everyday battle

[NTB]

some how everyday has become a battle of just trying to move on i really can't stop thinking about her no matter what i do. i think i am going to die of a broken heart. i did the NC, and hanging out with friends and all that stuff they say to do when you break up and to give it time and all that jazz but honestly it has been 3 months and i am still going crazy over her i was ready to marry this girl now i got nothing

 

my feelings are so mess up i don't know what to think anymore

i really am at the end of the rope here.....all i do is work and then spend my days in my room watching tv

 

anyone have anything else they can advise for me to do cause i don't know what else to do........seeing other people is out of the question as i am not exactly the best company right now

 

i so just wanna take off and hide in a cave somewhere

i wonder if work will allow that

[Nick14]

DoOd i am going thru the same crap your going thru except its been 8 months for me. I still get down from time to time thinking about her. Like you, I wanted to marry this girl and I was committed to that. It sucks even more, I been dating here and there since Jan. and all I am doing is just comparing, I AM FREAKING COMPARING!! It also bothers me that since September, she has not contacted me at all. I write her, no reply. I text her, no reply. I am blocked of her AIM list, this sucks. I guess thats how you make 2.5 years with someone disappear. The only thing I can tell you is just stay busy man. I am tryin too, things come and go, its like flashbacks and then i get all down and write something. You know whats the most frustrating part is...after 8 months, I am still in love with her and i can't do a damn thing about it. I dunno what hurts more, getting dumped or be treated like a complete stranger..Hang tough man..

[Donut]

I'm 7 months in and only just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel! I still have a long way to go, I know, and I have relapses but I have to force myself to realise that someone who can leave me does not properly love me, so I deserve better.

 

Everyone grieves differently, so please just go with it, it's perfectly normal. Don't rush it, learn from it, one day you'll be glad you did.

 

((((hug)))) it WILL get better.

[NTB]

thanks for the comforting words i just can't seem to get her out of my head

i swear i want to have someone take a swing at my head with a sledge hammer that i could think of something else

[Donut]

No need to do that!!

 

You can't hurry a broken heart I'm afraid, so don't try to, but don't wallow unnecessarily in it either. Take baby steps all the way.

 

Have you been reading any self help books at all? Have you tried keeping a journal?

Have you thought about counselling?

 

Yesterday I burned some stuff that I kept from him, and put anything else in a box out of the way.

 

I've found this has helped a tiny bit.

[cowboyway]

I am in the same boat as you buddy it has now been 7 months and I am just starting to get over it. I do think of her everyday, but it hopefully will get less and less. The pain is decreasing anyway. I have hooked up with other girls, but nothing fills that void and takes away the pain. I think it only causes more, I know where you are at 3 months it kills. I passed the time doing a lot of reading about relationships and I never picked up a book before with the exception of school and that was years ago. I did make some mistakes in my relationship not that they were relationship enders, but I learned a lot of valuable info that will make my next relationship a great one. Hang in there buddy if you need to talk drop me an e-mail.....

[moon]

I agree with Donut. I got ditched (basically) almost six months ago (after a 3 year relationship) and my ex took up with a new woman less than a week later.

 

OH THE PAIN!!! Nobody can really help you get used to that pain. But slowly, slowly, slowly it starts to widdle itself down. I find my "pain" comes in waves now. Actually I can go whole days feeling fine, but then later in the evening I can start to feel bad again for no particular reason. I am getting much better at talking myself out of it, though.

 

At the present moment---I feel just fine. That's what's so strange about it. In a few hours something might bring me down again....who knows.

 

I think what helps me is knowing that my ex gets further and further from my life. That's the beauty of time.

 

So just CONTINUE to ride it out.....step by step....sooner or later, you'll see what your ex did to you (or in regards to the break up in general) for the bull sh*t it really was. You'll grow. You'll learn. You'll flourish.......you'll be all better. Just keep walking in the direction of recovery. Don't call them, don't write.....Doing nothing is actually what's going to make you feel better later. Sit on your hands if you have to, but don't pick up the phone. Take your anger out by writing hate letters to your ex---if that's what you must do--- that you'll never send. Do whatever it takes to keep yourself separated from them and then slowly, in time.....the air will begin to smell a little sweeter and the clouds will part and you'll begin to feel whole again. Just wait. But it takes time. Everybody goes through a different process. But as long as you're not doing anything to rattle up the situation. As long as you're keeping a low profile, reading self-help books, seeing a therapist, watching funny movies, whatever.....as long as you are doing something to get you threw it......one day it will feel like a forgotten dream. I know this even more because I have been through bad break ups before.

 

Here's one little tid bit. I used to really love this guy I used to go out with many years ago. We had a bad break up and I left from where we were living. I actually never saw him again. We did have a little bit of contact through e-mail, but that was that. I used to feel so bad about that break up. I thought he was the love of my life. I was so in love with him at one time. Well, he got married some years ago. I remember hearing that and even though I had another boyfriend it still hurt.

 

Well the other day I was looking on the internet and I came across a picture of him and his kids and wife. You know....I felt no emotion at all. I just thought....how cute. I wish him well. I mean I have been over him for years as far as I am concerned, but that was the true test. So, these things take time to heal from, but you will get better. Sooner or later........try to make it sooner if you want to get on to finding the real love of your life.

[moon]

I'd just like to add that I also agree with the others who responded here who have said it's been six, seven or eight months since their break up and they still hurt from it. I think it's funny because when you first have the break up you think to yourself, ok I am going to give myself a few months to heal from this. But that's not enough. I think realistically after about six months you start to feel almost human again. Some say the real magic number is a year. But take time if you need it. Nobody is holding a gun to your head and saying GET OVER THIS. It's your life.

 

So don't rush yourself too much. How many times do you really fall in love in this life anyway? The recovery process is a direct result of allowing yourself to feel vulnerable. If you didn't have the guts to allow yourself to feel vulnerable.....well you'd never get any love at all. Heartbreak is the gamble. But make sure in due time you remember to put yourself first again and make your happiness a priority over missing an ex and continuing to feel miserable.

[soosad]

I feel for you. It does slowly get better. I felt almost fully healed until the spa left a message today on my machine for my ex. It's been almost 6 months and all those memories came rushing back in an instant. My heart was pounding i just kept thinking about how i would feel when she made her next appointment. So i emailed her and asked politely if she would update her information at the spa and she politely responded she did.

 

So slowly it will get better bud. My cousin said it took him 2 years to fully heal and meet his wife. He extremely happy and has 2 beautiful kids now. Just make sure to let out you hurt when you can whether by crying or talking to friends and family. I still shed a tear almost once a week

and feel much better afterward. Take your time, you'll know when your ready to start dating. It also helps me to hang out with my single friends

I've been somewhat avoiding coupled friends. Tell your friends and family not to mention her name unless you ask to speak about her. Take walks around your neighborhood and take in the fresh air. You'll feel tons better and you'll probably crack a smile or two. Your not alone bud.

Plenty of wise ones on these forums to help you through this.

 

Hang in there bud,

Soosad