over the wacky world wide web. Physical attraction is just one small piece of the puzzle. There is so much more that goes into sincere attraction and chemistry that can't be measured by the eyes only. I've always been a fan of meeting organically. It's definitely not always easy the older we get but it's the better option for those of us looking for the whole package. Do you have friends who might be able to set you up with someone they know? Or better yet, pray that God might make your paths cross in some way. Good luck. 1
salparadise Posted April 8, 2015 Posted April 8, 2015 Or better yet, pray that God might make your paths cross in some way. Absolutely. If I was that kind of believer I'd just pray and listen for the doorbell. In fact, that Jehovah cutie was probably the answer to somebody's prayer and just had the wrong address. 2
Mirages Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Ahh, the Christian label... As one who believes, and is a bit academic about the whole God thing, I must say, that there are a lot of women & men who are disordered and cling to God from a personal need, i.e. loneliness, poverty, attention, not due to a logical conclusion, or agape love. Be careful. I avoid any who have the cliche lines about their faith. Too much acts 16:16-18 out there, look it up, you'll see what I mean. Trevzilla, what may work for you, is to question them about their faith in a candid manner, i.e. chat about election, the role of the altar thru the ages, Mediterranean history, or their thoughts on the virtues and faults of the Roman Empire. If they can be calm, non defensive, and intelligent in the response, they pass. The gems can remain pleasant and accept not knowing it all. Really important, Christian does not mean "Not broken," actually is is colloquially understood as "Admitting fault..." I do not shop for dates at church, but the greatest proportion of desireables is found in very large churches. Desireable by age bracket and freedom of mind.
SupportiveGuy Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 I like online dating. If only more women would go out with unemployed/disabled guys, I'd have found someone by now. You get to meet someone without all the hello and howdy doo, which is too overwhelming for me. All dating sites are lacking, but they're enough. I'm easygoing and easy to get along with, so when I went out with easygoing girls, I just couldn't help liking them. Women should definitely not be shown the stats bar. I agree with other posters here, find a new church, maybe explore more of the world. My church has mostly old people, only 3-4 young ladies my age. I couldn't shop for women there even if I wanted to.
Adam Black Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 Online dating is quite tough. I bounce back and forth between "my this is convenient" and "I hate this." Currently in the "I hate this" phase, so have stayed away the past few weeks. I no longer use typical websites and instead have gone the way of dating apps like Tinder and Hinge. Has not been very fruitful as of yet.
Syberia Posted April 9, 2015 Posted April 9, 2015 I've never used online dating, but one of my wife's friends does and she says it's one fake jerk after another. Probably no different in real life, but when you're 50, where else do you go?
Recommended Posts