Alan_17 Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 (edited) After we had split up we met at her house a 2 weeks later, she was on my shoulders cry and telling me how much she missed me, i asked her if she has met anyone she swore and say no but same time telling me that she doesnt want me to come anymore........ she was making me ever so confused i started thinking that she is just confused and needs to time alone.... then finally i decided to go 4 days later to her house...... i found out that a guy was there with his 2 year old kid from her work place. i knocked on the door she said blah blah blah blah....... i went back to my car and relaxed for a good hour to gather my thoughts together. right after the hour she comes out with the guy i couldnt hold my self so i confronted them and said all those fake tears liers was all just ur game. went back with the mentality to disconnect, she ended up blocking me on all sort of electronic communication. my conclusion is this i read articles about NC and understanding how the mind of a female works. they are all a waste of time. she looked me straight in the eyes and assured me she did not have a sexual relationship and has not been with anyone. complete utter lies. she kept me sweet just as a backup then if that guy does not work out she has poor old alan to come back to. but she didnt expect that i would of figured it out Edited March 30, 2015 by Alan_17
d0nnivain Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 I'm sorry this was so painful for you. Be proud of yourself for having the presence of mind to calm yourself down before driving. I'm not convinced that this guy's presence at your EX's house with his 2 year old means they are sleeping together but the fact that he was there should give you some closure & the impetus to move forward in your own life. 1
Author Alan_17 Posted March 30, 2015 Author Posted March 30, 2015 well i confronted them both and the guy just kept yapping, and just talking to much, i told him to **** it was between me and my ex how she looked and me and lied so many times and there i see her with another guy. she then threatened to call the police....... she decides to block me on all communication
FancyFace Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 Your understanding of those articles about NC are off my friend. Read them again. The purpose is to find some closure and healing within yourself and begin the very real hard process of recovering from a breakup. For example, had you mainatined NC instead of showing up at her house, you would be none the wiser about her cheating and started the process of healing instead of pandering to her and either ignorance would have been bliss with you moving on or by the time you found out about her cheating, you would have been in a better mental state to absorb such information. Don't be her backup any longer, don't try figure out what she is doing or thinking, go NC for real and focus solely on yourself and your progress. Good luck OP! 1
Author Alan_17 Posted March 30, 2015 Author Posted March 30, 2015 fancyface if i sat home and did no contact, i would have never found out what she was doing, and in time she would of return and look at me again and lie to me that she missed me and needs me, me finding out has closed the door solid on the case and leave no room for return. i just cant get over the fact that someone can look and lie with no emotion. she kept calling me a lier irony is she pinpointed what she is on me 1
d0nnivain Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 . she then threatened to call the police....... she decides to block me on all communication Since it disintegrated to that point, just stay away from her. You don't need a legal case on top of a broken heart. 1
Author Alan_17 Posted March 30, 2015 Author Posted March 30, 2015 strange this is i miss her as hell but just annoyed she blocked me on all angles. she unfriended me on facebook so i blocked her, its all about games games and im tried man 1
Author Alan_17 Posted March 30, 2015 Author Posted March 30, 2015 i supose when she seen that i finnaly found out i wonder what she feels and that forced her to then block me from her life..... 1
Stercrazy Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 Hopefully confronting her helps you move on. But I have to ask........what did it prove? She lied after you guys broke up? And......... See.....the fact that she doesn't want to be with you anymore is all the info. you need. It doesn't matter if she's with someone else....what she's doing....ect. The relationship is over. Heal.......and then seek a better relationship. You deserve better....that's what you found out. But didn't you think that anyway? 2
Author Alan_17 Posted March 30, 2015 Author Posted March 30, 2015 we all know that our minds can lead us to paranoia, seeing something only confirms that you are not a nut job. but i have to ask by her unfriending me and blocking me on phone communication and me blocking her on facebook once she unfriended me what psychological effect does that have,
Satu Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 fancyface *if i sat home and did no contact, i would have never found out what she was doing, and in time she would of return and look at me again and lie to me that she missed me and needs me, me finding out has closed the door solid on the case and leave no room for return. i just cant get over the fact that someone can look and lie with no emotion. she kept calling me a lier irony is she pinpointed what she is on me NC is to give you a clear space to heal in, and no chance for the ex to hurt you again. *No direct contact in either direction. No sending, no receiving, no replies. All means of contacting you blocked. *No indirect contact via third parties. *Delete, unfriend, and block from all social media. No monitoring of the ex's social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. Perfect.
Satu Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 any responses By blocking you she did you a favour. Knowing who she is associating with and what she is doing, doesn't help you one bit.
d0nnivain Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 . but i have to ask by her unfriending me and blocking me on phone communication and me blocking her on facebook once she unfriended me what psychological effect does that have, It's part of NC. Sometimes the dumpers do this because they know that the dumpees aren't strong enough. The dumper doesn't want you to continue to hurt. The more callous explanation is that she simply wants you all the way out of every part of her life, including social media. In the long run it will have the effect of helping you because you won't be able to see the pictures of her new relationship. 1
elaine567 Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 She dumped you, 2 weeks later she was probably upset, she misses you, but she felt it was the right thing to do, she told you not to come around any more. She was completely done with you. BUT You end up at her house ~3 weeks after the split, a guy from her work and his son is there, you don't know if the are sleeping together but you assume they are and make a huge scene. She threatens to call the police. She then blocks all communication with you. Do you blame her? You had no right to muscle into her space and accuse her of anything, 3 weeks after you split. SHE DUMPED YOU, she even told you not to come around anymore. It is none of your business who she sees, hangs out with or sleeps with. Leave her alone 1
Chi townD Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 fancyface if i sat home and did no contact, i would have never found out what she was doing, and in time she would of return and look at me again and lie to me that she missed me and needs me, me finding out has closed the door solid on the case and leave no room for return. i just cant get over the fact that someone can look and lie with no emotion. she kept calling me a lier irony is she pinpointed what she is on me Really?!?! Dude, you already knew. Your gut was telling you that something wasn't right and that something was off. It felt off enough to ask her to her face about another dude. It made you go back 4 days later unannounced to learn something. Your gut told you to do that. So, you already knew. But, what's done is done. Time to go NC and move on. No more closure needed.
Author Alan_17 Posted April 2, 2015 Author Posted April 2, 2015 funny aint it you guys say when a woman say she dont want to see you its just ok and u listen to her.............. u see if i didnt go round 4 days later and see her with the guy she would of always said she was single and just needed time to her self. in a month of so she would of contact me and say oh im so sorry blah blah and i would of never found out about the guy......sorry guys but i refuse to sleep in my shoes atleast now i know how to play my cards. and yes i feel destroyed
Author Alan_17 Posted April 2, 2015 Author Posted April 2, 2015 does anyone believe in horoscopes i was just wondering how does a Virgo woman feel when being caught>?
Chi townD Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 Yeah, I don't think Venus being lined up with Jupiter is going to change the way a girl feels about being caught.
Author Alan_17 Posted April 2, 2015 Author Posted April 2, 2015 lets face it if she gave a **** about me none of this would of even happen right? the only time she will contact me is when she is lonely and all her plans have failed.
Chi townD Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 And that's when you have to be strong. You need to ignore anything she sends your way. Ignore all texts and let all phonecalls go to voicemail. Curiosity is going to be hard to ignore. But, she CAN'T come back if you don't let her back! Fundamentally, it's that simple. If all she's running into with you is a brickwall, she's going to turn around and go the other direction.
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