NC123 Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 So I like this girl. Too much actually because I've never connected with someone so much and I feel like it is the same for her. We rushed one night (just making out. 3rd date). We were supposed to get high and go ice skating but instead we got high and started making out ( I feel like it's my fault because I rushed the kiss, being that it was my first kiss). This happened 4 months ago. She stopped talking to me for a while because she believed what we were getting ourselves into was wrong. Never got to talk to her about everything until 6 weeks later. Told her how I felt over text then we met in person. We talked and she said she liked me. Also told me that she has an anxiety and depression problem (don't know if it's true though but I'm doubting it for some reason). Texted me for a while afterwards then stopped talking to me. Sent her two long texts saying that I want us to work out, if she wants to talk about her anxiety/ depression problem then she should talk to me and that if she doesn't respond back I'll stop talking to her (something I regret saying). No response. Haven't seen her for 2 months about to be 3. I have been so lost ever since. I have been crying so much it's not normal. I have never cried over someone this much. I cried yesterday night. I just feel like somethings left. She was following me on Instagram for the past 2 months ( ever since we stopped talking to each other/ met in person) and I finally unfollowed her because I couldn't take it anymore( she hadn't posted anything since everything happened and I kept going on her profile to see if she did post anything) and she noticed and immediately unfollowed me (then she posted something). She also put her profile on public from private. Weird but I haven't been the same since. It's really weird that she kept following me and immediately noticed that I unfollowed her. I unfollowed her in the first place because knowing that her profiles private i wouldn't be able to see what she's up to but now that she put it on public I go back to it when I'm feeling sad. I was thinking about wishing her a happy birthday next month. Don't know what to do.
Diezel Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 So I like this girl. Too much actually because I've never connected with someone so much and I feel like it is the same for her. I have to say, it wasn't the same for her. The rest of your post contradicts the bolded. It's been two months and your only "connection" was a follow on social media? Sorry buddy, time to move on from this one.
Gloria25 Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 The fact that you're having such intense feelings (i.e. crying) over someone you barely know - who appears to have issues with her mental state - concerns me. Maybe talking to a counselor as to why/how you form such attachments to people you barely know is the issue that needs to be addressed instead of whether or not you'll hear from her again.
Author NC123 Posted April 2, 2015 Author Posted April 2, 2015 Maybe it's because I've never really had anyone to love and call my own and seeing couples everywhere makes everything 10x worse. I just feel lonely perhaps. I am already talking to a psychologist and that's why I unfollowed her in the first place, because he finally convinced me to. But it's so stupid all so stupid. And maybe it's because this was the first time I felt a connection and I swear she did too. With other women I've had an interest in there wasn't really a connection. Maybe I'm sounding too desperate i dont know. There was so much passion and love that had to do with that night and I just can't forget about it. She was my first kiss but that has nothing to do with the attachment. I find it messed up that someone tells another person that they like them and then ends up cutting communication with them and what not. What kind of bs is that? At least tell me what's up so I can move on. Now I just think of her everywhere I go. I even started writing a song about her being that I want to be an artist in the future. I just don't know.
Itspointless Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 With anxiety and depression people can push away. Not sure if that is the case here. But it undoubtedly is a situation that drives you crazy as it leads to nowhere. You have to stop yourself from checking on her. It is the only way for you to feel better again. Push trough the feelings, feel them and and try to move on. Good luck buddy.
spiderowl Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 I think it's hard to accept someone isn't interested as much, especially when you feel a real connection. It is hard to believe the other person doesn't feel the same way. Sadness and loss is an understandable reaction to something you thought was starting so well. The thing about feelings that are not reciprocated is that it does make you feel down and upset. It is then easy to come to the conclusion that you are unloved, no-one will want you, etc., because of this one experience. It's not true however. You need to remind yourself that you could meet someone special in the future that is not her. There are lovely people out there but while you are in this unhappy state you will not be open to them. It's good that you are talking to a counsellor, it might really help to get through this difficult stage. There is a guide to no contact pinned to the top of the Break ups forum (I think?) and that would help you. As long as you are aware of what she's doing, it will only be painful. Out of sight really does help. I am sorry you are feeling so sad. It is probably especially acute for you because it is your first real attachment. Relationships not working out is never easy, believe me. We rarely get explanations or closure in such situations so it's best to accept that you will never understand and then relax and leave it at that. Trying to understand becomes such an obsession sometimes.
jen1447 Posted April 3, 2015 Posted April 3, 2015 So I like this girl. Too much actually because I've never connected with someone so much and I feel like it is the same for her. We rushed one night (just making out. 3rd date). We were supposed to get high and go ice skating but instead we got high and started making out ( I feel like it's my fault because I rushed the kiss, being that it was my first kiss). This happened 4 months ago. She stopped talking to me for a while because she believed what we were getting ourselves into was wrong. Never got to talk to her about everything until 6 weeks later. Told her how I felt over text then we met in person. We talked and she said she liked me. Also told me that she has an anxiety and depression problem (don't know if it's true though but I'm doubting it for some reason). Texted me for a while afterwards then stopped talking to me. Sent her two long texts saying that I want us to work out, if she wants to talk about her anxiety/ depression problem then she should talk to me and that if she doesn't respond back I'll stop talking to her (something I regret saying). No response. Haven't seen her for 2 months about to be 3. I have been so lost ever since. I have been crying so much it's not normal. I have never cried over someone this much. I cried yesterday night. I just feel like somethings left. She was following me on Instagram for the past 2 months ( ever since we stopped talking to each other/ met in person) and I finally unfollowed her because I couldn't take it anymore( she hadn't posted anything since everything happened and I kept going on her profile to see if she did post anything) and she noticed and immediately unfollowed me (then she posted something). She also put her profile on public from private. Weird but I haven't been the same since. It's really weird that she kept following me and immediately noticed that I unfollowed her. I unfollowed her in the first place because knowing that her profiles private i wouldn't be able to see what she's up to but now that she put it on public I go back to it when I'm feeling sad. I was thinking about wishing her a happy birthday next month. Don't know what to do. Sorry, but she's shut you out. The only thing to do is leave her be - no happy birthdays, no anything. It's as much for your own dignity as hers, because if you persist in contacting her when she doesn't want it, she'll only think less and less of you. If you stop, you at least show you have some balls, which is a preferable last impression to leave. Life goes on. You'll survive.
Author NC123 Posted April 4, 2015 Author Posted April 4, 2015 I keep thinking to myself that I'm at fault! If I waited till the end of the night rather than rather then and there I feel like none of this would be happening. The other thing that's keeping me from forgetting about everything that happened is that music was playing in the background while we were making out and it happened to be my favorite artist which is The Weeknd. The song that keeps replaying with the memories is Wicked Games. I feel like you should look it up so you can get a feel of how I feel about all this but thank you
Author NC123 Posted April 4, 2015 Author Posted April 4, 2015 I think it's hard to accept someone isn't interested as much, especially when you feel a real connection. It is hard to believe the other person doesn't feel the same way. Sadness and loss is an understandable reaction to something you thought was starting so well. The thing about feelings that are not reciprocated is that it does make you feel down and upset. It is then easy to come to the conclusion that you are unloved, no-one will want you, etc., because of this one experience. It's not true however. You need to remind yourself that you could meet someone special in the future that is not her. There are lovely people out there but while you are in this unhappy state you will not be open to them. It's good that you are talking to a counsellor, it might really help to get through this difficult stage. There is a guide to no contact pinned to the top of the Break ups forum (I think?) and that would help you. As long as you are aware of what she's doing, it will only be painful. Out of sight really does help. I am sorry you are feeling so sad. It is probably especially acute for you because it is your first real attachment. Relationships not working out is never easy, believe me. We rarely get explanations or closure in such situations so it's best to accept that you will never understand and then relax and leave it at that. Trying to understand becomes such an obsession sometimes. I keep thinking to myself that I'm at fault! If I waited till the end of the night rather than rather then and there I feel like none of this would be happening. The other thing that's keeping me from forgetting about everything that happened is that music was playing in the background while we were making out and it happened to be my favorite artist which is The Weeknd. The song that keeps replaying with the memories is Wicked Games. I feel like you should look it up so you can get a feel of how I feel about all this but thank you
Author NC123 Posted April 4, 2015 Author Posted April 4, 2015 The fact that you're having such intense feelings (i.e. crying) over someone you barely know - who appears to have issues with her mental state - concerns me. Maybe talking to a counselor as to why/how you form such attachments to people you barely know is the issue that needs to be addressed instead of whether or not you'll hear from her again. Maybe it's because I've never really had anyone to love and call my own and seeing couples everywhere makes everything 10x worse. I just feel lonely perhaps. I am already talking to a psychologist and that's why I unfollowed her in the first place, because he finally convinced me to. But it's so stupid all so stupid. And maybe it's because this was the first time I felt a connection and I swear she did too. With other women I've had an interest in there wasn't really a connection. Maybe I'm sounding too desperate i dont know. There was so much passion and love that had to do with that night and I just can't forget about it. She was my first kiss but that has nothing to do with the attachment. I find it messed up that someone tells another person that they like them and then ends up cutting communication with them and what not. What kind of bs is that? At least tell me what's up so I can move on. Now I just think of her everywhere I go. I even started writing a song about her being that I want to be an artist in the future. I just don't know.
Author NC123 Posted April 4, 2015 Author Posted April 4, 2015 With anxiety and depression people can push away. Not sure if that is the case here. But it undoubtedly is a situation that drives you crazy as it leads to nowhere. You have to stop yourself from checking on her. It is the only way for you to feel better again. Push trough the feelings, feel them and and try to move on. Good luck buddy. What's the point of telling someone you like them and then leaving?
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