missy6002 Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 I've been with my boyfriend on and off for 3 years a few months ago I had found old craigslist ads for sex, for girls and black women(which he says he thinks are gross, not in a racist way. It's just not his cup of tea.) So you can imagine how much of a mind f**k this was to me. It was way back to before we were even together all the way from his ex and stopped the year before I caught it. Well yesterday I logged into his older email... thought I'd find more... but this time there were m4m ads.. like 6 the rest were women. And only one sent him pictures. He claims he never acted on it. These emails are from a year ago and stopped but I need to know. But I don't know what to do. does this mean he's gay? Does he not love me? Someone please help.. I'm completely broken.
GorillaTheater Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 I can't say whether he's gay or not. Maybe he was just exploring some sexual interests, and maybe there's more to it than that. Your bigger problem is that he was doing this exploration, with both men and women, while in a relationship with you. At a minimum, he was putting out feelers and disrespecting your relationship, which you should not be okay with. At worst, it was far more than merely gauging interest. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 Sorry...just so I understand... When you found the m4m ads, were those recent or still from the batch you found over a year ago?
Author missy6002 Posted March 30, 2015 Author Posted March 30, 2015 It was from the old batch. From a year ago. And Im not okay with it at all. He said he stopped which I know bc there was nothing past that year mark but it still hurts and even though I found this and its the same time era. It feels like new news to me all over again .
Author missy6002 Posted March 30, 2015 Author Posted March 30, 2015 He has many black friends. And no he's said it like all the time before I caught him. When I caught it. He just said he was being stupid and didn't care before. He just wanted to get laid I guess. By anyone I guess.. that's my view on it. It's just sickening that he did the whole thing black women or not. Guy or not. That fact of being on there to do that.. is just a complete set back for me. It was necessary bc it was something unusual. So that's the first thing that took me back. Then now the m4m took me back.
littlesister1234 Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 Just my opinion, but your boyfriend does not sound gay to me. He just sounds bored and spends too much time online. I get your frustration though. I would be pissed if this were me.
Author missy6002 Posted March 30, 2015 Author Posted March 30, 2015 Yeah a few people said the same. I'm just completely mind f**ked from it all. but thank you for your input, everyone's input it's helping me figure some things out.
anika99 Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 He has many black friends. And no he's said it like all the time before I caught him. When I caught it. He just said he was being stupid and didn't care before. He just wanted to get laid I guess. By anyone I guess.. that's my view on it. It's just sickening that he did the whole thing black women or not. Guy or not. That fact of being on there to do that.. is just a complete set back for me. It was necessary bc it was something unusual. So that's the first thing that took me back. Then now the m4m took me back. So if you thought fat men were gross and you wanted to get laid would you go on the internet and deliberately search for fat men who gross you out? That is a crock of BS. Your bf is obviously sexually curious about black women.
Author missy6002 Posted March 30, 2015 Author Posted March 30, 2015 So if you thought fat men were gross and you wanted to get laid would you go on the internet and deliberately search for fat men who gross you out? That is a crock of BS. Your bf is obviously sexually curious about black women. I know that. If you guys read what I wrote. It took me back... wasn't expecting it. So my question is, "is he gay". And he didn't search that he just searched Meet ups there was only 3 black women ads out of 20.
Author missy6002 Posted March 30, 2015 Author Posted March 30, 2015 I'm trying to be considerate understand if he wants this or not. I'm not anti gay or bi or anything but he's giving me nothing to work with.
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 I don't know but if it were ME, although the thought of my boyfriend of 3 years enjoying sex with other men might freak me out I think the fact that he's on Craigslist soliciting for all kinds of sex is even more alarming. Just my two cents. 4
Elias33 Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 He allows you to go through his e-mail? If not, wouldn't that be the first problems you have in your relationship? If all this "exploring" has occurred before he was in a relationship with you, I say, it is personal, and up to him to decide what you know and don't know about his past. Fair or unfair, it is how it works. You are better off just asking and go by what your gut tells you.
awkward Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 I don't know if he is gay. He could be bi. He could be curious. He could be a sex addict. How do you know he has stopped?
Author missy6002 Posted March 30, 2015 Author Posted March 30, 2015 I don't know if he is gay. He could be bi. He could be curious. He could be a sex addict. How do you know he has stopped? When I first caught him months ago that last email there was from a year before so I knew it stopped. And the email I checked yesterday was the same time period. He says it was drugs I think he's too embarrassed to admit that he was desperate to get laid. He said I'm reading too much into it theres nothing more to it than he was being stupid he doesn't wanna do anything with a dude. But like why would you respond then
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