bamawsp Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 She is not contesting the divorce and that I had won. I'm somewhat skeptical that this is a ploy by her and her AP. Thoughts?
No Limit Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 Do not comment on that in any way. You'll see how much truth is behind that text as the divorce proceeds further. It could be a ploy but since you wrote weeks ago now how she was in a deep mental pit spending all of her time drinking and letting herself be reassured by AP that she's not doing anything wrong it might very well be possible that she just "doesn't care" anymore and just wants to move in with AP as soon as possible to be "happy ever after"... Hopefully this state of mind stays until the divorce is done, less drama this way. 4
Author bamawsp Posted March 30, 2015 Author Posted March 30, 2015 I've got a call into my attorney contact to gauge his advice. If I don't receive a response within the 30 day window upon filing what happens next?
Arieswoman Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 bamawsp, Please do not respond to any texts from your STBexW. but save them for future reference. All communication should be via your solicitor/lawyer. If I don't receive a response within the 30 day window upon filing what happens next? I am in UK so I can't answer your question. You need to speak to your legal advisor about this. Please take his/her advice - this is what you are paying for. I am sorry you are in this position. Good luck. 4
Mr. Lucky Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 You need to speak to your legal advisor about this. Please take his/her advice - this is what you are paying for. I am sorry you are in this position. Good luck. Agreed. Rather than listen to the jailhouse lawyers here (me included ) and considering the laws vary from state to state, let all to/from communication go through your attorney. They'll use it to build and support your case... Mr. Lucky
Author bamawsp Posted March 30, 2015 Author Posted March 30, 2015 I'm in the lobby of my attorney as I type. I was just curious if anyone had any experience.
Author bamawsp Posted March 30, 2015 Author Posted March 30, 2015 (edited) According to her attorney via my counsel, she is in the process of securing a retainer. He told me to continue to document and maintain status quo. My attorney went on to say if she doesn't respond it may not necessarily be a good thing, because we would file a motion for default and she could show up in court with an attorney and drag this thing out. He said a retainer and a response would be a good thing because it would expedite the process. Edited March 30, 2015 by bamawsp misspell
whichwayisup Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 You have proof of her affair, yes? Then file and let her try to drag it out in court. She will lose. Speak through your lawyer, keep her texts/emails and whatever you do, no matter what she says to you (ignore her calls if she does call) do not react. Always let your lawyer do the talking.
Author bamawsp Posted March 31, 2015 Author Posted March 31, 2015 I filed and she was served 10 days ago.
PegNosePete Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 (edited) All communication should be via your solicitor/lawyer. This is actually pretty bad advice. It is a one-way street to a HUGE legal bill. When I was divorcing, my ex's car tax (£25 - small car) ran out, and the car was still registered to me so the reminder came to my address in my name. I told her to send me the money and I would do it for her. She said not to contact her, and to go through her solicitor instead. So I did. That £25 car tax must have cost her £500 or more in solicitors letters. If she'd spoken to me direct it would've cost her £25 plus a stamp. Another story I heard, the wife insisted on every single expenditure from a joint account being passed on to her solicitor. So the husband e-mailed her solicitor every time he bought a can of coke or a chocolate bar. Imagine how much that cost her in solicitors fees. So yes, you should definitely pass important and relevant information on to your lawyer. But insisting that all communication goes through them, is often a pretty bad idea. There's absolutely no reason to ask a lawyer what to do about a text message such as this. It's just a waste of fees. But yes, what to do if she doesn't return the forms, that is something your lawyer should be asked (after the 30 days has passed - no sense asking hypotheticals). Edited March 31, 2015 by PegNosePete
DivorcedDad123 Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 Actions,not words...or texts in this case. You are enemy number 1! Lies,distortion,gaslighting,manipulation are all to be expected at this point.
jakrbbt Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 You have proof of her affair, yes? Then file and let her try to drag it out in court. She will lose. Speak through your lawyer, keep her texts/emails and whatever you do, no matter what she says to you (ignore her calls if she does call) do not react. Always let your lawyer do the talking. Forgive me if I'm missing something, but do we have any concrete reason to believe an affair will matter at all, in court, in a divorce case? In the united states, I've never heard of affairs making a legal difference. We have no-fault divorce. Of course, sometimes the non-cheating spouse can be made to appear angry and bitter over the other one's affair, and can be made to look like the non-cheater's actions are unreasonable and their motives are anger. But even that isn't going to be a central issue, rigtht? Ask your lawyer whether her affair matters legally. Her texts just sounds emotional to me. Like an outcry.
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