Omei Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 (edited) I agree that you have every right to your own dating preferences, but you have these ideas in your head about weed smokers that are stereotypical and inaccurate. I understand that you have been shaped by your personal experiences, but open your mind a little. Just like some people overdo drinking, you will have some potheads that overdo weed. However, you probably would not assume that a person who has a few drinks at happy hour will turn into a raging alcoholic. In the same light, I ask that you not assume that someone who smokes recreationally is a dumb zombie who neglects their kids. This was really well said Quiet Storm sometimes I too feel stereotyped because I smoke pot but im just like everyone else you wouldn't know I did unless you asked. Edited March 31, 2015 by Omei 1
sweetjasmine Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 well I guess it depends where you live but here smoking pot is more comparable to drinking beer than meth or heroin. Not to mention, meth and heroin are in no way comparable to pot. Both meth and heroin are extremely addictive and cause a lot of physical damage. Low to moderate pot use actually has some health benefits, much like a glass of red wine once a day. You really can't compare pot to harder drugs.
Buddhist Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 (edited) No this would be a dealbreaker in a partner for me. It's a well known precipitator for mental instability in susceptible individuals. I wouldn't like my partner to smoke it for the same reasons that I also don't date people who smoke tobacco, do recreational drugs or drink alcohol more than occassionally. I don't like dealing with drunks and I also would intensely dislike witnessing my partner high. Clarity of mind is high on my list of must haves, and when I say clarity of mind I'm not talking transcendental drug induced experiences. I'm talking being fully cognisant in the present moment. Edited March 31, 2015 by Buddhist 1
Timshel Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 My ex-hubs was a pot smoker. I felt really blindsided because we didn't live together before we were married. I thought he did it occasionally but learned that it was a daily thing after we tied the knot. I don't advocate living together before marriage but in this circumstance, I wish I had known more of his habits. We had sleepovers but looking back, he was trying really hard. He must have been jonesing quite a bit.
Woggle Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 I would rather be with an occasional toker than a drunk or a pill popper. People who are addicted to pills are the really unstable ones in my experience.
Standard-Fare Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 Haven't read all the responses here. But OP I think your main concern should be: What does "a few times a week" really mean? If you start paying more attention, you might discover that "a few times a week" means "every day of the week," and not only that but multiple times a day. In which case you're dealing with an addiction. But even something like 5 times a week - and truly keeping to that - could be cause for concern, if it's something she HAS to do. Addiction isn't fun, and it's a valid reason to question a relationship. But if you can determine that your girl is truly a casual smoker for recreational purposes, then try not to judge her.
blackcat777 Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 It really depends on the person. My man is at the top of his class going into the medical field, has an awesome job, has a stellar work ethic, and never treats loved ones badly. He smokes a lot of pot on the weekends. My ex also smoked a lot of pot. He always had a reason to never go to work, to never contribute to housework, and generally treated everyone around him like garbage. It's the same thing as, "Guns don't kill, people kill." Fortunately, pot doesn't kill or cause serious physical damage in the same way as a lot of hard drugs it's compared to (meth, crack, etc.), but in the hands of an intentionless, irresponsible, or escapist person, it will definitely take a toll on relationships. Drink responsibly! Smoke responsibly! Be responsible for yourself and your well-being! If someone can't take responsibility for themselves, they're going to be a problem in a relationship... pot or no. 1
TaxAHCruel Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 Well if she only did once a month or week why does she need it? Thats exactly the thing I am questioning. Why make it about "need"? When I have some wine I do not "need" it. When I go to the movies I do not "need" it. It is a recreational drug - and people do it on occasion for recreational reasons. It has nothing to do with "need". I know way more about drug addiction and about addiction than most people . Have you ever seen someone OD on heroin I have . Then you will probably find me not to be "most people"
Krieger Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 Thats exactly the thing I am questioning. Why make it about "need"? When I have some wine I do not "need" it. When I go to the movies I do not "need" it. It is a recreational drug - and people do it on occasion for recreational reasons. It has nothing to do with "need". Then you will probably find me not to be "most people" Well for me I have too much to lose . Also way to busy to be playing with a drug that does not do anything for me . on top of that once I get college done my career means to much to me to get fired for smoking pot. Not to mention the atudent loans I will have to pay back. I have to on the top of my game everyday it is a matter of life or death if I am not. Of the 100 plus people I know that smoke pot all of them smoke every day or dam near everyday. That being said I have to play the odds when people tell me they smoke pot that is not an every once in a while. I just don't have time for a drug that does noting for me. I got so much going on I only get 4-5 hours of sleep a night.LOL Plus I have something way better than pot that I take it is percribed from a Dr.
Krieger Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 Of course there's more fear and less acceptance. In some parts of this country, getting caught with pot can ruin your life. It doesn't matter how much I disagree with employers firing people for drug use on their own time. Saying "that's not fair" isn't going to save someone's job or keep them out of trouble with the law. In some industries, it can kill your entire career. As it should be I mean if your an ER Dr I sure the hospital would juat frown if you went to work stoned like a biblical whore.
TaxAHCruel Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 I have to on the top of my game everyday it is a matter of life or death if I am not. Then we are going in circles now As I already agreed context and background is everything. There are clearly some people in areas - careers - or other things who should be staying away from drugs for obvious reasons such as what you list. But those people who do not have that issue - periodic or rare usage is a recreational choice - like any other - and it is not about "needing" it. Of the 100 plus people I know that smoke pot all of them smoke every day or dam near everyday. Yea that is likely self selecting. As the people who do not do it often - you probably simply have not noticed or been told. I occasionally drink wine. Very occasionally. Do not recall ever informing anyone of this.
road Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 I would rather be with an occasional toker than a drunk or a pill popper. People who are addicted to pills are the really unstable ones in my experience. that's saying you rather be in the frying pan instead of the fire.
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