Ifonlyihadknown Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 I broke up with my ex a few days ago. This isn,t the first time I have been in this situation, I used to post on here about a break up 7 years ago with my ex wife. I found posting here helped a lot in a way, mainly because there was so many others going through the same thing. It felt like a support network in a way and any advice was great fully received, whether it was positive or negative towards myself. And for myself the very fact peeps were responding helped tremendously. Anyway I have just left me recent partner of a 5 year relationship, depression did play a big part in it as we both struggled with it majorly. I decided to get right away from the area and Drive down to the coast and stay at my sisters where she lives. The first day I sat down by the sea and had a cup of tea in a cafe, my first thoughts were that my ex would love it down here, it,s a lovely part of the UK and the coastline is amazing. This triggered the start of a loop in which started me to crash within myself. I finished my tea and walked along the shoreline passing two loved up couples on the way. They were hand in hand, smiling at each other and totally absorbed in there love towards each other. I smiled as I passed and said hello, they acknowledged me and passed me by, each time I turned around and watched them continue in the very same manner as which I approached them. In love and together in what looked like bliss. The same bliss me and my ex had once had. But something had gone wrong, me and my ex were no longer together but I could not see any of that, just the good times flooding through my head and whatever I did i could not remember anything bad happening between us and why we were no longer together. The second day I drove up onto the moors, found a remote car park and sat just looping and thinking about my ex, all the good times, the cuddling and meaningful talks we used to have. Nobody around at all and yet I started to feel a bit calmer within myself. Trying to except it was over and just looking at the mountains, birds and scenery. This was until a rather large scruffy dog started wagging it,s tail and jumping up at my car window. I was eating a packet of cheddar cheese biscuits with the window wound down and I guess he must of smelled them somehow. I kind of smiled at the dog mainly because he was pretty bonkers and seemed to be totally obsessed with the food I was eating, then I heard a girls voice call his name and turned around to see a couple of hikers hand in hand very obviously in love and very happy. I immediately hit rock bottom, said a very uncomfortable hello so not to appear rude and drove straight away from where I was parked up. I don,t know what the couple must of thought by my strange behavior and it did flash through my mind that they probably thought I was dogging or something. I drove back to my sisters where I continued to talk about nothing else but my ex, my sister has been a real support system to me but you kind of somehow feel when someone is getting tired of hearing the same old thing, yet I,m stuck in the loop and it,s all just going around and around and around and around and around....... Today I drove back up to the moors, drove off the main road and along a muddy track approx a mile long, and ended up grounding the car on a rock which stupidly I tried to drive around. My theory was if I could get to a point on a mountain I had seen, there was just no way on earth anyone else would be up there. I was so absorbed and looping badly on my relationship it didn,t even occur to me that if it was going to be near on impossible for hikers to make it up there, how on earth was I going to make it in this little beat up old car that I drive. But logic had gone out of the window and I was now grounded on a rock with the front wheel drive partly airborn. I tried pushing it, I tried using a branch to lever it away and it just wouldn,t budge, then I thought what would my ex do? She would start crying I thought to myself, so that,s exactly what I did. I started crying, to a point I could cry no longer. Anyway after 3 hours my brain decided to rejoin me, I collected as many small rocks and stones I could find and placed them under the front wheels, after lots of scraping, revving and swearing the car was back in action, I then spent another hour carefully reversing the same way I had come. To my absolute horror I saw the same dog again that I had seen yesterday, followed by the same couple who were now staring at me in such a way I have decided to drive back to where I live tomorrow through fear of being sectioned in the local physiatric hospital. Relationship break ups are the worst of the worst, logic and reasoning go completely out of the window. I don,t have any advice on how to get through a break up, except never try driving your car off road when you are feeling completely lost, down and highly emotional. You will end up getting stuck!!!
OneBigIdgit Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 In regards to the breakup, did you plan the break for quite awhile or does it seem the decision to break happened quickly? In your marriage break, which brought you to LoveShack, were you the dumper or the dumpee? if you were the dumpee, can you compare the pain you felt as the dumpee to what you are feeling now as the dumper?
ApexTitanium Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 Hey man we all do dumb **** after a breakup, few weeks after mine I drove my brand new SS camaro into the overpass on the freeway at 95mph. Swear that thing must have gotten a good 10ft air born. And I still walked away like....what the hell is god punishing me? How am I not dead...he must want me to live with the pain. You got lucky....all you did was get stuck in some mud
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