sutsie Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 BACKGROUND: Met this girl 3 years ago and started dating in march of 2012. I was her first as in regards to sex, she was my first kiss, relationship, and you get the rest of it. Close to families. Always talked about forever and went on a vacation together to the beach. Never any huge problems, but did have some arguments over petty bs. She is now 20 and I'm 21. About half of our relationship was long distance (she lives 1.5 hours away for school). 2 weeks before her roommate broke up with her boyfriend of 5 years for no reason other than wanting to not be stressed by the relationship. Break-up story: So starting on February 27th we had a small argument about something stupid over text, the next day was the one year anniversary of my father's passing and her grandmother was in the hospital for kidney failure. I went to visit her grandmother for 30 mins and she was ecstatic to see me. I called my gf after the visit and she got mad at me for saying i was surprised she wasn't on dialysis. She then hangs up the phone and texts me "I can't handle this anymore, thanks for the memories." The following day I was at work and called the hospital to check on her grandma, the dumb nurse transferred me to her room directly and so after a quick 10 second phone call asking how she was we hung up. A few hours later I got a text saying "Why would you call my grandma in the hospital, really???" I told her I only wanted her status but the nurse misunderstood. She then goes on to say "That's so creepy and uncalled for, never contact my family again." Two days later she calls me to tell me she's coming home, I say i love her and to keep me updated. She texts me two hours later saying she's on life support and i text her back while i'm at work that if she wants my company or anything at all to not hesitate to ask. Later that night she sends me a text saying that I should've shown more compassion and been blowing up her phone begging to be at the hospital with her. (The roads were iced over and closed this night so I couldn't get there anyway.) She goes on to say that she'll be entering this next chapter without me and with the comfort of her friends and family and I will never be apart of her life again. I was very heartbroken but not long after her grandmother passed and I called her and we both cried on the phone together about it and the following day i brought food over with my mom and talked to her family, she didn't make eye contact with me and gave me a one armed pat on the back like i was a complete stranger. The following day at visitation i got the same treatment. Which hurt of course. So I continue to tell her how much i'm thinking about her and want to be with her through everything and she texts me 3 days later saying that she doesn't want to talk about us right now. She loves me and everything but can't focus on a relationship. She also said I have no idea what she's going through because i've never lost anybody as close to me as she was to her grandma (i lost my father a year ago.). So then 3 days later she texts me on friday the 13th saying that if we meet again in our futures then great but she can't do a relationship because she needs to work on herself. (She broke up wtih me over text message and we didn't once talk on the phone or in person about the situation.) She goes back to school and her mom accompanies her for a week. I write a love letter in cursive and all that good stuff with symbols drawn on it meaning reconciliation and everlasting love and healing over a distance with a coded message by spelling out underlined letters saying "I want you back in my arms forever, the door is always open". I text her a week later on what would've been our 3 year saying i missed her and wish i was with her today and she responds by telling me she's letting go and i should do the same. I find out later that night she's texting a highschool friend (that's a guy) I go ask that he stops responding to her and he blocks her and then she gets mad at me saying i shouldn't be telling people about our past or sharing anything, even though she was saying i was controlling, needy, and just can't stand me anymore but loves and cares about me. I didn't dignify her statement with a response, she can decide what happened that night. We've since then been in no contact for almost 2 weeks. since then she's been blocking me on twitter and unblocking me usually every other day. She's also back at school. Will she come back around? I'm moving on due to the fact i have no option and am coping very well with exercise and driving listening to music (a little too much booze to fall asleep though). Should i break no contact or what should i do? I don't think theres anybody else she's dating or anything like that. I feel very hurt that she did all this by sending just a text message and didn't even have the balls to say it over the phone or in person. She is very immature for her age and also isn't good about admitting when she's wrong or taking responsibility for her words or actions. Obviously i can't give all the details but this is basically the gist of it all. I love her and always wanted a forever with her and a part of me still does but the thing is that i don't want to open myself up to more pain from finding out she's had sex with some other guy or something like that. Idk i'm just kinda lost and could use some experiences from everyone to give me an idea of what to expect or what i can do in this situation. Thank you to everyone who has some input.
Ruby65 Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 Can you add some more paragraphs here? It's hard to read.
Chi townD Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 Dude, she was looking for ANY excuse to end it with you and she took the cowards way out and did it through text?!?! I mean, you visited her grandmother in the hospital and you did a follow up phonecall to check on her. And she had the gall to say that you didn't do enough? Dude, you went above and beyond what a dude that's just dating a girl should do. Dude, you need to forget her and move on. Heal and move on.
Author sutsie Posted March 31, 2015 Author Posted March 31, 2015 (edited) That's how i felt. I felt as though i did everything i could and got pushed away every step of the way and just said **** it and gave her and her family their space and privacy. I appreciate the support and that's what i'm doing. I question my decision to even take the time to write her a letter. I wish i was lieing about this whole deal just making myself look better but this is literally the exact story. Edited March 31, 2015 by sutsie
Author sutsie Posted April 1, 2015 Author Posted April 1, 2015 well i think after seeing how she's handled the situation by first off pushing me away during a time of crisis, then throwing it in my face, then breaking up a 3 year relationship by sending a text message, then talking badly about me to random guys she tried hooking up with in highschool, then blocking me and unblocking me on twitter everyday and favoriting tweets like "quit talking **** about me" after i got her texting other guys badly about me the day of the break up that i've finally realized that someone as ambitious and self driven as me doesn't need a girl that's way below his league in his life let alone should even settle for some piece of trash like her. I threw away my athletic dreams for a girl just because she was my "first love" and to be honest i always hold the years that i was single moving away from home to pursue my personal goals as the best years of my life. The only times she was apart of this was the final 5 months of it when i eventually quit because i was a lovesick puppy and wasn't willing to persevere. It hurts to know how much i threw away on somebody that to be quite frank isn't even in my league. It hurts to know that someone i thought so highly of could act in such an immature, classless, and disrespectful way. It hurts how much heart, time, and money i put into somebody that has disappointed me time and time again. But please remember the name sutsie. please remember me posting this story and sharing my heartbreak with everybody. I cried, i drank, i sobbed, i had to hold friends i put off for 3 years and cry because of some stupid girl that i held deeply for 3 years based upon a stupid idea i had in my head instead of recognizing the warning signs at the beginning. I have learned so much about this experience and truly believe that the ambition i had when i was younger will know return because of this heartbreak. I believe i will be better than ever. I want everyone out there to know that no matter what path in life whether that's losing a relative, losing your dreams, or losing only who you thought would be the love of your life will not matter because you are great. I have finally seen this in myself and i believe that no matter who you are, you will see this in yourself, but you have to believe something better can happen for you. This world and life are based on your own interpretation of what happens around you. Please be strong. Please be courageous. Please believe above everything and everyone less than you believe in yourself. Don't settle for someone who isn't the same way. Don't settle for someone who doesn't respect themselves and you the same way you believe someone should respect themselves and you. Everybody in this world has what it takes to be great. Everyone has what it takes to find someone that believes in them. But you will only find someone that believes in you as much as you believe in yourself. Be the absolute best you can be every single day. Be as loving as possible towards others, believe in them, hold them to high standards. But only do so if you hold yourself to the highest standards. If you do this, you will find greatness, you will find happiness, you will be the person you have always dreamed of. Even if that person is not president of the united states, even if that person isn't a professional athlete, even if that person isn't your wildest dream you could think of. Not everybody is Brad Pitt, Not everyone is Hope Solo, and i'm not saying you can't be that person. I'm saying find a career and find a person that makes you feel like that person and makes you believe that you're great and makes you happy. It hurts more than anything to find myself at a point where I've lost my dream, my father, and who i thought was the love of my life. But i will fight, I will grind, I will do whatever it takes to crawl inch by inch out of this hell I've finally found myself in. I'm grateful for the opportunity to see this hell, I'm grateful for the opportunity to see my lowest point, I'm grateful for another day to fight and crawl out of this hell. I want to thank you everybody that's reading this and hope that it shows you that even someone as low as me and even people lower than me because believe me, A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE IT WORSE, that you can fight, even if that means crawling. Even if that means having to get in the best shape possible, even if that means having to wake up everyday crying and having to fall asleep only to face nightmares and terrors every night that there is someone out there with you and that's thinking of you that you've never met, that is doing it with you right by your side. I'm thinking of you even though you don't know me and i'm thinking of you without even knowing your name, seeing you face, or saying a single word to you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Thank you for even just the one comment of support. People do care about you. You don't have to settle. You don't have to give up. You only have to fight and believe in yourself to get through all of your struggles. To whoever you are out there, I believe in you. Keep fighting. Keep persevering. I am always available. My name is sutsie and I will fight not only for myself, but for anybody struggling out there. You can be great and you will be great. And if you quit looking and quit thinking about it, you'll find the person meant to not hold you back or take up space in your heart, but the person who will support your greatness and grow your heart.
Ruby65 Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 Dude -- so you post another unreadable wall of text? Please..... paragraphs are your friend!
Ruby65 Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 Why not simply use paragraphs so your posts are easier to read?
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