codeorange Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 I went on a first date on Saturday with this very nice girl, and it was definitely the most successful first one I've had yet. We basically spent the entire night staring, smiling and laughing at each other out of mutual attraction. It ended with her inviting me to stay the night at her place, and then changing her mind on the way to the car. We talked a little about what we were looking for during the night, and it was a relationship, so I'm kind of glad she opted against that so soon, even though she insisted there would be no sex. We parted with a very passionate kiss instead. I'm planning to ask her out again now, but I'm busy Friday night with a family thing, and on Saturday potentially as well, though I could probably generate an excuse to skip out on that because Saturday is more optional. Sunday night seems to work best for me, but I'm worried about disappointing her if it turns out she's aiming for another sleepover of some sort, since it's a weeknight. From your experience, how much does that factor into the equation? Should I try and skip out on this family thing in order to schedule another Saturday date, in order to keep the momentum going? Or will a Sunday potentially work just as well?
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 No. Never skip your plans for a girl, if she's right for you, she'll work around your schedule. Don't be too needy/available, it's a turn off for women. 3
fitnessfan365 Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 (edited) No. Never skip your plans for a girl, if she's right for you, she'll work around your schedule. Don't be too needy/available, it's a turn off for women. GREAT ADVICE. One trick I'd always use in the past is rejecting a woman's first date offer. You ask when she's free, and then let her know that her choice conflicts with plans you already made. When a woman sees you as harder to get, it makes you more attractive. Plus, if a woman likes you, she makes time for you. My GF has a crappy work schedule. Up at 5am, two hr commute to work by train to start @ 8am, and doesn't get home until at least 6:30. So she'd bring up getting together on the weekend when I first met her. However, the weekends are time for me. Since I didn't know her yet, I'd counter with week nights. Now that I know what a great woman she is, I feel like a major dick because I'm not done training clients usually until 8pm. So she agreed to see me @ 9pm for dates even though it made her go to work on 4-5 hrs sleep. Since she has proven herself, I not only see her on the weekend, but I also adjusted a few week nights to end @ 6pm. That way I can see her earlier and she gets more sleep. But in the beginning, it's better to make a woman work around your schedule. On a subconscious level, women get turned off if a man is too available or overly eager to spend time with them. Edited March 31, 2015 by fitnessfan365
PegNosePete Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 Don't do any stupid tricks or lies. Just do what you want to do. If you want to see her on Sunday then ask her out on Sunday. I very much doubt she'll reject you because you asked her out on a sunday not a saturday. And if she does she's obviously not that into you. 2
Vintage79 Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 Changing your plans for someone you've only met once is ridiculous...keep your plans. Sunday should be fine - and if you're concerned about how she'll perceive a Sunday night date versus Friday/Saturday, just mention that you already have plans - if she is honestly thinking that you should rearrange your schedule for her after 1 date - run! If the girl is really interested and she really wants to spend the night together, I don't think that a Sunday should be a problem...yeah, a weeknight may not ideal for a first night together - but I did that with the girl I'm currently dating, and there were no issues.
Gary S Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 You don't have to worry about having sex soon. In fact, it's better if you wait. You will not loose momentum.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 I won't aim for sex until the 3rd date or later. 1
wb1988 Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 She probably changed her mind about you coming over because she realized that her place is a mess/ you might end up having sex/ she's on her period/ she forgot to shave/ she didn't want to come off as a sex on the 1st date kinda girl. Either that or you said something in between but hopefully that's not it. Keep yourself busy. Women, even the ones that say that want a guy that will drop everything for them (sometimes it's the ones that want a man that owns his own business) will always prefer a guy that is busy and has other things going on. All the other posts are 100% correct.
angel.eyes Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 Call her up and tell her how much you enjoyed your last date. Ask her out again. If she says yes, I would say something like, "I'm doing XYZ and ABC with my family on Friday and Saturday. How about DEF on Sunday?" As long as some dates are on Fridays and Saturdays, you should be fine. Personally, I lose interest if the guy seems less than enthused about me or might be playing games.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 She probably changed her mind about you coming over because she realized that her place is a mess/ you might end up having sex/ she's on her period/ she forgot to shave/ she didn't want to come off as a sex on the 1st date kinda girl. Either that or you said something in between but hopefully that's not it. Keep yourself busy. Women, even the ones that say that want a guy that will drop everything for them (sometimes it's the ones that want a man that owns his own business) will always prefer a guy that is busy and has other things going on. All the other posts are 100% correct. Good points made.. Also OP even though she said there wouldn't be SEX, that is usually a lie most girls will make (anti-slut defense). Once you're at her place and you're making out/clothes coming off, that goes right out the window. Of course if she says no at the time of the act, that means no
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